Times
by The King's Soldier
Summary: Meredith is beating herself up over not being there in Lexie's final moments, so Derek suggests remembering all the times that she was there for Lexie. A collection of one-shots showing various moments throughout Meredith and Lexie's relationship. Covers seasons 4-8. Most main characters make some kind of appearance.
1. The Funeral (Part I)

Disclaimer: I don't own the show. If I did, Lexie would probably still be alive.

Author's Note: I realize I'm a little late to the Grey's Anatomy party, but I just started watching some of it recently. I immediately fell in love with the character of Lexie, and her relationship with Meredith gave me ridiculous amounts of inspiration. So this story was born. It came from a combination of wishing the Grey sisters had gotten more scenes together and feeling like Meredith would beat herself up for not being there when Lexie died. This story was inspired by the song "Times" by Tenth Avenue North, which lists a series of specific instances. The chapter titles of this story will each be loose interpretations of the lyric that inspired that particular chapter. Also, I listen to a lot of music while I write, so I've decided to include the names of key songs that influenced a certain chapter's tone in case people want to listen to those. I think that covers all the logistics... I hope you enjoy the story!

Musical Inspiration: "See You Again" by Charlie Puth

* * *

 **The Funeral (Part I)  
**

Lexie's funeral is a simple affair. She would've wanted it that way. Almost the entire hospital staff shows up at the cemetery that morning. There's even a handful of Derek's more recent patients who live in the area and want to be here to honor the kind doctor who helped them through. It's a testament to Lexie that she touched so many lives. The one that really blows Meredith's mind is the young woman from Australia who somehow heard about the crash and flew all the way across the world just to be here. Cristina quietly explains to Meredith that the woman was in a serious accident a few years ago and the recovery process was so intense that she wanted to die. What convinced her to keep living was Lexie's friendship. Now there's a wedding ring on her left hand and a tiny toddler in her arms.

Most of the short service goes by in a blur. A pastor April knows gives a sweet speech that makes several people tear up, but to Meredith it's all just empty words. He didn't even know Lexie. He can talk all day about how kind she was and how much she'll be missed, but none of it means anything because he didn't actually know her.

Soon enough the service is over and the casket is buried in the ground. Then the hard part begins. Everyone wants to hug Meredith and tell her how sorry they are. Bailey takes Zola off on a walk so Meredith can focus on the faces. But most of them just say the same thing. Lexie meant so much to them, and they're so sorry for Meredith's loss. Over and over and over.

One of the people that does stand out is Clara, the woman from Australia. There are tears in her eyes as she introduces Meredith and Derek to her young son. His name is Alex. Clara tells them that she knows he won't remember today when he gets older, but she wanted to be sure he got the chance to meet his namesake. After she walks away, it takes a good five minutes before Meredith can speak again.

Gradually the river of mourners dies down until there's only family left standing in front of the tombstone. Thatcher is here and perfectly sober, along with his girlfriend. (Lexie would've loved that.) Molly and Eric have flown in with little Laura, who will be old enough to start school next year. She's too young to truly understand what death means, but she's still very solemn as she looks down at her aunt's gravestone. Thatcher and Molly are both crying freely. Meredith isn't sure she could work up any tears even if she wanted to. She cried herself out in the woods and then again in the hospital, and she hasn't been able to do it since.

After an appropriately respectful amount of time, Thatcher's little clan pulls itself together and heads back to his house. Meredith and Derek are invited to join them, but Meredith politely declines. Jackson and Webber have organized a commemorative dinner for the hospital staff, and they've already agreed to attend. Lexie would've been okay with that. Besides, while Thatcher and Molly may have been Lexie's family, they're not Meredith's and they probably never will be. Not like Lexie was. It's not that Meredith doesn't like them. That's just how things are.

Finally it's just Meredith and Derek standing there. Together they stare down at the ground that now holds Lexie's broken body.

"She would've liked this spot," Derek says quietly.

It's true. There's carefully manicured grass growing all around the well-kept graves, and a tiny walkway runs through the rows. Large, shady trees grow here and there. But the plot where they've laid Lexie to rest is out in the open where the sun can shine on it all day long.

"I should've been there," Meredith says quietly. "She was being crushed by a plane, and I just left her there alone."

Derek reaches over and takes her left hand in his good one.

"She wasn't alone," he tells her. "She died holding the hand of the man she loved. She would've been okay with that."

"She was my little sister," Meredith says with an angry shake of her head. "I was supposed to take care of her."

"You left her in the care of two of the most talented doctors I know," Derek says. "Her injuries were just too severe. There was nothing you could've done for her."

"I could've been there," Meredith insists. "She needed me, and I wasn't there."

"You were there," Derek says. Meredith looks over at him in confusion, so he explains. "You were there for her for five years. Every moment you spent with Lexie was you being there. Every time you reached out, every time you hugged her or talked with her or had her back, you were there."

"But I wasn't there when it mattered," Meredith says, turning back to the grave in front of her.

"It all mattered to Lexie," Derek says quietly. "Every single moment she had with you mattered to her. The one thing Lexie wanted most in this world was to have a relationship with her big sister. And you gave her that. You were there for her, Meredith. And she knew it."

He's right, of course. Lexie wouldn't blame Meredith for what happened, and she wouldn't want Meredith to blame herself either. She would want Meredith to move on.

"I'll give you a minute," Derek says. "Take your time."

He gives Meredith's hand a final squeeze before letting go. Meredith stares silently down at Lexie's name on the stone as Derek walks back across the grass toward the path. She can't bring herself to leave just yet, but she doesn't really know what to do here either.

She's still trying to figure it out when she remembers a conversation she and Lexie once had about Susan's death. Lexie had been missing her mother, and Meredith had given her a piece of advice.

" _Every time it hits you that she's gone, try and remember something good that you had because of her. It won't make it stop hurting, but it will make you glad for the time you had."_

If Lexie were standing here right now, Meredith has a feeling that she would say something similar. She wouldn't want Meredith to focus on her death. Instead, Lexie would tell her to remember the good. To relish every single moment of those five years that they had together. And right now, that's the only way Meredith can think of to honor her sister.

She closes her eyes and lets the memories of Lexie wash over her.

* * *

This is my first time writing for this show, so please take a few seconds to leave a quick review letting me know what you thought. It will seriously make my day. I'll try to post the next chapter in the next couple days, so keep an eye out. And as you may have noticed, this prologue is Part I. We'll be coming back to this scene at the very end of the story to wrap it up, so keep it in the back of your mind. Thanks for reading!


	2. Times You Doubt Me

Disclaimer: I own no part of this show.

Author's Note: Here's the first "real" chapter of this story. It takes place around the middle of season 5 shortly after Lexie moves in with Meredith and Derek. And for those of you who read the prologue before I updated, I'm going to start including the names of key songs that influenced the tone of each chapter. So there's that too. But enough of me talking. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Good Ol' Days" by The Script

* * *

 **Times You Doubt Me**

They're at Joe's when Meredith finally admits out loud that she has fully accepted Lexie into her life. It's been a crazy day all over the board, so Meredith and the others are out getting some well-earned drinks. Lexie is with them. She's been living at Derek and Meredith's for a couple of weeks now, which means that she typically ends up at Joe's on all the same nights simply because they're her ride home. There was a day that would've driven Meredith crazy. She had wanted Lexie to get as far away from her as humanly possible. But now being here together just feels normal.

Alex went up to the bar for another drink and ended up flirting with some blonde, and Cristina has just shot off across the room toward one of her poor unsuspecting interns with all the dark glee of a homing missile. So Meredith is sitting alone at their table when Lexie comes back with two fresh drinks.

"So," Lexie says in that peppy little voice that somehow no longer sounds like nails on a chalkboard. "How was your day?"

"Busy," Meredith says wearily. She gratefully takes the beer Lexie hands her. "Yours?"

"A wreck," Lexie says with a dramatic shake of her head. "I was in the ER, and a bunch of guys got brought in from this bar fight. By the way, how can there be a bar fight at two in the afternoon? Who on Earth is in a bar at that time of day?"

"Drunks," Meredith says without missing a beat.

Lexie pauses her story briefly as she thinks that one over.

"Good point," she admits. Meredith lifts her beer to her lips to hide the smirk she feels forming on her face. But Lexie just charges right on. "Anyway, there were a whole bunch of them, and they were all completely drunk. Although they were actually fairly polite for drunks. Except that one guy swore a lot. Really loudly. And this one old biker kept calling me 'the hot one,' so now some the male interns keep calling me that, and I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended."

"They're children," Meredith says with an unimpressed lift of her eyebrow. "You might as well take it as a compliment. It's slightly less irritating that way. Slightly."

"Yeah, okay," Lexie says. She doesn't sound too convinced though.

Meredith sets her beer down on the table and gives Lexie a pointed look.

"If they start to bother you, let me know," she says. "I'll have Cristina take care of it."

"I can take care of myself," Lexie says with that cute little grin of hers.

"I know," Meredith says, learning back in her chair. "But male interns are a species unto themselves. The last thing I need is one of those horny man children messing with my Little Grey."

That said, she takes a long drink of her beer. It isn't until she's brought the bottle back down and set it on the table that she realizes Lexie is staring at her with a strange expression.

"What?" Meredith asks defensively.

"You just called me your Little Grey," Lexie says as if it's the most shocking thing in the world.

"Everybody calls you Little Grey," Meredith says in confusion. "You are the little Grey."

"I know," Lexie says, leaning forward eagerly so her weight is supported by her arms on the table. "But you called me your Little Grey. Yours. Like I belong to you or something."

It takes a second for her full meaning to sink in. And it's a good thing Meredith's not in the middle of a drink when it does, because she just might have choked to death on her beer. She just called Lexie hers. Hers. True, she's been referring to Lexie as her sister for a while now. But that's just a biological fact. There's no real claim in it. This, on the other hand… This is huge.

Her gut reaction is to try and brush it off as a slip of the tongue. She has been drinking. If she really wanted, she could probably get Lexie to believe that it was the alcohol talking. She already has her mouth open and the words nearly out of it. But then she looks across the table at Lexie with her baited breath and her wide doe eyes, and suddenly Meredith just can't bring herself to release the words. Lexie just looks so hopeful. And Meredith doesn't have it in her to hurt her sister.

Because the truth is, it wasn't just a slip of the tongue. Lexie means something to her. Actually means something. She's no longer just the painful reminder of Meredith's father leaving. She's not even just some irritating intern who won't go away. She means something. Something that Meredith finds herself to be instinctively protective of. Is this what having a little sister feels like? That's what Lexie is, after all. Her sister. That used to be just a simple, six-letter word, but suddenly it's like a door has been flung open. Suddenly that word actually means something. True, they're only just on the threshold of it. But Lexie is her sister. Hers. And maybe it's time for Meredith to finally stop fighting that.

So instead of taking the easy route and pushing Lexie away for what would probably be the five hundredth time, she forces herself to close her mouth and stop the words. Lexie is on the edge of her seat as she waits for a response. It's only been a second or two since she spoke, but she looks like she's been waiting for an eternity. Even so, Meredith takes a breath and lets it out. And then she nods.

"You do," she says simply.

A smile begins tugging at Lexie's mouth, but she fights it back with visible effort.

"You mean that?" she asks curiously.

And then Meredith finally sees it. Hiding inside those big, bright eyes is a spark of fear. Fear that Lexie is about to be rejected again. That she's still the same heartbroken intern standing alone in the hallway as Meredith once again slams the metaphorical door and walks away. Meredith may have gradually come to accept Lexie, but Lexie still isn't quite sure that it'll last. The sheer amount of vulnerability in her eyes is staggering. And Meredith can't bear to let that insecurity stand any longer.

"Yeah," she says. She had started to pick up her beer a second ago, but now she sets it back down so she can focus all of her attention on Lexie. "You're my sister, Lexie. My sister, my Little Grey."

It's like someone has just plugged in the lights on a Christmas tree. Lexie's face is positively beaming with happiness. It's the brightest smile Meredith has ever seen from her sister. And that's saying a lot, considering that this is perky little Lexie. She looks like Meredith has just handed her the most precious gift in the world. Does Meredith's acceptance really mean that much to her? Apparently it does. And surprisingly enough, knowing that it does also means a great deal to Meredith.

Lexie opens her mouth to say something that would probably have taken her a few stumbling attempts to get out, but then Alex suddenly appears from somewhere and she quickly shuts her mouth. Moment officially over. Alex, oblivious as ever, drops himself down into his chair with a dramatic thud.

"I miss anything good?" he asks before throwing back a drink of whatever it is he just ordered.

Meredith lifts her own drink to her lips, smiling conspiratorially at Lexie as she does so.

"Nope," she says.

Alex shrugs and launches off into a play-by-play of his interaction with a man who was apparently "the worst patient ever." Cristina returns a moment later, having grown bored with harassing her poor intern, and suddenly the table is full again. The conversation continues on well into the night, accompanied by a great deal of laughter and more than a few drinks. It's a good time. But what truly makes the evening for Meredith is that Lexie doesn't stop beaming the entire night.

* * *

Please take a second to leave a short review telling me what you thought. I would be extremely grateful. And thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed the prologue. It made my day. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. If you want to see what the upcoming chapters will be based on, feel free to look up the song. Although I may decide to interpret some of the lines a little differently than what you're expecting. But still. Thanks so much for reading!


	3. Times You Can't Feel

Author's Note: I tried to post this earlier, but I couldn't because parts of the site were down. So here it is now. This chapter takes place immediately after 4x10. Lexie ends up losing a patient she fought to save, and it hits her pretty hard. Cristina feels bad for her and takes her back to Meredith's house, where they proceed to have a drink and a dance party. This chapter picks up later that same night. In the next episode, Meredith makes breakfast for Lexie, which is a pretty big step for her. I think it would've taken a lot more than Lexie just having a bad day to make Meredith actually reach out like that, so this chapter is my take on what that extra push might have looked like. Also, I'm not totally clear on the layout of Meredith's house, so I have Lexie and George staying in a room upstairs. Hopefully that's right. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "I'll Be Good" by Jaymes Young

* * *

 **Times You Can't Feel _  
_**

It's late when the dance party finally ends. After the day they've all had, they needed the release. But finally they wear themselves out. Lexie stumbles upstairs to George's room (he volunteered) with a hand over her yawning mouth while George and Izzie wander off to resume whatever they were talking about before. That leaves Meredith and Cristina slumped on the couch alone. And to be perfectly honest, that's fine with both of them.

"Crazy day," Meredith says as she stares idly at the opposite wall.

"Tell me about it," Cristina says wearily.

Silence reigns in the living room for a moment. Then Meredith abruptly turns sideways on the couch so she's facing Cristina.

"Okay, will you please explain to me why you brought my sister home?" she asks as she pulls her legs up under her. "I would understand if it was a puppy or a kitten, but Lexie? Really?"

"She lost her first patient today," Cristina says. Her head is still resting against the back of the couch, and she doesn't bother turning it to look at Meredith. She doesn't have to. That simple sentence is explanation enough.

"Oh," Meredith says quietly. She knows from experience how hard that is. "That…"

"Sucks?" Cristina finishes. She glances briefly over at Meredith before returning her gaze to the far wall. "Yeah. It was a bad one too. The guy's carotid blew. Blood went everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Lexie was covered in it by the time I got there. She looked like Carrie. But she had her hand on his throat, and somehow she kept enough blood in him to keep him alive. I don't know how she did it. They were pumping blood into him as fast as they could, and it just kept coming out. But Lexie just kept holding on." She glances over at Meredith again. "She didn't cry either. I kept waiting for her to cry, but she didn't."

It could just be that she's exhausted, but Meredith could swear that Cristina actually sounds impressed. And that's pretty impressive in and of itself.

Meredith adjusts her position a bit, putting her arm on the back of the couch and leaning her head against her hand so she's more comfortable.

"So what happened?" she asks quietly. She already knows how this ends. The guy dies. But she has to ask anyway. Something about this story has grabbed hold of her and it won't let go.

"We couldn't get an OR," Cristina says. "Everything was full. Sloan had us take him to a procedure room. We tried to make it work, but by the time Sloan got started, it was already too late. He coded about a minute in. We tried to bring him back, but there was nothing we could do." Cristina shakes her head. "He shouldn't have even made it that long. But somehow Lexie kept him alive until he got there. And then he bled out right in front of her because we couldn't find a damn operating room."

Cristina sighs heavily, her frustration evident. Against her will, Meredith finds her gaze drifting toward the stairs that Lexie disappeared up just a few minutes long ago. Losing a patient is one thing. It's hard, but it's also part of the job. But to save someone, to dare to hope that they're going to make it, and then to have them ripped away? That's a whole different kind of cruel.

"She wanted to stay with the body until his parents came," Cristina says wearily. "I went back by the room a few hours later and she was still there. The body was gone, but she was still sitting there just staring at the table. And then she looked up at me with those big, sad eyes and said she didn't have anyone." She turns her head to look over at Meredith. "I couldn't just leave here there like that. I tried. I couldn't do it."

"You didn't want her to be alone," Meredith says in understanding. Cristina looks over at her with her eyebrows raised, surprised to have gotten such a calm reaction. Meredith just shrugs. "We can't save them all. We should be able to. We're doctors. Saving people is what we do. But sometimes we can't. And the day you learn that... Well, it sucks."

Cristina turns her head back so she's looking at the far wall again.

"You should've seen her today," she says. She definitely sounds impressed now. "She kept him alive for almost an hour. With a blown carotid. It was amazing." She frowns suddenly as if realizing what she just said. She quickly tilts her head to look over at Meredith and adds, "For an intern."

"For an intern," Meredith agrees with a smile.

Her gaze drifts again toward the stairs. It sounds like Lexie had one hell of a day. She has to be in pain right now. Pain that Meredith understands all too well, unfortunately. And in spite of her adamant dislike of Lexie's very existence, Meredith has a sudden urge to make sure she's okay.

"I'm gonna go see if she found everything," she says as she stretches out her legs.

"Whatever," Cristina says noncommittally. She really must be tired if she's not arguing.

Meredith forces herself off the couch and heads upstairs. The landing is quiet when she gets there, although she can make out hushed conversation coming from Izzie's room. Meredith taps briefly on the door to George's room before entering.

"Hey, Lexie?" she calls as she pushes the door open. "Did you find every-"

The sight of the room's lone occupant causes Meredith to fall abruptly silent. Lexie is sound asleep on the couch in a top and sweat pants that Meredith loaned her. Cristina had insisted on that. ("Yes, I know I brought her home, but she's your sister, so she should borrow your pajamas.") Lexie's own clothes are sitting in a neat pile beside the couch. She must have been exhausted to fall asleep this fast. She looks so peaceful lying there. And so young.

Meredith puts her hand on the doorknob, fully intending to turn around and leave. But then she sees the blanket George dug out still sitting neatly folded on the end of the couch near Lexie's feet. Apparently she was too tired to even unfold it. And just like that, some inner protective instinct that Meredith hadn't even known she possessed suddenly rears its irresistible head. She pads quietly across the room and picks up the blanket. Then she hesitates. Tucking Lexie in seems like an awfully sisterly thing to do. But suddenly all Meredith can think of is Lexie sitting alone in a cold procedure room staring down at the dead body of a patient she failed to save. That clinches it. Even so, Meredith glances down the couch at Lexie's closed eyelids to be sure she really is asleep. Only once Meredith is completely sure does she unfold the blanket and carefully drape it over Lexie's sleeping form. When she gets to the other end of the couch, she hesitates briefly before gently tucking the edge of the blanket under Lexie's chin. Lexie never even stirs.

As she stands there looking down at her sister, Meredith is surprised to find that she can see traces of Susan Grey hiding in that sleeping face. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) Meredith forgets that Lexie isn't just Thatcher's daughter. She's also Susan's. The same Susan who bought Meredith groceries when she was going through a hard time. And thinking about that makes Meredith want to do something more for Lexie than just tucking her in after she's already asleep. She wants to do something that matters. Something that Lexie will know she did. Maybe Meredith could make breakfast tomorrow. She's not really much for cooking, but how hard could breakfast be? Besides, it would only be breakfast. It's not like Meredith would be inviting Lexie to move in or anything. Just doing a nice little something for a colleague who had a bad day. No big deal.

A noise from across the hall pulls Meredith from her thoughts. She'll have to remember to warn George before he comes in here. Lexie needs her sleep. Especially after the day she's had. It won't do for her to be woken up by George banging around looking for his toothbrush.

Meredith walks back across the room as quietly as she can. The floor doesn't squeak, thankfully. Neither does the door. She carefully pulls it closed, stopping it at a crack so she can take one last look at Lexie's face just to be sure she really is still asleep. Satisfied with what she sees, Meredith turns off the light and shuts the door fully.

As she turns away from the door, Meredith decides that she should definitely try to make breakfast tomorrow. How hard are omelets?

* * *

So there you have chapter two. If you could spare a second to write a quick review, I would be extremely grateful. And thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. You guys rock. Come back in a couple days for the next chapter. It's set later in the show when Meredith and Lexie have a much stronger relationship, and it'll be straight up Grey sister bonding time with a fair bit of humor thrown in. Thanks for reading!


	4. Times You Question 'Is This Real'

Author's Note: This chapter is a pretty fun one. It's set later in season 7 shortly after Lexie and Jackson start dating. I think it's pretty clear that Lexie was still hung up on Mark even from the beginning of her relationship with Jackson, so I wanted to show a little bit of that. I also wanted to show a fairly normal sister moment between Meredith and Lexie, although with a bit of a Grey family spin. This chapter was hard to keep in character for some reason, so hopefully it all works. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Souvenirs" by Switchfoot

* * *

 **Times You Question 'Is This Real?' _  
_**

It's late when Meredith gets home. She expects the house to be pretty quiet. All its residents should be either still on shift at the hospital or tucked in their beds desperately trying to scrape together a few hours of sleep before their own shift starts. Which is why Meredith is surprised when she opens the front door and sees light in the living room.

"Hey, you're back," Lexie's voice says.

Meredith hangs up her jacket and comes around the corner to see Lexie curled up on the couch. A paused video of a brain surgery is currently occupying the television screen.

"And you're still up," Meredith says in her best mom tone.

"Yeah," Lexie says. She looks down at the remote in her hands. "I was sort of waiting for you."

"Really," Meredith says in interest. She kicks off her shoes and walks over to the couch where she sits down next to her sister.

"Yeah," Lexie admits. "I need to ask you something."

She's still staring down at the remote. It's almost like she's avoiding Meredith's gaze. Then she glances up out of the corner of her eye and Meredith knows there's definitely something up. Her own eyes narrow in suspicion.

"Spill," she orders.

Lexie hesitates before turning around on the couch to face her sister.

"It's about guys," she admits, hugging her knees to her chest. And then it all comes out in a rush. "Mark and I are over again because he ended up having a child with someone else again and then trying to bring them into my life again. And I was mad at him about it. Like really mad. And then Dad got a girlfriend, and it just felt like everyone was moving on, you know? So I thought maybe I should too. And now Jackson and I are sort of a thing. I mean, we are a thing. We're dating. Jackson and I are dating."

She stops there and looks at Meredith expectantly.

"So what's your question?" Meredith asks in confusion.

"Well, how do I know if Jackson is actually the one?" Lexie asks.

"You mean like soul mates?" Meredith asks as she settles further back into the couch.

"Not really," Lexie says, tilting her head as she tries to figure out how to explain it. "How can I be totally sure Jackson's actually who I'm in love with?"

"Why wouldn't he be?" Meredith asks in confusion.

"I like him," Lexie says quickly. "I really do. But it's just different from…"

The confused frown on Meredith's face fades away as she finally sees where this is going.

"From the way you were with Mark," she finishes.

"Yeah," Lexie admits. A smile plays across her lips as she keeps talking. "Jackson's sweet and kind and he makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world that matters. But with Mark there was this… this fire that I just don't have with Jackson."

"Well, I think love is different with every person you fall for," Meredith says sagely. "But that doesn't mean it's not real."

"But if it's always different, then how do I know if I'm supposed to be with Jackson?" Lexie asks.

"I don't know that there is a 'supposed to,'" Meredith tells her. "I think we love who we love. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. And when it doesn't, then you find someone else."

"But how to you know if they're the right one?" Lexie asks pleadingly.

"Well, do you love him?" Meredith counters.

"Yes," Lexie says quickly. Too quickly. Meredith looks at her through narrowed eyes, and Lexie's eyebrows knit together as she forces herself to think about it. "I like him. I like him a lot."

"But do you love him?" Meredith presses.

"I think so," Lexie says. She doesn't sound convinced. Meredith waits expectantly. It only takes a fraction of a second for Lexie to cave under the pressure. "Maybe. I don't know."

She makes a frustrated noise and puts her hands up over her face.

"Okay, let's try something else," Meredith says. Lexie looks up in interest. "Are you over Mark?"

"Yes," Lexie says immediately. Meredith gives her another hard look. Once again, Lexie cracks. "I think I am. I should be after everything that happened."

"But are you?" Meredith asks. Lexie groans and drops her face back into her hands.

"I don't know," she moans, her voice muffled slightly by her palms.

Meredith can't help smiling a little at her sister's distress. It's actually quite cute.

"Do you need some ice-cream to help you figure this out?" she asks. Lexie lifts her head from her hands, and the expression on her face can only be described as pitiful.

"Yes," she says in a mild pout. Coupled with her big doe eyes, it's utterly irresistible.

"I'll see what I can do," Meredith says with a smile. She reaches out and pats Lexie's leg before getting off the couch. Lexie leans forward eagerly as Meredith starts across the room.

"Can we eat it in here?" Lexie asks. "This surgery's really interesting."

"You think all surgeries are interesting," Meredith says over her shoulder.

"Because they are," Lexie calls. "And you think so too. I'll restart it, and you can see for yourself."

"My love of surgeries is not a good enough reason to endanger my couch," Meredith says as she pulls two bowls out of the cabinet.

"Come on, Meredith," Lexie begs. "I'm in emotional distress."

"Fine," Meredith says with a roll of her eyes. She opens a drawer and digs out two spoons. "But if you get even one drop of ice-cream on my couch, you will be sleeping outside."

"That was one time," Lexie says defensively. "And besides, it was totally Alex's fault."

Meredith sticks her head back around the corner so Lexie can see her unamused expression.

"One. Drop," she warns, firmly enunciating both syllables.

"Okay, okay," Lexie says, giving in. "I promise not to get ice-cream on your couch."

Meredith gives her a final warning glare before going back into the kitchen. She digs the ice-cream out from the back of the fridge behind the frozen vegetables where she always hides it so Alex won't eat it all. Once she's filled both bowls, Meredith replaces the ice-cream and heads into the kitchen with them. She settles back down onto the couch, handing a bowl over to Lexie as she does so.

Lexie has rewound the surgery to its beginning, and now she restarts it with a push of a button on the remote. Both sisters watch in silence, their eyes glued to the screen as they spoon mint chocolate chip ice-cream into their mouths. It occurs to Meredith then that this is actually something normal sisters do – staying up late eating ice-cream and watching movies.

"Oh, this part's good," Lexie says suddenly. "There's about to be this really bad bleed."

"Shush," Meredith says out as she scoops up another spoonful of ice-cream. "No spoiling the surgery."

Sure enough, a growing pool of blood suddenly appears on the screen.

"Okay, here it is," Lexie says, shifting her position in eager anticipation. "Now watch this."

"Stop talking," Meredith says firmly.

"But they do this really cool thing-" Lexie begins.

"Eat your ice-cream, Lexie," Meredith orders, holding up her pointer finger in Lexie's direction. Lexie dutifully lifts her spoon to her mouth and takes a bite.

"Okay," she mumbles around the frozen desert now filling her mouth.

Silence falls again as they both intently watch the surgeons in the video rush to fix the bleed.

"There!" Lexie cries excitedly after a particularly impressive maneuver. She drops her spoon into her bowl and points at the television. "Did you see that? It was amazing!"

If Meredith were paying a little more attention to her sister, the sudden excitement might have raised serious concerns in Meredith's mind about the safety of her couch. But as it is, she's too impressed by the video to be worried.

"That was pretty amazing," she agrees.

"See?" Lexie says. She's grinning like a little kid. "I told you this was a good one."

Okay, so maybe this isn't quite what normal sisters do. Normal sisters don't stay up late eating ice-cream while watching surgeons operate on someone's brain. But then, the Grey sisters aren't exactly what one would call normal. And to be perfectly honest, Meredith wouldn't have it any other way.

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Since you're already down here, could you kindly spare a second to leave a quick review? It doesn't have to be long. And reviews make for a happy author. I'm just saying. The next chapter is going to be a pretty emotional one, so just a heads up on that. And again, if you want some teasers on where this story is headed next, you can always look up the lyrics for "Times" by Tenth Avenue North. Thanks for reading!


	5. Times You're Broken

Author's Note: This note is a bit long, so please bear with me. The season seven premiere showed the hospital staff dealing with the fallout of the shooting from the season six finale. During one of the flashbacks, Lexie has a breakdown in the ER and Mark is forced to commit her to the psych ward where she sleeps for two days straight. This chapter takes place a couple hours after she wakes up. A week later the therapist clears her for surgery, saying that her PTSD had given her intense insomnia and she was doing much better now that she had slept. However, a flashback to a previous therapy session shows that Lexie is pretty much a wreck after the shooting. Some of her dialogue in the season six finale also makes it clear that she blames herself for what happened because of her connection to Gary Clark. My theory is that Lexie finally just stuffed down all of her emotions and ignored them, which is then part of why she eventually snapped in the ER. And in order for her to have been mostly fine the next week, I think she must have finally dealt with all of that emotion. Getting caught up on sleep just gave her the energy to do it. So this is my take on what her finally dealing might have looked like. Plus, after seeing how well Meredith handles Cristina's breakdown in the OR, I really wanted to see her be there for Lexie. Especially since helping other people deal with the shooting seems to be Meredith's own way of coping with it. So in other words, this chapter's pretty emotional and sad. It's also one of the longer chapters. Hopefully it's all in character. I won't say enjoy, but hopefully you guys like it in a bittersweet sort of way.

Musical Inspiration: "I Was So Sure" by Former Vandal

* * *

 **Times You're Broken _  
_**

It's the middle of the afternoon when Meredith gets a call from Mark telling her that Lexie has been discharged from the psych ward. He and Meredith have been taking turns sitting beside Lexie's bed over the past two days, although Meredith has insisted on taking far longer shifts seeing as Lexie's her sister. But now Lexie is finally awake, and apparently she's insisting that she's fine. Mark isn't buying it though. Lexie had him take her back to Derek and Meredith's house but refused to let him stay. Which is part of why Mark then called Meredith. He's worried about Lexie. They both are. Her insomnia may have finally been dealt with, but the emotional scars are still very much there.

Most of the hospital staff has reacted to the shooting in one of two ways. First there are the doers. Alex sleeps with every girl who lets him, Jackson works himself to death during the day hoping his brain will be too tired for nightmares, and Derek floors the gas pedal of his car as if driving fast enough will somehow let him outrun his own life. Then there are the avoiders. Cristina is avoiding surgery, April is avoiding every supply closet in the hospital, Bailey is straight up avoiding Seattle, and Meredith is avoiding her miscarriage by trying to help other people work through their own trauma instead.

And then there's Lexie, who is avoiding the entire incident. She's simply acting as if none of it ever happened. Immediately after the shooting she was incredibly fidgety, always twitching her hands or bouncing her leg. And the facts she constantly seems to spout were suddenly all centered on death. Statistics of mass shootings, the number of gun-related deaths, things like that. It was disturbing, to be honest. But then that phase ended and Lexie was back to her perky old self. Which was also disturbing in its own way because it seemed like she never truly dealt with the shooting. (Not that Meredith has either, but still.) The only visible sign that anything was wrong was the fact that Lexie pretty much stopped sleeping altogether. She stayed up on the couch watching surgeries long after everyone else went to bed, and by the time they all woke up she was already well into her day. Meredith had begun to think it was only a matter of time until she finally snapped. Which she finally did. And in the ER, of all places. Mark had to forcibly commit her to the psych ward where she proceeded to sleep for two days straight thanks to all the drugs in her system. But now she's out and back to pretending that she's fine.

The shrink won't start clearing people for surgery until next week, which means Meredith doesn't really have much to do at the hospital right now. So she gets permission to head on home for the day. She's the first person back besides Lexie. Hopefully that'll give them a chance to talk.

Lexie's in the kitchen when Meredith walks in. She's making tea of all things. Lexie never drinks tea. She's always been a coffee girl. Except for when it's too late for caffeine, in which case she resorts to hot chocolate. The tea only comes out when she's trying really hard to calm herself down. It's just one more sign that something is indeed wrong.

"Hey," Lexie says when she sees Meredith enter the kitchen. She smiles, but it seems weak.

"Mark called and told me you were finally up," Meredith says. She walks around the counter toward Lexie, her eyes sweeping her sister for any visible sign of a problem. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better," Lexie says enthusiastically. "Turns out I just needed some sleep."

Meredith leans back against the counter and crosses her arms. She's still not convinced.

"So what did they say about work?" Meredith asks.

"I'm supposed to take a couple days off," Lexie says. She turns her attention to the electric kettle, suddenly totally occupied by it. "I can go back on Tuesday."

"That's it?" Meredith presses.

"I told you, I'm fine," Lexie says with that same fake enthusiasm. She's definitely not fine.

"Are you sure?" Meredith asks as Lexie picks up the kettle to pour her water into a mug. "Maybe you should talk to that therapist just to be sure-"

Lexie's head jerks up from the kettle and there's fire in her eyes.

"What?" she asks. The sudden edge to her voice is deeply worrying. "To be sure that I'm not crazy? That I won't suddenly snap and kill someone?"

"You're not crazy," Meredith tells her calmly. "I just want to be sure that you're okay."

"I told you, I'm fine," Lexie repeats, once more averting her gaze.

"Lexie, you freaked out in the middle of the ER," Meredith tells her. "A person who is fine doesn't do that. You're traumatized. We all are. Maybe it would help you to talk about it."

"It won't," Lexie says firmly.

Meredith pushes herself off the counter and steps over to Lexie in an effort to get her to listen.

"What we went through that day was horrific," she says. "It's not something you just get over." She pauses for a response, but Lexie just clenches her teeth and stays silent. So Meredith tries again. "I'm worried about you, Lexie. I really think you should talk to someone-"

Lexie slams the kettle down on the counter with such force that Meredith jumps.

"What do you want me to say?" Lexie asks angrily. "A guy came into the hospital, and he shot the place up! People died! Derek almost died! Alex almost died! I almost died! Did you know that? I was trying to save Alex, and I almost got shot! Gary Clark pointed a gun at my head! I was this close to dying, Meredith! This close! I almost died for Alex! And when I freaked out in the ER, he walked away! He just left me there! That's how much I mean to him!"

"Lexie," Meredith starts. But Lexie isn't finished.

"Everybody keeps wanting us to talk about it!" she yells. "But talking about it won't change anything! It won't fix any of us! It sure as hell won't bring back anybody who died! No matter what I say, we'll still be broken, and they'll still be dead, and it'll still be my fault!"

The last part of her rant shocks Meredith. Why in the world would Lexie blame herself?

"What are you talking about?" she asks in confusion. "How is this your fault?"

"Gary Clark," Lexie says. The anger has seeped out of her voice, instead being replaced by pain. But her tone is still just as fierce. "His wife was in the hospital on a ventilator. And I turned it off. I killed her. He begged me not to, but I did it anyway because she had some stupid advanced directive. So I killed her. And then he went and shot up the hospital. Because of me. Because I killed his wife. Everything that happened that day was because of me. Derek and Alex and Owen were shot because of me. Eleven people died that day because of me. Eleven people! Reed and Charles died because of me! And no amount of talking is gonna change that!"

There are tears welling in her eyes now. But before Meredith can react, Lexie turns abruptly and flees the kitchen. She's already halfway up the stairs by the time Meredith can finally speak.

"Lexie," Meredith calls weakly. She swallows hard and tries again. "Lexie!"

The only answer she receives is the sound of the attic door slamming shut. Suddenly the house is completely quiet. Meredith has no idea what to do. It never even occurred to her that Lexie was blaming herself. Why would it? But apparently she is. No wonder she hasn't wanted to talk.

"Damn it," Meredith mutters.

She stands in the kitchen for a long moment. She knows she needs to go upstairs and talk to Lexie, but she has no idea what to say. Finally she gives up trying to create a plan and just starts up the stairs. Part of her wonders if she should text Mark to be on standby just in case this particular breakdown takes a turn for the worst. But she wants to try and handle it by herself first.

She's not entirely sure what to expect when she pushes open the door into the attic that has become Lexie's room. What she finds is Lexie sitting on the edge of the bed with her face buried in her hands. Meredith quietly walks over and sits down beside her. The feeling of the mattress dipping down causes Lexie to pull her face out of her hands, but she won't look at Meredith. Instead, she rests her chin on her joined hands as her reddened eyes bore holes into the floor.

"It's my fault," she chokes.

"That's not true," Meredith tells her. Lexie just shakes her head. The gesture knocks a strand of hair into her face, and she unlinks her hands long enough to push it back behind her ear before resuming her original posture.

"I killed his wife," she says hoarsely.

"She was already gone," Meredith says. "You just did what you were supposed to do. If she left an advanced directive, then you were legally obligated to honor that."

"It's still my fault," Lexie says. "I'm the reason he shot up the hospital."

"No, you're not," Meredith says firmly. "Lexie, look at me."

Lexie hesitates briefly before finally turning her tear-filled eyes up toward Meredith. Meredith responds by reaching out and gently prying Lexie's hands apart so she can take hold of one of them in her own. The gesture causes Lexie to release a shaky exhale.

"It was not your fault," Meredith insists. Her eyes are locked with Lexie's, desperately trying to make sure she drives this point home. "You were just doing your job. You did nothing wrong. But Gary Clark made a choice. He chose to go into the hospital with a gun. It was a horrible choice, but it was still his choice. And everything that happened that day is his fault. Not yours. Okay?"

Lexie forces herself to nod. But if anything, she looks even closer to crying.

"I was so scared," she whispers.

"I know," Meredith says. She can barely talk around the lump in her throat. "So was I."

Lexie swallows, and when she speaks again, her voice is just a fraction louder.

"I thought Alex was gonna die," she says. "There was so much blood, and I didn't know what to do. I thought he was gonna die. And then I thought I was gonna die. He pointed the gun right at me. He said I killed his wife. He wanted to kill me. And now every time I close my eyes, I see him standing there with the gun. And I can't make it stop." Her breath catches suddenly in her throat, coming out as more of a strangled sob. Her eyes are rapidly filling with tears. "I can't make any of it stop. It was all so horrible and terrifying, and people died, and it hurts, Meredith. It really hurts. And I can't make it stop."

At this point Lexie completely dissolves into tears. Meredith can't take it anymore. She reaches out and pulls Lexie towards her. One of her arms wraps itself tightly around Lexie's shoulders while the other cradles Lexie's head. Lexie immediately buries her face in the crook of Meredith's arm. She pulls her legs up under herself as best she can, almost like she's trying to curl into Meredith and fade away. A flood of tears has already begun soaking through Meredith's sleeve. Lexie's entire body is shaking from the sobs that are tearing their way out of her. It's taking every ounce of strength Meredith has not to start crying herself. Instead, she lowers her head so her mouth is as close as possible to Lexie's ear.

"This is not your fault, okay?" she says softly. Lexie's probably crying too hard to understand the words, but Meredith can't just sit here. So she starts to talk as calmly as she can manage. "Nothing that happened that day was your fault. You did nothing wrong. You saved a man's life. You saved Alex. He is alive today because of what you did. And he knows that. You are not a murderer, Lexie. You're a hero."

Meredith can feel Lexie tensing in her arms as she tries to rein in her sobs enough that she can hear what her sister is saying. So Meredith keeps going.

"You are not broken," she continues, playing off of Lexie's rant in the kitchen. She swallows hard to clear her throat before amending that statement. "We are not broken. We're bruised and we're hurting, but we are not broken. And we're gonna get through this. I don't know how, but we are. Because we're Greys. And that means we're strong. You and I, we're strong, Lexie. And we're gonna be okay. You are going to be okay. I promise."

It's not exactly a promise she can keep, but that hardly matters. Lexie's gasping breaths have now died down to lightly stuttering inhales. She's still crying openly into Meredith's soaked sleeve, but at least she's breathing normally. That's a start. There's not really anything else Meredith can do at this point except let her cry. So she tucks Lexie's head under her chin and just holds on.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It's some time later when the door to the attic opens. Meredith has moved further up the bed so she can lean her back against the headboard, and Lexie is curled up on her side with her head resting atop one of Meredith's outstretched legs. She's finally managed to fall asleep. Even after sleeping for two days, she was still able to cry herself into exhaustion. Her breathing has been steady for a while, but Meredith's hand it still running through her hair just in case. Lexie has gotten a small handful of really bad headaches while living in this house, and Meredith learned after the first one that having someone's fingers running through her hair seems to soothe Lexie enough that she can fall asleep. Apparently the same is true when she's in severe emotional distress.

The sound of the door opening causes Meredith to look up from the bed. Derek is standing in the doorway watching her with a sympathetic expression.

"Hey," Meredith says quietly.

"Hey," Derek answers. He walks over to the side of the bed and his gaze falls on Lexie's sleeping form. "Is she okay?"

"No," Meredith says honestly.

She looks down at Lexie, whose right hand is clutching the fabric of Meredith's jeans. Her grip has loosened since she fell asleep, but she's still holding on. That simple gesture speaks volumes to Meredith. She smoothes a stray lock of hair away from Lexie's face before looking back up at Derek.

"But she will be," she says. She manages a weak smile, which Derek returns.

"You sleeping up here tonight?" he asks.

"I think so," Meredith says. The truth is that she could probably move Lexie without waking her. But she doesn't want to. Lexie needs her right now, and that means she's not going anywhere.

"You need anything?" Derek asks. Bless him for being so understanding.

"I think we're good," Meredith says.

Derek bends down over the bed and they share a small kiss.

"I love you," he says softly.

"I love you too," Meredith tells him.

Derek steps away from the bed and quietly crosses back over to the door. There he stops briefly to smile back at Meredith.

"Good night," he says.

"Good night," she says, returning the smile.

Derek heads back downstairs, closing the door behind him. After he's gone, Meredith looks back down at Lexie's closed eyelids.

"You're gonna be okay," she whispers. "You'll see."

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If you're reading this, PLEASE leave a short review. It will only take a second. Don't make me beg. And thanks to my one regular reviewer (you know who you are), as well as all the other random reviewers. You're amazing. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. I promise it'll have a much lighter tone. Thanks for reading!


	6. Times You Mend

Author's Note: Early in season six, Meredith gives up part of her liver to save her biological father. She makes it clear, however, that she's doing it for Lexie and not for him. While Meredith is recovering from her surgery, the new doctors from Mercy West arrive at Seattle Grace because of the merger. Several of the residents are worried that they may lose their jobs to the new doctors. Earlier in the season, Lexie had been extremely worried that she could be one of the residents laid off because of budget cuts. When it turned out her job was safe, she started crying from relief. I think the arrival of the new doctors might have reignited some of her worry. And after the pep talk Meredith gives the Seattle Grace residents from her hospital bed, I really wanted to see her boost Lexie's confidence a little. This chapter takes place in the days between episodes five and six before the two teams of doctors finally start to integrate. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Comes & Goes" by Greg Laswell

* * *

 **Times You Mend _  
_**

Meredith is losing her mind. It feels like she's been trapped in this hospital bed for an eternity. There is absolutely nothing on TV at this time of night, and all her friends are busy doing their jobs. If she has to stay here much longer, she's going to go crazy. She's starting to seriously question whether this was worth it. It's a little late for that, of course. It's not like she can exactly ask for part of her liver back. But if someone had told her beforehand exactly how irritating this recovery was going to be, she might have just stuck to her guns and said no.

As if on cue, there's a knock on the doorframe. Meredith looks up to see Lexie standing there. Speak of the devil. She's changed out of her hospital garb into regular clothes, so she's probably waiting on Mark to finish up so they can go home. She's made a lot of visits to this room lately. She obviously feels like she owes Meredith for the surgery. And she does. She owes her half a liver.

"Hey," Lexie says as she enters the room. She's smiling, but her voice doesn't sound as chipper as usual. Immediately Meredith is on high alert. Something's up.

Lexie grabs the empty chair and pulls it over beside Meredith's bed. At that point she's close enough for Meredith to tell that the usual sparkle is missing from her eyes. Something is definitely up.

"How was your day?" Lexie asks as she sits down.

"Are you really asking me that?" Meredith asks drily. "I'm bored out of my mind. I'm seriously starting to consider faking a flat line just to stir up some excitement."

Lexie chuckles, but again, it's weak. Plus she's started bouncing her right leg, a sure sign that she's worrying about something. Meredith narrows her eyes as she looks at her sister.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

Lexie's leg immediately stops bouncing.

"Nothing," she says quickly. "Why would anything be wrong?"

It's completely unconvincing.

"Because normally when you come in here, you either try to drown me in gifts or you go on and on about what a good sister I am until I want to strangle you," Meredith says bluntly.

"Oh," Lexie says with a slight wince.

Meredith sighs. Maybe that came out a little harsher than she intended. What can she say? She's stuck in a hospital bed with half a liver. But then again, that's not really Lexie's fault. Meredith did volunteer for this stupid thing.

"Come on," Meredith says, hoping to provide herself a distraction. "What happened?"

Lexie hesitates briefly. Meredith can practically see the wheels in her head turning as she tries to decide whether or not it's acceptable to dump her problems on the woman who just gave up part of her liver to save Lexie's father. But she must decide that it is because she finally sighs.

"It's the Mercy West doctors," she blurts out. She looks up at Meredith with wide eyes. "They're good, Meredith. They're really, really good. Some of them are even better than we are. They make us look like amateurs. And they keep trying to run things by their system, so everybody's confused and tripping over each other. What happens when the screw-ups finally get too big? The budget's already tight. If they start making cuts, who do you think is gonna go first? It won't be the Mercy West doctors. They're too good. It'll be us. We'll be the ones getting fired. And I really don't want to get fired. This job is everything to me. I love working here. I love working with you. And if I get fired…" She trails off, her mouth hanging open as she tries to find a way to finish that sentence. Finally she just settles for a strong, "I really don't want to get fired."

Meredith sighs inwardly. She had thought they were finally over this. Sure, Cristina is pretty upset, but she's not in danger of going anywhere. And some of the younger residents are clearly terrified, but Meredith actually finds that kind of amusing. She had thought, however, that everybody else had finally bucked up and decided to hold the line. But now Lexie is here anxiously wringing her hands. How many times is Meredith going to have to give a speech before it finally gets through these people's thick heads?

"You are not going to get fired," Meredith says firmly. "You are every bit as good as those Mercy West doctors. Plus you have a photographic memory, so I'd say that gives you a bit of an edge. And no offense to your class, but I can think of several people who would go long before you." She expects a bit of a smile, but Lexie's face is still drawn into a worried frown. So Meredith tries again. "Look. At the end of the day, you're an asset to this hospital. The chief would have to be an idiot to fire you. Which he's not. And if he ever tries, I will personally pitch a fit."

This time the corners of Lexie's mouth twitch upward a little.

"A big one?" Lexie asks with just a hint more levity.

"A really, really big one," Meredith confirms. There's a twinkle in Lexie's eyes now. This little pep talk is finally starting to work. "So they're good. So what? So are you. And I don't care how good they are. I'd pick you over one of them any day. And it's not just because you're my sister. You're good at this, Lexie. You're really good. So stop letting the Mercy West parasites get to you."

"But what if good isn't good enough?" Lexie asks nervously.

Someday those big, pleading eyes are going to be the death of Meredith.

"It is," Meredith tells her. "You're a Grey, Lexie. Surgery's in your blood."

"You got that from your mom," Lexie points out. The twinkle in her eyes has suddenly vanished. "I'm not actually related to Ellis Grey."

"It doesn't matter," Meredith says. "You have a natural talent for surgery that can't be learned. You either have it, or you don't. And you have it."

"You think so?" Lexie asks.

"I know it," Meredith assures her. "You're a Grey. And that means this hospital is your castle. And nobody takes away a Grey's castle. So you go out there and you show them who this castle belongs to. You can take them. So stop worrying about it before you give yourself a heart attack."

"Okay," Lexie says. There's a faint smile on her face now.

"And if any of them try to give you crap," Meredith adds, "you send them in here, and I'll put them in their place."

"From your hospital bed?" Lexie asks, her smile widening.

"From my hospital bed," Meredith confirms.

Lexie chuckles as Meredith intended. Then she shakes her head.

"Sorry," she says. She drops her gaze, trying to hide her slight embarrassment. "I'm supposed to be making you feel better, not the other way around."

"It's not like I have anything better to do," Meredith says drily.

"Good point," Lexie says.

A brief silence falls. Lexie's gaze drifts around the room as she tries to figure out how to go on from here. Her sudden identity crisis may have been averted, but she's still not quite ready to leave this room. Finally Meredith decides to throw her a lifeline.

"You want to watch crappy old movies with me?" she asks.

"I'd like that," Lexie says honestly.

Meredith scoots over a bit to make more room on the bed. Her side twinges at the movement, but it's nothing Meredith can't handle.

"Come on," she says, patting the mattress.

"Are you sure?" Lexie asks hesitantly. "I don't want to hurt you."

"If you do, I'll let you know," Meredith assures her.

Still Lexie hesitates.

"What about Bailey?" she asks.

"Bailey won't kill you," Meredith says. "Cristina's already been up here, and she's still alive. Now come on before I change my mind."

Lexie grins and crawls up onto the bed. It takes a little bit of maneuvering since the bed isn't really made for two, but finally they're both comfortable. Meredith turns on the TV and clicks over to some old black and white movie that looks horribly cliché. Sadly, it's the best they can do at this hour.

It only takes about a minute for the movie to get boring, so Meredith starts commenting to amuse herself. Pointing out flaws in the plot, exaggerating the dialogue, making up ridiculous pasts for the different characters. She can feel Lexie slowly relaxing beside her as the mockery continues. First Lexie just chuckles occasionally. Then she gradually starts joining in. By the time Mark finally comes looking for Lexie, the TV is on mute and she and Meredith are narrating the movie themselves in exaggerated voices with each of them speaking for designated characters. It's utterly hilarious. Lexie is only just barely holding it together. Finally she can't take it anymore and bursts out laughing. And once she starts, she can't seem to stop. Then Meredith starts laughing too, which only makes Lexie laugh harder. Even Mark, leaning silently in the doorway, can't stop himself from smiling at the sight of them.

As she looks over at Lexie laughing so hard that she's struggling to breathe and tears are threatening to run down her face, Meredith finally remembers that this is why she did it. This is why she gave up part of her liver. So she could keep hearing Lexie laugh like this, keep seeing that bright sparkle in her eyes. And that, Meredith decides, makes it all more than worth it.

But she still might strangle someone if she doesn't get out of here soon.

* * *

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Please keep it up. Hearing from my readers is what keeps me motivated to work on this story. The next chapter will be up soon. It'll be back in season four, so before Meredith and Lexie are on the best of terms. But I think it's still really a good moment. Thanks for reading!


	7. Times You Hate Me

Author's Note: In episode fifteen of season four, Lexie finds Meredith in the bathroom and gives this speech about how Meredith has failed as a sister but Lexie still loves her anyway. It looked to me like Meredith felt a bit guilty afterward. I really wanted to see a scenario where Lexie got pushed too far and Meredith realized exactly how much she's been hurting Lexie. Plus I really wanted for Meredith to finally stick up for Lexie and tell Cristina to back off a little. And I also think it would've been nice for Meredith to finally lay out for Lexie exactly how Meredith feels about her and why. So this chapter takes place shortly after 4x15 and shows my take on all of that. It may seem a little too emotional on Lexie's part, but I didn't think she wouldn't really let Meredith have it unless she was literally at her breaking point. Also, since I can't remember if Meredith has a favorite kind of cookie, I just picked one for the purposes of this chapter. This isn't really my favorite chapter, but in order to really do justice to the relationship between the Grey sisters, I felt like I needed to show some of the rocky bits as well as the good stuff. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "The Mess I Made" by Parachute

* * *

 **Times You Hate Me _  
_**

If there was one thing Meredith was not expecting to have to deal with today, it was Lexie Grey crying. Okay, so she's not crying yet. But she's definitely on the verge. Her eyes are already welling up. In fact, the only reason she's not crying already is probably because crying in the middle of a hospital full of people she knows would be mortifying.

Meredith's on her way to the cafeteria to get lunch when Lexie hurries by her. She passes so quickly that Meredith almost misses her reddened eyes.

"Lexie," Meredith calls, turning on her heel to face her sister. "Are you okay?"

Lexie stops in the middle of the hallway and stands still a moment before turning around.

"Since when do you care?" she asks. There's a hint of a tremor in her voice. Plus, it's a perfectly valid question. But Meredith really doesn't have the time or the energy to unpack that particular can of worms right now, so she just moves on.

"What happened?" she asks in concern.

Lexie shakes her head angrily.

"What happened is that I made the mistake of trying to be nice," she says. Meredith can count on one hand how many times she's heard this much ferocity in Lexie's voice. "George said you had a crappy day yesterday, so I tried to do something about it. I made you cookies. And I know it's stupid and sisterly, but for some reason, I thought it might make you happy. But Doctor Yang made it very clear that I need to stay out of your life because I'm a needy, annoying child who makes her own sister sick."

"Lexie," Meredith begins.

"I know what you're gonna say," Lexie says, cutting her off. "That I'm a very nice person, but you never wanted to know me because all I do is remind you that your dad left you." She swipes angrily at her watery eyes before continuing. "See, I kept hoping that would change. That if I could just try hard enough that maybe eventually you would start to like me. But no matter what I do, you just keep pushing me away. But I keep trying because I had this stupid fantasy that maybe someday we could actually have a relationship like real sisters. But clearly I was an idiot. Because you still hate me. And you don't even know how to let people that you like love you, let alone the half-sister that you don't even want."

"Lexie," Meredith tries again.

Lexie holds up her hand to stop Meredith.

"No, you know what?" she says angrily. "I had a really long day yesterday. And instead of going home and going to bed, I had to drive across town at midnight to pick up our dad from a bar because he was so wasted he couldn't even remember his own address. And after I finally got him cleaned up and into bed and got back to my place, I had three hours before I had to get back up again. I'm exhausted, Meredith. And I really don't have the energy to deal with you and Doctor Yang treating me like crap today. So let's just save us both some time and skip to the part where I walk away."

With that, she turns around and resumes her walk down the hallway. Meredith just stands there in shock as Lexie leaves. It was only the other day that Lexie cornered her in the bathroom and insisted that she was going to keep trying to love Meredith in spite of her failures. No matter how hard Meredith pushes, Lexie always seems to bounce back. But life seems to have finally pushed her to her breaking point. And somehow that actually bothers Meredith.

Lexie disappears around the corner, and Meredith sighs.

"Crap," she mutters.

She stands there awkwardly for a moment before shaking herself out of it and continuing down the hall to the cafeteria. It's surprisingly easy to spot Cristina in the crowded room. She's still grumpy, and her mood seems to be radiating outward. Meredith heads straight to the table and sits down.

"I just passed Lexie in the hall," she says. "She was really upset. What did you say to her?"

"Who says it was my fault?" Cristina asks without looking up from her book.

"She told me you said something," Meredith presses. "Now what did you say?"

"Nothing I haven't said before," Cristina says. "She was trying to be all sweet and sisterly. It was gross. She made you cookies, Mer. Actual homemade cookies."

"So you insulted her?" Meredith asks in amazement.

Cristina's eyes finally leave the page as she looks curiously over at Meredith.

"Why do you care?" she asks.

"Honestly, I don't know," Meredith says. Then she sighs. "No, I do know. I care because she's having a really hard time right now. And because she's sweet and smart, and while the idea of her existence makes me want to break something, I can't seem to hate her personally. And that's really infuriating because I want to hate her. I really do. But I can't."

Cristina is staring at Meredith as if a baby elephant has just fallen out of Meredith's mouth instead of a string of sentences.

"Look," Meredith says, putting both her hands on the table. "You want to be grumpy? Fine. You want to be mean to your interns? Have at it. But maybe you could try to be just a little nicer to Lexie."

Cristina's eyes widen even further.

"You're serious," she says in shock.

"I admit, I didn't want her here at first," Meredith explains. "Maybe I still don't. I don't really know. And I'm touched that you were so willing to hate her with me, but it's starting to get ridiculous."

"I don't pick on her for you," Cristina says indignantly. "I pick on her because she's annoying. Besides, I pick on all my interns."

Meredith leans forward across the table.

"Can you honestly tell me that you treat Lexie exactly the same as your other interns?" she asks. Cristina opens her mouth and then abruptly closes it again. Point made.

"I still don't know why you care," Cristina says grumpily as she returns her gaze to her book.

"Me neither," Meredith admits with a shake of her head. "But I do know that it's not Lexie's fault my dad left my mom. And she really is trying to be nice. As annoying as that can get. So could you please just try and curb the bloodshed a little?"

Cristina looks up with a glare.

"You can still pick on her," Meredith assures her. "Just don't go out of your way to pick on her more than the others. And stop making her feel bad for being related to me. Okay?"

Cristina continues to glare at her for a few seconds before giving in.

"Fine," she grumps.

"Thank you," Meredith says. She leans back in her chair and looks around the cafeteria, glad to finally have that out of her system. "So what's for lunch?"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The rest of Meredith's day is hectic, and by the time she finally gets to go home, she's almost forgotten about the events of this morning. But then she sees her cubby. More specifically, she sees the Ziploc bag of homemade M&M cookies sitting in her cubby. And then she remembers – Lexie made her cookies. She picks up the bag and studies the cookies inside. They're not perfectly round or anything, and the bottoms seem a little crispier than they should be. But they still look pretty good.

"George said they're your favorite," a small voice says from the doorway. Meredith turns around to see Lexie standing there. For once, she looks unsure. And that's Meredith's fault.

"They are," Meredith says. She looks back down at the cookies. "They look good."

"I hope they are," Lexie says awkwardly. "I made them from a box, so there wasn't much room to mess them up."

Meredith looks back up to see Lexie fidgeting with the strap on her bag.

"I told Cristina to ease up," Meredith blurts out. Lexie's eyebrows lift in surprise. "Nice isn't really her strong suit, but maybe she'll be a little more civil."

"Thanks," Lexie says. Her tone is still quiet, but it's a bit stronger than it was.

Meredith sighs.

"I don't hate you, Lexie," she admits. "But I have a lot of issues with Thatcher, and I tend to transfer those to you. Which isn't fair. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for treating you like crap."

"It's okay," Lexie says.

"No, it's not," Meredith tells her.

She looks down at the bag of cookies in her hand before turning around to face Lexie fully.

"Look," Meredith says seriously. "I'm not good at family. Especially family I never wanted. You're a nice person, Lexie. You really are. But your dad complicates things for me. It makes it really hard for me to be around you. And maybe someday that'll change. I don't know. But even if it does, I'll still probably never be this fantasy big sister you keep imagining. That's just not who I am. I don't know how to be a sister. I don't even know if I want to be. And that has nothing to do with you. I just don't know. But you constantly trying to push your way into my life makes me really uncomfortable. So I push back. And then I'm angry and you're hurt, and that's not fair to either one of us. So how about we both just agree to take a step back for a while? For now, let's see if we can just treat each other like colleagues. Keep it professional. And then we'll see what happens."

It sounds a little harsh, but Lexie doesn't look as crushed as Meredith expects. Just solemn.

"I can do that," Lexie says quietly. She hesitates briefly before hooking her thumb over her shoulder. "George is waiting for me, so I should probably go."

She starts to turn away again, but Meredith calls after her.

"Lexie?"

Lexie turns back around so quickly it's a wonder she doesn't get whiplash.

"Yeah?" she says hopefully.

Meredith pauses, fishing for something to say. She hadn't really meant to say anything. It had just come out. But now Lexie's standing there waiting expectantly for her to say something, and after what happened this morning, it needs to be something good. But Meredith's not good at this. Which, of course, is the whole reason they're in this mess to begin with.

She looks down at the cookies in her hand and then back up at Lexie.

"If you wanted to make me feel better, these were a good choice," she says.

It sounds lame as soon as it leaves her mouth, but Lexie actually smiles. It's not an open door by any means, although it's not a completely closed one either. It's a very careful crack for Lexie to peek through. And for right now, Lexie seems more than willing to make that be enough.

"Good," Lexie says in relief. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Meredith confirms. "See you tomorrow."

Lexie gives Meredith one last glimpse of her smile before she disappears around the doorframe, leaving Meredith standing there alone with a bag of cookies. Very delicious looking cookies. Meredith looks down at them and sighs. Maybe this sister thing wouldn't be totally terrible after all.

* * *

If you could spare a second to leave a review, I would be deeply grateful. Also, I'm going out of town this weekend, and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to update this story. So I might post the next chapter in two days like usual, or it might not be until Monday. Just in case it does take a while, I'll give you guys a teaser - the next chapter will be near the end of season five, and it involves the Grey sisters (obviously), Derek, breakfast, and a confession about being allergic to omelets. So there's that to look forward to. Thanks for reading!


	8. Times You Bend

Author's Note: My internet situation appears to be working out, so here's the next chapter of this story. Sorry about how short it is. I couldn't find a way to expand it without it feeling fake. So it stayed short. In season 4, there's an episode where Lexie has a bad day and Cristina takes her to Meredith's house where she spends the night. (Go reread the second chapter of this story if you don't remember that.) The next episode shows the next morning, and Meredith makes Lexie an omelet for breakfast. Lexie proceeds to eat said omelet without telling Meredith that she's allergic to eggs. I really wanted to see a scene where Meredith discovers Lexie's egg allergy and remembers that omelet. Hence this chapter. It's set somewhere later in season five after Lexie has moved in to Meredith's house. It's short, but cute. And hopefully a little funny. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers

* * *

 **Times You Bend _  
_**

It's Saturday morning, and Derek has decided that he's making breakfast. He's not sparing any expense either. There's bacon, biscuits (which admittedly came out of a can, but still), gravy, and eggs. Meredith can't help being mildly impressed.

Derek has just finished scrambling Meredith's eggs when Lexie comes down the stairs yawning and rubbing at her eyes.

"Morning," she says sleepily.

"Morning," Meredith says with a smile. She's sitting over at the bar where she's been watching Derek cook. Lexie pulls out the other chair and plops down beside her.

"Wow," she says, surveying the kitchen. The smell of bacon is in the air, and the pan of biscuits cooling on top of the stove only adds to the aroma. "This looks amazing."

"It's almost ready," Derek says warmly. He takes the skillet off the stove and scoops Meredith's eggs off onto a plate. "How do you like your eggs, Lexie?"

"Oh, I'm actually allergic to eggs," Lexie says with a wince. "Sorry."

"That's okay," Derek says. "No eggs it is."

"Or apples," Meredith says.

"You're allergic to apples?" Derek asks Lexie curiously.

"No, I just don't like them," Lexie explains.

"She doesn't think they should be a fruit," Meredith adds.

"Fair enough," Derek says as he carries the skillet and a handful of utensils over to the sink. "I don't think pomegranates should be a fruit. A fruit where you only eat the seeds? That's just weird."

"I know, right?" Lexie agrees.

"Hang on," Meredith says, suddenly sitting up straight. She looks over at Lexie suspiciously. "I made you an omelet. That time Cristina brought you home? I made you an omelet."

"And you ate it," Derek points out over his shoulder.

"You did," Meredith says. "Why didn't you say something?"

Lexie suddenly looks like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Derek said that you cooked for me," she explains nervously. "You made me an omelet because you were trying to be nice. It was the first time that you'd really been that nice. And I couldn't say no because what if you got offended and stopped being nice?"

"So you ate an omelet that you knew you were allergic to," Meredith finishes.

"And then I broke out in a rash," Lexie says sheepishly. "I had to ask Doctor Bailey where to find the epinephrine."

"That's pretty funny," Derek says with a chuckle.

"I think it's sweet," Meredith says. She smiles warmly over at Lexie, who tentatively smiles back.

"I don't know how you made it through that whole omelet," Derek says as he moves the freshly rinsed dishes into the dishwasher. "I couldn't finish mine, and I'm not allergic to eggs."

"They weren't that bad," Meredith says indignantly.

"They were terrible," Derek says. "Alex threw his away, and he never turns down food."

"Lexie?" Meredith asks, turning toward her sister. She's clearly hoping for some back-up, but Lexie pulls back a bit as if hoping she can melt into the stool.

"They were pretty bad," she admits.

"There, you see?" Derek says triumphantly. "And yet your poor sister ate one anyway just to make you happy. And because of her deep love for you, she broke out in a rash."

"I'm sorry, Lex," Meredith says. But there's laughter in her voice.

"See?" Derek says. "It's funny."

"It's fine," Lexie tells Meredith. "Just as long as you don't make me eat anymore omelets."

"Fine," Meredith agrees. "I'll just let Derek make breakfast from now on."

"I won't argue with that," Lexie says with a grin.

"Speaking of breakfast," Meredith says, turning back around to face the bar and Derek. "Are you done yet?"

"Let me check on the bacon, and then I think breakfast is served," Derek tells her.

"Good," Lexie says. "The smell is making me hungry."

"Me too," Meredith says.

She looks over at Lexie salivating over the sight of the biscuits, and a fond smile crosses her face. Then Lexie turns her head in Meredith's direction. Her forehead creases in confusion as she sees Meredith staring.

"What?" Lexie asks with a nervous laugh.

"Nothing," Meredith says, shaking her head. "Just that you're a good sister."

The words bring a smile to Lexie's face.

"So are you," she says honestly.

"And I promise that I will never again make you eat another avocado omelet," Meredith says with as straight a face as she can manage.

Lexie just laughs.

* * *

Yes, I know it was short. But could you please leave a review anyway? Pretty please? I promise the next chapter will be longer. And it has Meredith and Lexie talking about Lexie's mom, since that's another conversation I always wanted to see. So come back in a couple days to check that out. Thanks for reading!


	9. Times You're Healing

Author's Note: Before Lexie comes into the show, her mother makes a lot of effort to reach out to Meredith. Meredith even admits to Lexie that she was very fond of Susan. In light of that, I really wanted to see the Grey sisters talking about Lexie's mom. This chapter looks at the second anniversary of Susan's death. Sometimes it's a little hard to tell how time passes in this show, so I'm personally placing this chapter at the end of season 5. Although it could also be at some point in season 6. Basically all that matters is that it happens while Lexie is living at Meredith's house. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Saturn" by Sleeping At Last

* * *

 **Times You're Healing _  
_**

Today was hectic. No, it was beyond hectic. It was absolutely, certifiably insane. Somehow they all made it through, but now they're totally exhausted. After dinner is over, the residents of the house slowly trickle upstairs for some warm showers and much needed rest. Meredith has just finished loading the dishwasher and is about to head upstairs as well when she happens to catch sight of Lexie sitting outside on the porch swing with her legs pulled up to her chest. Now that Meredith thinks about it, Lexie was remarkably quiet tonight. Meredith's still pretty new to this whole big sister thing, but she knows enough to realize that she should probably go check on Lexie.

She grabs two beers out of the fridge and heads out onto the porch. Lexie looks up briefly as the door opens and closes.

"Hey," Meredith says. "Mind if I join you?"

She holds up the two bottles in her hands as a sort of peace offering.

"Sure," Lexie says with a nod.

She drops her legs off the bench and scoots over a bit even though there's plenty of room. Meredith passes Lexie one of the bottles as she sits down on the swing.

"Thanks," Lexie says, taking the bottle.

She lifts it and takes a long drink before lowering it into her lap. Then she tilts her head back to stare up quietly at the stars. Meredith does the same. There aren't too many visible thanks to all the light pollution, but a handful of the brighter ones are still there against the dark sky. It's a cool and quiet night. Incredibly peaceful. Part of Meredith would be perfectly content to just sit here in silence with her sister. But Lexie looks almost sad as she stares up at the twinkling stars.

"You were pretty quiet tonight," Meredith says in an effort to start conversation. She hasn't really had much time to talk to Lexie lately. Maybe this is her chance.

"Yeah," Lexie admits. She looks down at her beer bottle as her finger begins tracing patterns in the condensation.

"Any particular reason?" Meredith asks carefully.

Lexie is quiet for a second, her eyes intently focused on her idle art.

"My mom," she says finally. "She died two years ago today."

Meredith could smack herself for not remembering. She had known that day was coming up soon, but somehow she hadn't realized just how soon.

"I'm sorry," she says honestly. Lexie just nods. "How are you doing?"

"Well, I haven't cried yet, so that's better than last year," Lexie says with forced levity. "There was a lot of crying. George is sweet and all, but he didn't really know what to do with it."

"If you need to cry, I promise I can take it," Meredith says. She's rewarded by a small but genuine smile from Lexie.

"I'm okay," Lexie says, finally looking up from the bottle. "It's been two years."

"That doesn't mean you miss her any less," Meredith says gently. Lexie looks back down at the bottle, her smile fading.

"I do miss her," she says honestly.

Meredith glances down at her own beer bottle as if it will somehow provide her with the right words to say in this situation.

"Your mom was an amazing person," she says finally, looking back up at Lexie. "There's not many women who would encourage their husbands to reconnect with the child from his first marriage."

"She thought you were pretty amazing too," Lexie says. She glances over at Meredith with a faint smile. "She called me a few times after talking to you. She kept talking about how you were so smart and talented and how great it was that we were both going to be doctors."

Meredith is surprised to find just how much that means to her. She's long regretted never having the chance to repay Susan's kindness. To make up for how hard Meredith had resisted at the beginning. But maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe Susan somehow knew everything she wanted to say.

"She bought me groceries after my mom died," Meredith says suddenly. "Several times. I would come home, and there they were. And there she was. It was a little weird, but also kinda sweet."

Lexie's in the middle of taking a drink, but she nods her head enthusiastically.

"She did that for me a few times while I was in med school," she says once she's put the bottle back down. "Sometimes when I had a really bad week she would fly out to Harvard without telling me. I'd come back from class and she would've restocked the fridge and cleaned up the apartment and done my laundry." She chuckles a little before adding, "My roommates loved it."

"I bet they did," Meredith says with a smile.

"One of my roommates started leaving her laundry in my basket just in case," Lexie says. "It used to make me so mad because I always ended up washing half her clothes by accident. Then my mom found out about it, and on her next trip, she offered to do everyone's laundry."

"Really?" Meredith asks.

"That was just how she was," Lexie says with a shrug. "She was always there for everybody. She never asked anybody to do anything for her. It was always for someone else." She looks down at her beer bottle, her eyes suddenly moist. "She did so much for me. I should've thanked her more."

"You were happy," Meredith says. "That was thanks enough for her."

"You think so?" Lexie asks softly.

"I know it," Meredith says. Lexie nods in acceptance, but she's still looking down. Meredith shakes her head as she thinks back on Susan Grey. "I wish I could've known her better."

"So do I," Lexie admits. She glances over at Meredith and then back down at her bottle. "She called me that morning. I was worried about her being in the hospital, but she kept saying not to worry, that she was gonna be fine. She just wanted to talk about me. About how I was doing." She swallows hard. "The next thing I knew, my dad was calling me in tears saying that she was gone. It was just so fast. I never even got to tell her good-bye. Or how much I loved her."

The regret in Lexie's voice causes Meredith to reach out and pull her into a side hug. Lexie exhales heavily as she leans into Meredith. She reaches up with one hand and wipes at her eyes, trying to stop a few stray tears from escaping.

"Your mom was a smart person," Meredith says as she rests her cheek against the top of Lexie's head. "She knew you loved her. And I know she loved you."

Lexie nods into her shoulder. They sit there in silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally Lexie sits back up and Meredith lets her pull away. Lexie wipes her reddened eyes with her free hand to erase any trace of tears.

"You okay?" Meredith asks.

"Yeah," Lexie says honestly. She smiles over at Meredith to prove it. "I just wish she was here."

On a sudden impulse, Meredith picks up her beer bottle and holds it up.

"To Susan Grey," she says. "The kindest woman I have ever met."

"And the best mom I could've asked for," Lexie adds, holding up her own bottle.

They clink their bottles together and both take a long drink. After they lower their bottles, Lexie's gaze drifts back up to the night sky. A hint of a smile tugs at her lips.

"My mom used to love the stars," she says as she studies the twinkling lights. "Sometimes we would go lay in the backyard, and she would tell me the names of all the constellations and all the stories about them. Molly usually got bored after a while, but me… I always wanted those nights to last forever. Sometimes looking at the stars makes me feel closer to her. That's why I came out here." She glances over at Meredith with a nervous laugh. "That probably sounds crazy."

"It doesn't," Meredith assures her. She pauses for a moment, trying to decide if she should say what she's about to. Finally she decides to just go with it. "Surgery was my mother's first love. I think that's part of why I first decided to be a surgeon. It finally gave me a way into her world. Sometimes when I'm in the OR it feels like she's still here somehow."

"I get that," Lexie says.

The longing look on her face causes Meredith to make a snap decision. She tucks her right leg up under her and turns so that she's sitting nearly sideways on the bench.

"So what sort of stories would your mom tell you?" she asks.

Part of her is just asking because talking about it might help Lexie, but another part of her really does want to know.

Lexie's eyes search the sky for a moment before she points up at a group of stars.

"See the Big Dipper?" she asks.

Meredith follows Lexie's finger up toward the sky.

"Yeah," Meredith says. "Isn't it supposed to be a bear or something?"

"Right," Lexie says. "Officially it's called Ursa Major. The big bear. And the Little Dipper over there is Ursa Minor. The little bear."

"Like Big Grey and Little Grey," Meredith says.

"Yeah," Lexie agrees with a laugh. "Ursa Major's interesting because a lot of different culture around the world saw it as the same thing – a bear."

Meredith squints and tilts her head.

"I still don't see it," she says.

"Me neither," Lexie admits.

Meredith glances over at her sister and is pleasantly surprised to see a smile on Lexie's face. Lexie looks briefly over at Meredith with that bright smile before returning her attention to the stars.

"The Romans had this crazy story about Ursa Major," Lexie says. She pulls her legs up under her as she settles in for the story. "See, the god Jupiter, who was like the Roman version of Zeus, he fell in love with a woman named Callisto."

Meredith puts her right arm on the back of the bench and rests her head against her hand as she watches Lexie's animated face come alive with the story. Susan would've liked this, Meredith decides. Her daughter and stepdaughter both sitting here together under the stars. Susan may not have been Meredith's mother, but in the short time they knew one another, she came to hold a special place in Meredith's heart. And Meredith can't imagine a better way than this to honor her memory.

* * *

If you liked it, please review. And a huge thanks to everyone who has already reviewed. Please keep it up. Your feedback means a lot to me. The next chapter will be one of the most directly tied to the show. It looks at the immediate aftermath of Lexie's bathroom breakdown in 6x17. The scene cut before we could see Meredith's reaction, so I've written my own version of what that might have looked like. Come back in a few days to check it out. Thanks for reading!


	10. Times Your Heart Breaks

Author's Note: Around the middle of season six, Lexie breaks up with Mark due to complications in their relationship caused by the arrival of Mark's teenage daughter. Lexie seems to have very little trouble moving on because she immediately starts up a relationship with Alex. However, in episode seventeen, Mark starts trying to date Teddy. When Lexie realizes that he truly is moving on, she ends up having a breakdown in the hospital bathroom. Meredith is present for the beginning of said breakdown, but the scene changes before we get to see how she reacted. This chapter is my take on how that might have gone down. I've gone through several rewrites of this chapter, and I'm still not entirely sure if I'm happy with it. In some ways it seems almost too emotional. But, to be fair, Lexie had been in almost total denial of her emotions for a decent period of time, so it makes sense that it would all hit her pretty hard. Either way, I'm tired of reworking this scene, so here it is. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Fix You" by Coldplay

* * *

 **Times Your Heart Breaks _  
_**

If Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital were a baseball pitcher, its signature throw would be the curveball. Every time Meredith thinks she's finally got things figured out, something goes completely sideways. One minute she's drying her hands in an empty bathroom, and the next minute Lexie is having an emotional breakdown on the tile a few feet away. Meredith knew something was wrong from the look on her sister's face. But the speed with which Lexie comes apart surprises Meredith almost as much as the knowledge that she's crumbling because of Mark Sloan. One shaky breath is all it takes for the whole house of cards to come crashing down.

In hindsight, Meredith probably should've seen this coming. Lexie had been insanely in love with Mark, and she never really dealt with their break-up. Instead, she dyed her hair and threw herself into a physical relationship with Alex that she keeps insisting is making her happy. But she's never really let herself deal with the emotional fallout of leaving Mark. Which, Meredith realizes, is probably why this is all hitting her so hard now. In spite of all her fervent denial, some part of Lexie has been holding out hope that she and Mark can still salvage things. But now that ship has sailed. And Lexie has finally come out of her denial just in time to realize that it left without her.

The sound of sharp inhales pulls Meredith from her thoughts. Lexie's starting to hyperventilate. Meredith drops her paper towel into the trashcan and crosses the tile floor to where Lexie is still kneeling. Lexie has lowered her knee to the floor, and her reddened eyes are locked on the tile as she struggles to catch her breath. She doesn't look up as Meredith kneels in front of her. Her bowed head makes it easy to see the dark roots marching along the top of it, a series of expanding cracks in a carefully constructed façade that has finally begun to crumble.

"Lexie," Meredith says in an effort to get her attention.

Lexie's eyes jerk up to meet Meredith's. She hasn't started panicking yet, but she's headed that direction. Her gasps are becoming louder and louder, her whole chest constricting as her lungs search desperately for air.

"You have to calm down," Meredith instructs.

"I can't," Lexie wheezes. Each syllable requires its own painful exhale to get out. Months of repressed emotion are finally hitting her all at once, and the shock is too much for her body to handle.

"Yes, you can," Meredith says.

Lexie shakes her head as words fail her. Her watery eyes are growing wider as she realizes just how little oxygen her straining lungs are getting. There aren't any paper bags in here, so Meredith is going to have to do this one old school. She reaches out and takes Lexie's damp face in her hands, using her thumbs to brush the tears away from Lexie's flushed cheeks. The burning need for air has temporarily overridden the emotional pain, so the crying seems to have stopped for the moment. Lexie's hands come up and take hold of Meredith's arms just below her elbows as she desperately tries to anchor herself. Her eyes are locked on Meredith's now, silently begging her to make it stop.

"I'm right here," Meredith says firmly. "I'm with you, and I've got you, and it's gonna be okay. I can get you through this. But you have to work with me. Okay?"

Lexie forces a nod even as another painful gasp claws its way out of her lungs. Her whole body is trembling as she fights for air. Her hands tighten their grip, her fingers digging into Meredith's arms. She's scared, but her wide eyes are also filled with trust. She trusts Meredith to fix this. At another time, that knowledge might have shocked Meredith into silence. But right now she's too worried about Lexie.

"Focus on my breathing," Meredith says.

She takes an exaggerated inhale and then exhales in the same manner. Lexie's chest shudders as she tries to match the action.

"Good," Meredith tells her. "In." Pointed inhale. "And out." Big exhale. "There you go. Again."

Lexie's entire body tenses up as she tries to force her breathing to slow down. Meredith keeps her own breathing audible so Lexie can match it. And little by little, it starts to work. The wheezes coming out of Lexie's mouth begin to sound more and more human. Air starts to reach her lungs, and her hands very slowly ease their grip until she's no longer threatening to cut off Meredith's circulation.

"That's it," Meredith encourages. She uses her fingers to gently smooth two cascades of blonde hair out of Lexie's face and behind her ears. "Keep going. Deep breaths."

The bathroom falls silent save for the sound of Lexie's gasping breathes gradually calming down. As the seconds tick by, the sharp inhales begin to be replaced by occasional pained whimpers. Finally Lexie manages to match Meredith's every inhale and exhale. But as her breathing slows, the crying begins anew. Hot tears spill over Meredith's thumbs as Lexie's shoulders start to tremble for a completely different reason. Meredith lowers her hands from Lexie's damp face to her shoulders in an effort to steady her.

"Meredith," Lexie finally chokes. Her throat is scratchy from the lack of air, and she's crying too hard to say anything more than that one word. But she doesn't have to.

"I know," Meredith tells her. "I've been where you are, and I know how much it hurts. It feels like you'll never be okay again. But you will."

Lexie nods weakly. Then her eyes squeeze shut as another sob rocks her frame. Meredith pulls Lexie toward her and into a tight hug. Lexie presses her face into Meredith's shoulder, effectively muffling her sobs. Her hands clutch tightly at the front of Meredith's scrubs like a drowning woman clinging to a lifeline as she rides out the emotional storm.

Meredith wants to say something, anything to make this better, but she has no idea what that might be. On one hand, she understands all too well the heartache Lexie is experiencing. It's a pain Meredith wouldn't wish upon anyone, let alone her little sister. On the other hand, this is partially Lexie's fault. She was the one who ended things. Granted, it was a highly complicated situation that came out of nowhere, and Meredith doesn't blame her for backing out, at least for a while. But if Lexie wanted Mark back, then she should've done something about it. But sitting on the bathroom floor with Lexie sobbing in Meredith's arms is neither the time nor the place for "I told you so." Right now Lexie needs Meredith to just be there. So that's what Meredith is going to do.

Lexie's tears gradually slow down, and her grip on Meredith's scrubs relaxes. By the time the waterworks trickle to a halt, Lexie's whole body is limp with exhaustion. She rests her forehead against Meredith's damp shoulder as she takes one weary breath after another. Meredith can feel each shuddery rise and fall of Lexie's chest. She knows from experience what that kind of crying does to a person. And she still remembers the swimming headache that serves as a hangover for disrupting the brain's oxygen flow for so long. Meredith may have walked out of her supply closet the second she was calm enough, but she hadn't wanted to. Not at all. So if Lexie's not ready to move just yet, then that's fine with Meredith. True, her legs aren't exactly in the most comfortable position, and the cold, hard tile certainly isn't helping her circulation. But for Lexie, she can make it work just a little longer.

A sudden voice just outside the bathroom door causes Lexie to tense up as she waits to see if they're about to be discovered. But then the person moves on, and Lexie relaxes again. However, the moment has served to remind both she and Meredith that they're sitting on the floor of a hospital bathroom where anyone could walk in at any moment.

"We can't stay here forever," Meredith points out.

Lexie takes a deep breath and lets it out before forcing herself to pull away. Meredith watches her carefully as she swipes at her red eyes. Her cheeks are streaked with tearstains, and her inhales are still a bit shuddery. Her shoulders are slumped in battered exhaustion. And then there are her eyes. She looks utterly heartbroken. Seeing her little sister in this much pain makes Meredith want to march out of this bathroom, find Mark Sloan, and throttle him. Unfortunately, that's not the adult thing to do. But that doesn't stop Meredith from thinking about it for one dangerously long second.

"Why can't I just let him go?" Lexie asks sadly.

"I don't know," Meredith admits. It's a lame answer, but Lexie seems willing to accept it.

"Well…" Lexie trails off as she rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands. Then she drops them dejectedly into her lap. "What am I supposed to do?"

That question Meredith can answer.

"Right now," she says in a no-nonsense tone, "you're going to get off this floor, and you're going to pull yourself together. Then you and I are going to go home, and we're going to sit on my bed and watch a really crappy movie. And while we do, we're going to eat ice-cream until we're both sick, and you are going to do whatever crying you have left. And when you run out of tears and ice-cream, you're gonna go to bed. And when you get up tomorrow, the world is going to be a little bit brighter. Okay?"

Meredith isn't completely sure where that little speech came from, but it seems to work because Lexie nods weakly.

"Okay," she whispers.

Meredith pushes herself up to a standing position (which takes far more effort than it should, thanks to her stiff legs), and holds out her hands to help pull Lexie up. Once Lexie is vertical, Meredith steps over to the paper towel dispenser. She pulls out two of the scratchy white squares and takes them over to the sink, where she folds them up and runs cool water over them. Then she hands them to Lexie. Lexie runs the damp paper towels over her face, erasing most of the evidence of her breakdown. Her swollen eyes are still a dead giveaway, but there's not really anything to be done about that.

"Ready?" Meredith asks once Lexie has thrown away the paper towels.

In answer, Lexie glances over at the door and then back at Meredith with pleading eyes.

"I can't go back out there," she says, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Yes, you can," Meredith tells her.

Lexie shakes her head, and her next inhale is quicker than it should be. If Meredith were a different sort of person, a fluffier and less twisty one, she might be willing to back off. But Meredith isn't that person. She's a realist, and she knows that Lexie can't stay in here forever. Sooner or later Lexie will have to go and face the world, no matter how painful that may be. And with that in mind, Meredith doesn't see much point in coddling. Maybe that's not very sisterly of her, but there it is. The world is still out there, whether Lexie is ready for it or not. And Meredith isn't going to pretend otherwise just to make Lexie feel better. But what she will do is pick Lexie up, dust her off, and give her the push she needs to go back out there and try again. And maybe, just maybe, that's sisterly too, in a tough love sort of way.

"You can do this," Meredith says firmly. "Because you are Little Grey. And that means you have a bigger Grey behind you. I've got your back, Lexie." A fond smile pulls up the corners of her mouth. "You're my Little Grey, remember?"

That draws a watery chuckle from Lexie. The point has hit home. Lexie gaze darts away as she wipes her damp eyes one final time. She takes a deep breath, lets it out, squares her shoulders, and looks back up. Her eyes are still red, but otherwise she's managing to hold herself together.

"Ready?" Meredith asks again.

"As I'll ever be," Lexie says honestly.

"Good enough for me," Meredith says.

She holds out her hand, and after the briefest of hesitations, Lexie grips it tightly. Together they push open the door and step back out into the world.

* * *

Like I said, still not completely sure how I feel about that. Leave a review and let me know your thoughts. Please and thank you. The next chapter should be up in a couple days as per usual. Thanks for reading!


	11. Times You've Fallen From Grace

Author's Note: In season 8, Lexie works alongside Derek in neurosurgery. Meredith has stepped away from neuro to try and save her marriage with Derek, but he lures her back to watch a surgery in episode seventeen. Derek then has to step out in the middle, so he leaves things in the hands of Lexie and Meredith. While he's gone, Meredith decides to let Lexie roll two simple surgeries into one. In the process, however, Lexie accidentally damages part of the patient's brain and takes away her ability to talk. Derek is absolutely furious with both of them, and Lexie is distraught. Meredith gives Lexie a quick pep talk on facing Derek, but I really wanted them to have another scene after that where Meredith could patch up Lexie's confidence a bit. During Meredith's voice over at the end of the episode, Lexie is shown in an on-call room and she's visibly upset. This chapter takes place right after that brief shot. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Medicine" by Daughter

* * *

 **Times You've Fallen From Grace _  
_**

Assisting Lexie on a brain surgery, even if it is a simple one, is amazing. The Grey sisters in action together. It's like everything Meredith never knew she wanted. And for one brief moment, she really does consider coming back to neuro. Doing this every day with both her husband and her sister would be nothing short of incredible. But then it all goes terribly, horribly wrong. What should be a bonus on a simple surgery turns into a colossal nightmare. Meredith feels bad enough right there. Knowing that Derek blames her, and that she deserves it, is crushing. But the worst part by far is telling Lexie. The heartbroken look on her face as she realizes what she's done is like twisting a knife in Meredith's chest. And then watching Derek yell at Lexie and beat her over the head with her failure when she's clearly already beating herself up enough for both of them… Meredith just needs for this day to be over.

Derek barely says a word to her on their way home. He spends the whole drive talking very intently to Zola instead. And when they get to the house, he heads straight up the stairs with Zola in his arms, leaving Meredith standing awkwardly at the bottom.

She walks herself over to the couch and sits down while she tries to figure out what to do now. She should probably eat something, but she's not hungry. Not after what happened today. And going upstairs probably isn't a good idea just yet. Giving Derek some time alone with Zola might help him to calm down a little bit. The only other thing that Meredith can think to do is to check on Lexie. Her shift isn't over yet, so it'll be a while before she comes home. And she could probably use some sisterly support right about now.

Meredith pulls out her phone and dials Lexie's number. It only rings twice before Lexie picks up.

"Hello?" she says hoarsely.

"Hey," Meredith says. "How you doing?"

"I've been better," Lexie says. Her voice sounds thick like she's been crying.

"You hiding in an on-call room?" Meredith asks sympathetically. She adjusts her position, pulling her legs up onto the couch to get more comfortable. Lexie sighs heavily on the other end of the line.

"How'd you know?" she asks.

"It's where I'd be," Meredith says.

"Great minds think alike," Lexie says wearily. Normally it would sound almost funny, but right now her voice is too drained for the expression to carry any real pep.

"Something like that," Meredith agrees. Silence falls for a moment as she tries to think of something to say. "Rough day, huh?"

"Yeah," Lexie manages. There comes a small noise that sounds suspiciously like a sniff. "I just keep thinking about Lori. This morning she was telling me this stupid story about a job interview, and now she'll never tell that story again. If I hadn't been reckless, if I had just stopped to think for one second, she would still be able to talk. But now she can't, and it's because of me. She'll never be able to say her wedding vows or tell her parents that she loves them. She can't talk on the phone like this. She can't even have a basic conversation. And it's my fault."

"It's not just yours," Meredith tells her. "I should've stopped you."

"But I was the one operating," Lexie says. "I'm the one that damaged her brain."

"I've been a doctor longer," Meredith counters. "I should've known better."

"You're just trying to make me feel better," Lexie says. Her voice trembles slightly as she says it.

"Maybe," Meredith admits. "Is it working?"

She knows how hard Lexie is on herself. This has to be killing her. And if Meredith taking the blame will alleviate some of that pain, then she's more than willing to do it.

"No," Lexie says in a watery voice. "But thanks for trying."

There comes a sharp inhale and a stuttering exhale on the other end of the line. Lexie is either crying or dangerously close. Meredith closes her eyes briefly as she tries to figure out what to do.

"It's okay to be upset, Lex," she says quietly. "Today was a really, really bad day. It's okay to cry about it."

"I'm not crying," Lexie says. Her voice betrays her though. It's thick and watery, and now Meredith can hear her sniffling. Only then does Meredith remember explicitly telling Lexie not to cry earlier. She'd meant just not to cry in front of Derek, but as usual, Lexie seems to have taken Meredith's words further than Meredith intended.

"But if you are, that's okay," Meredith says, trying to remedy that particular mistake.

"I'm not," Lexie insists. They both know she's lying. Her breathing has gotten shaky enough that Meredith can clearly make out every inhale and exhale. But she doesn't have the heart to call Lexie on it.

"I know this is hard," Meredith says instead. "And right now it feels like the end of the world. But it's not. You're going to learn from this, and you're going to move on."

Lexie sniffs loudly on the other end.

"Derek's never going to forgive me," she chokes.

"Yes, he will," Meredith assures her. "He's going to be pissed for a while, and he probably won't let you near a surgery for a few days. But eventually he will forgive you. You're a good surgeon." Lexie makes a disbelieving noise on the other end, and Meredith hurries on. "You are. You're a good surgeon who made a mistake. Derek knows that. And in time, he will forgive you."

"How am I supposed to do another surgery after this?" Lexi asks in a steadier voice. "How am I supposed to cut into somebody's brain knowing that I could ruin their life?"

"By reminding yourself that if you do it right, you might also save their life," Meredith says. "Yes, the brain is incredibly complex, and that makes it very easy to damage. Neurosurgery can be incredibly risky. But somebody has to do it. And it might as well be you. I know you may not believe this right now, but you are good at this. Really, really good."

"I took away a woman's ability to talk," Lexie protests. The tears are back in her voice again.

"You made a mistake," Meredith says simply. "A brutal mistake with tragic consequences, but it was still a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes at some point. It's how we learn. And you can't let this one mistake destroy you. You have to find a way to distance yourself from it. Learn from it, and move on. I know that sounds cruel and uncaring, but it's true. You have in you the potential to be an amazing neurosurgeon. But if you want to get there, then you can't let this one mistake define you. You have to find a way to get past it."

"I'm trying," Lexie says in a shaky voice.

"I know," Meredith tells her. "And you'll get there. It's just going to take some time."

The sound of Zola's voice drifts down the stairs. Derek probably won't keep her up for much longer, seeing as it's already well past her bedtime.

"I need to go put Zola to bed," Meredith says into the phone. "Are you gonna be okay? I can call back after if you want."

There's a slight rustling noise on the other end of the call. Probably Lexie using her free hand to wipe away the tears that have spilled during this conversation.

"You don't have to," Lexie says. "I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" Meredith presses.

"I'm a Grey, remember?" Lexie says with just the smallest hint of humor. It brings a small smile to Meredith's face. Maybe she really will be okay.

"Yes, you are," Meredith agrees. She almost says good-bye right there, but instead she changes it to, "Hey, Lex?"

"Yeah?" Lexie asks.

"I'm proud of you," Meredith says. There's total silence on the other end of the line, so Meredith keeps going. "I know you made a mistake today. But you owned it, and you faced Derek, and you held it together. And the Lexie from four years ago couldn't have done that. You've grown up a lot. You took a hard situation, and you handled it with professionalism and maturity. And I'm proud of you. I know I don't say it very often, but I am."

By the time Meredith finishes, Lexie's breathing has become quick and shuddery. Then a muffled sob comes through the phone. She's definitely crying now.

"Lexie?" Meredith asks in concern.

"Thank you," Lexie chokes, her voice thick with tears. There's another muffled sob. "Today was really, really terrible, and I just…" Lexie trails off briefly as she gets too emotional to talk. Meredith hears a sharp inhale and exhale as Lexie tries to pull herself together. "Thank you."

"I mean it," Meredith says strongly. "I'm proud of you. And I love you."

"I love you too," Lexie tells her in a watery voice. She sighs heavily, and when she speaks again, her voice is steadier. "Tell Zola good night for me."

"I will," Meredith promises. "Get some sleep, okay?"

"I'll try," Lexie says. That's really the most Meredith can hope for at this point.

"Good night, Lex," Meredith tells her.

"Night," Lexie says wearily.

The phone clicks, signaling that Lexie has hung up. Meredith pulls the phone away from her ear and stares down at it for a moment. Then she looks up in the direction of the stairs. With a heavy sigh, she slides the phone into her pocket and stands to her feet. Lexie is hurting, but she'll be okay. Now it's time for Meredith to try and help Derek.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

* * *

Imaginary cookies for anyone who reviews. Please, please, please do it. Otherwise I feel like I'm just writing to the wall. And that's not any fun. The next chapter will go back to season four, and it features the quote from the prologue that Meredith remembers telling to Lexie. (It's in italics near the bottom if you don't remember it.) So basically it's what spurs Meredith's trip down memory lane. And in case you're wondering, there will be one more scene at the very end of this story that goes back to Meredith after Lexie's funeral. But there's still a fair number of chapters left before we get there. Thanks for reading!


	12. Times You're Hurting

Author's Note: This chapter takes place late in season four. Since Lexie's mother dies at the end of season three, I think she would still be coming to terms with that during season four. And since Meredith lost her own mother not long before that, I think the memory of grieving would be fresh enough in Meredith's mind that seeing Lexie in pain over losing her own mother might cause Meredith to be a tad more protective of Lexie than she normally was at their point in their relationship. Plus I couldn't get the idea of Meredith finding Lexie in a supply closet out of my head. So this chapter was born. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "For My Help" by Hayden Calnin

* * *

 **Times You're Hurting _  
_**

One of the problems with working in a hospital, at least in Meredith's mind, is that there are constantly people everywhere. If you need a moment of quiet or if something bad happens, there's really nowhere you can go to be alone. People have to get a bit creative if they want space. So it probably shouldn't surprise her that much when she goes into a supply closet one morning and finds Lexie sitting against the wall between two sets of shelves. It shouldn't surprise her, but it does. Lexie, however, barely even reacts. She doesn't jump to her feet or rush to offer a stumbling explanation. She just looks up at Meredith and then back down at the floor.

"What are you doing in here?" Meredith asks in surprise. "Bailey's looking for you."

"I know," Lexie says wearily. "I just needed a minute."

"Well, your minute's over," Meredith says as she turns to the shelf and pulls out some fresh bandages. "The ER is crazy right now. They need all the help they can get."

"I'll be right there," Lexie says without any real conviction.

"Look," Meredith says, turning back around. "I don't know what you're pouting about, but you're here to learn how to be a doctor. And you can't do that sitting on the floor. So get up and-"

"It's my mom's birthday," Lexie says quietly.

That gives Meredith pause. She remembers Lexie mentioning that Susan's birthday was in March, but she never knew exactly when it was. This will be the first one since Susan's passing. And if the dazed look on Lexie's face is any indication, she's taking it pretty hard.

"I'm sorry," Meredith says. It sounds weak, but she doesn't really know what else to say.

Lexie doesn't say anything. In fact, she doesn't react at all. So Meredith tries again.

"The important days are the worst," she says. "If you can just push through today, tomorrow it'll be easier. And in time, it'll start to hurt less."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Lexie says to the floor. She puts her right elbow up on her knee and rests her forehead against her hand as if she's too tired to hold it up.

"Well, it's true," Meredith tells her. "I would know."

Lexie finally looks up with mild interest in her eyes.

"You never talk about her," she says carefully. "Your mom."

She looks unsure if she's even allowed to bring up the subject. And it certainly is a touchy one. But touchy or no, Lexie is going through something Meredith understands all too well. And the woman Lexie's mourning meant something to Meredith too. Even so, Meredith hesitates before finally setting the bandages back on the shelf. Then she lowers herself to the floor so she's sitting next to Lexie.

"There's not really much to tell," she says with a shrug. "Ellis- my mom wasn't really the most motherly person. She fed me and clothed me and pushed me to be extraordinary. At least until she got Alzheimer's and forgot who I was. And then she died. That's pretty much all there was to it."

"I'm sorry," Lexie says. She sounds like she means it too.

"Look," Meredith says, resting her arms on top of her knees and joining her hands together. "My mother may not have been as loving as yours, but she was still my mother. And I still miss her. So I understand what you're feeling. And I can tell you from experience that it really will get better."

"How did you get through it?" Lexie asks.

"By trying to remember the good instead of the bad," Meredith tells her. "Every time it hits you that she's gone, try and remember something good that you had because of her. It won't make it stop hurting, but it will make you glad for the time you had."

Lexie's brow furrows as she thinks it over. Then it smoothes out and she nods.

"Thanks," she says quietly.

Instead of answering, Meredith looks up above her head at the shelf where she set the bandages and then back over at Lexie.

"You should probably get back out there," she points out.

"Right," Lexie says.

She shifts her legs and starts getting to her feet. Meredith does the same. When they're both standing, Meredith scoops up the bandages she originally came in here to get. Then she heads for the door. Lexie follows behind her without a word.

The chaos of the ER assaults their ears the second Meredith opens the door. There's been a huge fire in an office building a few blocks away, and the burn victims have finally come flooding it. Doctors and interns are hurrying back and forth across the floor trying to cover as many patients as they can. And in the middle of it all, holding a clipboard and giving orders, is Doctor Bailey. She turns around just as Meredith and Lexie come up behind her. And she does not look pleased.

"Dr. Grey, where have you been?" she asks, rounding on Lexie. Then, realizing that there are two Greys standing in front of her, she waves Meredith away with her hand. "Not you. The other one."

Lexie opens her mouth to begin floundering for an answer, but Meredith beats her to it.

"I sent her for bandages," she says with as much conviction as she can manage. Which is actually quite a lot. She holds up the bandages in her hand as proof.

Bailey's eyebrow raises in silent question. She's not buying this at all.

"Bandages," she says flatly. Her tone makes it clear that this is not a question, but rather one last chance for Meredith to give up the truth. But now Lexie is looking over at Meredith with those big, worried eyes silently begging for help. This is most definitely not the time to call a retreat.

"Bandages," Meredith repeats.

Bailey looks at them both through narrowed eyes. Meredith puts on her best innocent face and hopes to heaven that Lexie won't crack under the pressure. But then somebody across the ER screams. Apparently the sound makes Bailey decide there are bigger fish than a missing intern.

"Well, as you two can see, it's a madhouse in here," she says, waving her arms to encompass the whole ER. When neither of the sisters moves, Bailey holds up her clipboard as if to hit them. "Scoot!"

Lexie jumps and turns around as fast as she can. Meredith does the same, albeit at a slightly slower pace, and together they start off in the opposite direction.

"Thank you," Lexie mouths.

"Doctor Grey?" Bailey's voice suddenly calls.

Lexie gulps as she and Meredith both turn back around. Bailey rolls her eyes as she once again finds herself face to face with two Greys.

"Not you," she says, waving Lexie off. "The other one."

Lexie turns back around and hurries off across the ER toward where Cristina is simultaneously tending to a patient and harassing a herd of interns. Meredith has to admire her multitasking skills.

"We have to find a way to tell you two apart," Bailey says when Meredith reaches her.

"I agree," Meredith says.

Bailey just shakes her head. Then she glances down at the bandages in Meredith's hand, and her eyes narrow.

"Bandages?" she says drily as she looks back up. "That was the best you could come up with?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Meredith says innocently.

"Of course you don't," Bailey says. Her raised eyebrow is practically screaming with disbelief. "I don't take kindly to being lied to, Doctor Grey. However. I'm willing to overlook it this one time because you were clearly trying to protect your sister. And considering where the two of you started, I'd say that progress is quite impressive." She sounds almost proud as she says it. But then she holds up her pointer finger and steps forward so that she's practically standing on Meredith's shoes. "But if you ever lie to me again, you may not live long enough to regret it. Do we understand one another?"

"Perfectly," Meredith says with a firm nod.

"Good," Doctor Bailey says. She lowers her pointer finger and makes a shooing motion with the clipboard. "Go make yourself useful."

Meredith turns around and hurries across the ER to a man that the EMTs have just brought in. As she reaches him, it occurs to her that Doctor Bailey has a point. Lying for Lexie is definitely progress. Meredith tries to tell herself that it was just a simple act of kindness. She would've done it for anyone. But in reality, she knows better. Lexie is starting to get to her. First Meredith made her breakfast, and now she's lying for Lexie. What's next, letting Lexie move into the house? Meredith scoffs inwardly. No, that'll never happen.

Will it?

* * *

Thanks so much to those of you who took the time to review the previous chapter. It made me super happy. Please keep it up. The next two chapters will be much lighter in tone, so you'll get a short break from the more emotional stuff. Although I promise there's plenty more of that to come. Thanks for reading!


	13. Times You Heal

Author's Note: This is just a quick scene set in season eight while Lexie is working in neuro with Derek. I love it when Meredith gets protective of Lexie, and we didn't see it nearly enough in the show. This chapter mostly came out of that, as well as me wanting to see Meredith patch Lexie up at work because it seems like such a big sister thing to do. So this chapter is short, but hopefully it's sweet and maybe even a little funny. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Good Life" by OneRepublic

* * *

 **Times You Heal _  
_**

"Explain to me how prepping a patient for surgery leads to you needing stitches," Meredith says as she surveys the side of Lexie's left hand.

There's a very deep cut running from just below Lexie's pinky down to her wrist. Lexie had come down the hall looking for someone to stitch her up, and Meredith had pulled her over into the empty resident's lounge. Now they're both sitting on the couch staring down at Lexie's hand. The necessary supplies for sutures are laid out on the coffee table in front of them.

"He's schizophrenic," Lexie says as if that explains everything. "He's really nice though, and he'd been pretty calm so far. Which is why Derek thought I could handle him. But while I was getting him prepped, he just… snapped." Lexie holds up her uninjured hand and snaps her fingers to prove her point. "I guess the voices told him I was a threat or something. So he started yelling and tried to get out of the bed, and when I tried to stop him, he threw me."

"Threw you?" Meredith asks with a concerned glance up at her sister. She turns Lexie's hand, which she's already numbed, and pushes a sterilized needle through the very end of the cut.

"He's big," Lexie says with a shrug. "Really big. But I'm okay. Well, my shoulder's a little sore. But it's fine. I'm completely fine. Except for, you know, needing stitches."

"I'm still not clear on how that happened," Meredith says as she continues stitching the cut.

"There was a glass bottle on the table," Lexie tells her. "He threw me, I hit it, it fell, it broke, I landed on one of the pieces, and this happened."

She points at the cut with the forefinger of her right hand.

"Remind me to have a talk with my husband when we get home," Meredith says irritably.

"It wasn't his fault," Lexie insists. "The guy's really sweet when he's not hearing voices. Derek couldn't have known he'd go off like that."

"It doesn't matter," Meredith says. She has to pause and take a breath to keep herself from yanking the needle and making Lexie's cut worse. "He never should've left you alone with a patient strong enough to throw you."

"A lot of people could probably throw me," Lexie points out. "But nobody's done it until today."

"Well, there shouldn't have been a glass bottle in there either," Meredith adds.

"His brother came in with a Coke that he bought outside, and he set the bottle down for just a second," Lexie says. "I just happened to fall into it. You can't blame that on Derek."

"I know," Meredith says. She glances up at Lexie and then back down at her work. "But this could've been worse. A lot worse. What if you had broken your arm? Or sliced your wrist? Or hit your head? You could've been really badly hurt."

"Meredith, I'm fine," Lexie says with a smile.

"I know," Meredith says again. This time she doesn't look up from the stitches.

"I've seen doctors come out of the ER with way worse than this," Lexie says, trying again.

"I know," Meredith repeats in an exasperated tone. She halts the needle she's using and looks up at Lexie. "But you're my sister, Lexie. I'm allowed to worry about you." She looks back down at Lexie's hand before adding, "And to threaten to kill my husband if you get hurt on his watch."

"Fine," Lexie caves. "Just as long as you don't actually kill him."

Meredith flashes a smile up at Lexie before returning her focus to the stitches.

"Don't worry," she says. "I won't."

"Seriously, Meredith," Lexie tells her. "It's just a scratch."

"New rule," Meredith says firmly. "You are not allowed to get scratched up while on the job."

"What about off the job?" Lexie teases. Meredith glares up at her, but Lexie just chuckles. "Okay, okay. No more getting scratched up. Scout's honor."

"You were never a Girl Scout," Meredith points out.

"So?" Lexie says with a shrug.

"So you can't say that," Meredith tells her. "It bases your whole promise on a lie."

"Fine," Lexie concedes. "I promise on my own honor that I will try very, very hard not to get scratched up anymore while doing this job."

"You better," Meredith warns. She ties off her final stitch and holds up Lexie's hand for a better look. Then she gives a satisfied nod. "Okay. You're good to go."

Lexie holds up her hand, twisting it around so she can see the stitches.

"Wow," she says. "I've never had sutures before. Well, I got them a couple times back when the interns were doing them on each other. But I've never had them because I actually needed them."

She makes it sound like it's an accomplishment to be checked off a bucket list. Meredith shakes her head. Lexie never ceases to amaze her.

"Well, now you have," Meredith says drily.

"Thanks, Meredith," Lexie says, looking back up at her sister with a grin. "You're the best."

"I know," Meredith says.

Lexie jumps up from the couch with her usual boundless energy. Then she looks down at the supplies on the coffee table.

"Do you need me to help clean up?" she asks.

Meredith opens her mouth to accept the offer, but then she sees Lexie's eagerly raised eyebrows and her lips tightly pressed together. There's also her overly stiff posture as if Lexie's trying very hard not to take off.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" Meredith asks suspiciously.

"Surgery with Derek," Lexie admits. And then it all comes out in a rush. "I know he probably won't let me do anything now that I'm a hand short, but I can still watch. The guy has this amazing tumor, Meredith. And if I go now, I can still get there in time for the good part."

She falls silent, her eyes pleading with Meredith to let her go. Meredith purposefully stays silent for a few seconds just to watch her sister squirm. But finally she sighs.

"Go," she says, waving Lexie toward the door. Lexie grins and spins around on her heel. She's already reached the door when Meredith calls after her. "Lexie?"

"Yeah?" Lexie says, turning back around.

"I meant what I said," Meredith says seriously. "No more getting hurt, okay?"

"I won't," Lexie says honestly. Then a grin crosses her face as she remembers the surgery she's heading for. "I gotta go. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye," Meredith calls after her. But Lexie's already gone.

Meredith looks down at the supplies on the coffee table and shakes her head. Lexie really is amazing sometimes.

* * *

Reviews make for happy authors, which make for better chapters. I'm just saying. The next chapter will be a pretty funny one, so come back in a couple days to check it out. Thanks for reading!


	14. Times You're Tempted to Steal

Author's Note: This chapter takes place during 5x20. Mark has told Derek that he and Lexie are dating, and now the two best friends are refusing to have anything to do with each other. Lexie becomes increasingly stressed out by being constantly caught in the middle. So she starts stress eating. There's a scene in the episode where Meredith confronts Derek and Mark and tells them to make up for Lexie's sake. It's actually a pretty funny scene. Since we never see Lexie actually explain to Meredith that she stress eats, I figured it would be fun to show that. Plus this particular lyric didn't really lend itself to anything else. So this scene takes place right before Meredith's attempted intervention. Sorry for how short this chapter is. Hopefully the humor makes up for it. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Hopeless Opus" by Imagine Dragons

* * *

 **Times You're Tempted to Steal _  
_**

"Really?" Lexie cries. She taps the glass on the front of the vending machine, but it's no use. The bag of miniature brownies she just paid for is still just barely hanging from the coil that should have spun it off the shelf into the empty port below.

"Oh, come on!"

Lexie gives the bottom of the machine a kick to try and knock the bag loose. Nothing happens.

"You gotta be kidding me," she says, her eyes wide in disbelief. "Seriously? I paid for that!" She points an accusatory finger at the vending machine. "This is stealing!"

"Are you talking to the vending machine?" Meredith's voice asks from behind her. Lexie turns around to find her sister watching her in concern.

"It ate my money," Lexie says defensively. "Well, not technically. But my brownies are stuck and they won't come out, so basically it ate my money."

Meredith walks the remaining few steps over the vending machine while still giving Lexie a worried look.

"Didn't you just buy a candy bar like an hour ago?" she asks.

"I stress eat," Lexie blurts out. "I only do it when I'm really, really stressed, but then I eat a lot. And right now my boyfriend is not speaking to my sister's fiancé, who is supposed to be his best friend and who I happen to live with, and they both work together so they have to see each other all the time, and I keep getting caught in the middle of it, and it's really, really stressing me out. So now I'm eating, and I can't seem to stop."

Finally she runs out of words. Meredith is staring at her with wide eyes, mildly surprised by the sudden outburst. Lexie turns her attention back to the vending machine, only to see the bag of brownies still hanging on. She groans in frustration and drops her head to rest against the glass cover.

"Make it stop," she moans. She looks so pitiful standing there. Under normal circumstances, it would be funny. But right now, it's concerning.

"Okay, first of all, this vending machine has a history of getting stuck," Meredith tells her. She puts a hand on Lexie's shoulder and gently pushes her back a step. "And when it does, you do this."

She squints at the side of the machine for a second as if looking for something in particular. Then she lines her foot up with a spot a few inches off the ground and gives it a swift kick. Immediately the bag of mini brownies inside the machine falls to the bottom. Lexie's eyes widen in amazement. She drops to her knees and pulls the bag out of the port.

"How did you do that?" she cries.

"Alex was the one who figured it out," Meredith says. "It kept eating his change. Apparently some of the coils get stuck, and if you kick it right there, they shift a little. Nobody knows why."

Lexie gets to her feet, already tearing into the bag. She puts the first brownie into her mouth and then pauses suddenly. Her eyes go to Meredith and then back to the vending machine.

"So, if I keep kicking it," she says around the food in her mouth, "more stuff might fall out?"

"Oh, no," Meredith says, her eyes narrowing. "You are not stealing snacks from the vending machine."

"I can't afford to keep eating like this," Lexie says mournfully. "I'll go broke." As if to prove her point, she swallows the brownie in her mouth and replaces it with two more in rapid succession. "I already bought enough Reese's to fill my pocket."

Meredith looks down at the pocket of Lexie's lab coat, and sure enough, it's bulging.

"Okay, that's it," Meredith says in exasperation. "You need an intervention."

"What does that mean?" Lexie asks nervously as she swallows her brownies.

"It means we're going to talk to Derek and Mark," Meredith says. "Where are they?"

"They have a joint surgery in a few minutes," Lexie says. "I'm supposed to scrub in with them."

She quickly puts another brownie in her mouth.

"Come on," Meredith says. She steps around Lexie and starts off down the hall. "We're going to sort this out once and for all."

Lexie starts to go after her, but turns back to give the vending machine a thoughtful look.

"Lexie!" Meredith calls over her shoulder.

Lexie hurries after her, stuffing another brownie in her mouth as she does so.

* * *

Please, please review. Even if it's only a sentence or two, it'll still make me happy. And a happy author keeps writing. The next chapter will be earlier in season five when Derek brought Lexie home after things with the secret intern club hit the fan. We know Lexie moved into Meredith's house at some point after that, so the next chapter will be my take on how that actually happened. Come back in a couple days to to check it out. Thanks for reading!


	15. Times of Confusion

Author's Note: In episode 5x09, the interns attempt to remove Sadie's appendix and run into serious complications. Lexie goes to Meredith, who manages to save Sadie with help from Cristina and Bailey. The Chief then puts all the interns on probation. When he learns that Cristina knew something about the intern's activities, he pulls her from solo surgeries. Cristina then gets mad at Meredith for not having her back and tells Meredith to stop pretending to care about Lexie when they both know she doesn't. Near the end of the episode, Mark prompts Derek to take Lexie home since she has no family, and Derek does. Meredith is clearly surprised when she gets home and finds Lexie, but she doesn't seem upset by the idea. And Lexie ends up moving into the house sometime later, so this is my take on how that could have come about. This chapter picks up immediately after Meredith gets home. It includes some actual dialogue from the episode and then extends the scene past what we saw. This is one of my favorite chapters because it shows the point at which Meredith finally decides that she wants to be a sister. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Light" by Sleeping At Last

* * *

 **Times of Confusion _  
_**

Meredith is exhausted when she gets home. Between saving Sadie, fighting for Lexie's job, getting yelled at by Cristina, and sternly lecturing the interns, she's ready to go to bed. She's expecting Derek to be home. What she's not expecting is to walk into the kitchen and find Lexie sitting at the bar drinking out of a mug. Meredith pauses briefly in her tracks. Lexie is in her house. But that observation isn't nearly as surprising as the realization that it doesn't feel invasive. In fact, it almost feels natural.

Derek is in the other room getting out blankets, and he looks up with a weary smile as Meredith walks over to him.

"Hey," she says, leaning her shoulder against the doorframe.

"Hey," he echoes.

"Lexie's here," Meredith says. It's almost more of a question than a statement.

"Yeah," Derek says simply.

"Are you making up a bed for her?" Meredith asks.

"Yep," Derek says as he continues to fold up the appropriate sheets. Meredith glances down at his work, and a smile creeps across her face.

"You brought home a stray," she says fondly.

"Yeah," Derek says, returning the smile.

Meredith glances back at Lexie rubbing wearily at her forehead. She looks exhausted. It's a feeling Meredith understands all too well.

"She asked me something interesting on the way here," Derek says. Meredith turns back around to face him, her eyebrows raised in silent question. "She asked if I thought she had ruined everything."

"Well, Webber's not happy, and all the interns are now on indefinite probation," Meredith says. "But they're all still employed, so no, she didn't."

"She wasn't talking about the hospital," Derek says. He stills his hands and looks up at Meredith. "She was talking about you." Meredith frowns in confusion, so he explains. "She's worried that she messed things up between the two of you. That you're angry and you'll pull away."

Meredith looks back over her shoulder at Lexie, who is now resting her forehead on her right hand. It makes her look incredibly vulnerable somehow. Suddenly it's like Meredith is seeing her for the first time. Her mother is dead, her father spends most of his time at the bottom of a bottle, and her other sister lives a world away. True, Lexie has George, but things have gotten awkward between them since George became a resident. And while Lexie may get along well enough with the other interns, she hasn't really connected fully with any of them. Not like Meredith did with Cristina.

That's when it truly hits Meredith. Lexie is alone here. No wonder she keeps trying so hard to reach out. In spite of all her jokes and smiles, Lexie is lonely. And somehow that knowledge bothers Meredith in a way that it never has before.

She turns back to Derek, who's watching her with a serious expression.

"You mean a lot to her," he says honestly.

"You think I should talk to her," Meredith says with a sigh.

"I think you need to seriously consider whether or not you want to have a relationship with her," Derek corrects. "And if you do, then you should probably find a way to show her. Because if you don't start reaching back, there's going to come a day when Lexie gives up. I don't want you to wake up one morning and realize that you lost the chance to know her. Because deep down, I think part of you really does want to know her."

Meredith has to think about that for a second. There was a day when she had wanted Lexie as far away from her as possible. Even just a few hours ago, Lexie's presence had been only tolerable. But after everything that happened tonight… Cristina was wrong. Meredith does care about Lexie. She can't tell if it's something that's been slowly growing on her or if it just happened all at once tonight. But what she does know is that Lexie coming to her for help felt right. Sticking up for Lexie felt right. Seeing her in this kitchen feels right. Maybe Derek has a point. Maybe it's time to finally reach back.

"I'll talk to her," Meredith says.

Derek smiles approvingly. He leans forward and they share a quick kiss. Then he picks up the pile of blankets he's pulled out.

"I'm gonna go make up her bed," he says.

"Okay," Meredith says.

Derek steps around her and heads out through the kitchen. Meredith turns around to face the kitchen, but she pauses briefly as she sees Lexie sitting there. She has no idea how to do this. She forces herself to take a breath and let it out before crossing the tile floor toward the bar. Lexie looks up in surprise as Meredith sits down in the chair beside her.

"Hey," Lexie says awkwardly.

"Hey," Meredith says with a smile. "Crazy night, huh?"

"I am so sorry about what happened," Lexie says. She certainly looks sorry. And worried. She hurries on, as if trying to plead her case. "I don't know what we were thinking. Well, I do know, but it was stupid. We were stupid. And I promise that it will never happen again."

"I know it won't," Meredith assures her.

"Are you in a lot of trouble?" Lexie asks in concern.

"Not with the chief," Meredith says drily. "But Cristina may be mad at me for a while."

"Why?" Lexie asks.

"It's a long story," Meredith says with a nonchalant wave of her hand. "But you didn't get me in any real trouble. And Sadie's going to be fine. In fact, I'm hoping that maybe this will finally knock some sense into her."

It's supposed to be a joke, but Lexie doesn't laugh. She's still sitting there clutching her mug of hot chocolate like she's waiting for the executioner's axe to fall. Meredith sighs.

"Look," she says. "What you guys did was stupid. Really stupid."

"I know," Lexie says. She looks down at her mug, too ashamed to meet Meredith's eyes.

"But," Meredith continues, "you were smart enough to go get help when you needed it. We were able to save Sadie, and nobody lost their job over it. So all in all, I think things turned out okay."

"What about us? I mean you and me?" Lexie asks tentatively. She looks up at Meredith from the corner of her eye as if she's too afraid to make full eye contact. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah," Meredith says with a small smile. "So you did something stupid. It happens. I've certainly done my fair share. But it's not the end of the world. You learn from it, and you move on. So yeah, we're okay."

Lexie sighs in relief, and Meredith can practically see the tension leaving her body.

"Good," Lexie says.

Derek was right, Meredith realizes. She means a lot to Lexie. And Lexie is starting to mean something to Meredith too. For the first time since Lexie walked into her life, Meredith is shocked to find that some part of her actually wants Lexie here. She wants the chance to get to know this girl sitting at her counter. She has no idea how to be a sister, and she probably won't be any good at it anyway. But for some inexplicable reason, some part of her still wants to give it a shot.

"Do you maybe want to move in here?" Meredith asks suddenly. She's not sure where the words come from, but she can't help thinking that they feel right."I know you and George already have a place, and if you actually did move in, you'd probably end up in the attic. But if you ever needed somewhere to go-"

"Yes," Lexie blurts out. "I'd love to."

Her eyes are wide in enthusiastic awe like she's grasping at something that could fade away if she doesn't move fast enough. Then she pulls back a bit, suddenly aware of how eager she sounds.

"I mean, I'll have to talk to George about it first," she says in a carefully level tone.

"Okay," Meredith says with a smile. "Let me know what you decide."

"I will," Lexie assures her. She's trying to act calm, but a smile is forcing its way onto her face.

"For now," Meredith says, laying her hands decisively on the bar, "we should probably get some sleep. Derek should have your bed made by now, so you can go up whenever you're ready."

"Okay," Lexie says. She looks down at her mug, which is still half full of hot chocolate. "I'm just gonna finish this, and then I'll go."

"Take your time," Meredith tells her. She gets up from the chair and begins making her way back through the kitchen.

"Meredith?" Lexie calls just as she reaches the door. Meredith turns back around to see that Lexie is looking at her over the back of the chair. She glances down at the floor briefly as if gathering her courage. Then she looks back up at Meredith and says, "Thank you."

She doesn't specify if she means for saving Sadie or for going to bat for her with Webber or for letting her stay here tonight or for offering to let her stay permanently. Maybe she means all of it. Either way, the gratitude in her eyes touches Meredith's heart.

"You're welcome," Meredith says warmly. "Good night, Lexie."

"Good night," Lexie says with a smile.

Meredith returns the smile before stepping out of the kitchen and walking toward the staircase. There had been a day she hadn't wanted Lexie in this house period. But now Lexie might be moving in. And oddly enough, the idea of it actually brings a smile to Meredith's face. Who would've thought?

Derek has just finished brushing his teeth when Meredith gets upstairs. He looks over at her in interest as he puts his toothbrush in its holder.

"Well?" he asks.

Meredith steps up behind him and puts her arms around his waist.

"I asked Lexie to move in," she says, resting her chin atop his shoulder.

"Good," Derek tells her reflection.

"You don't sound surprised," Meredith says.

Derek turns his head so he can see her face.

"Honestly?" he says. "I'm surprised it took you this long."

In answer, Meredith leans up and kisses him. He always did know her too well.

* * *

You guys know the drill. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. The next chapter will be more serious. It looks at Meredith and Lexie checking on each other right after the shooting at the end of season six. The show pretty much skipped over the more immediate aftermath, so I'll be giving my version of that. It'll be a little heavier than the last few chapters, but hopefully still good. Thanks for reading!


	16. Times You're In Pain

Author's Note: Season six ended with a shooting at the hospital. Lexie gets trapped with Mark and Alex, who gets shot, while Meredith is with Cristina, who has to save Derek after he also gets shot. The episode ends shortly after the death of the shooter. When seasons seven picks up, it's some time after the shooting. An earlier chapter of this story looked at how I think Lexie eventually dealt with all those emotions and how Meredith helped her. But I also wanted to see the Grey sisters connect in the more immediate aftermath of the shooting when the shock was still fresh. Since Meredith and Lexie don't have any contact during the lockdown, they have no way of knowing if the other is okay. I wanted to see that brief panic followed by an attempt to somehow pull their world back together. So that's where this chapter came from. It's a bit heavier than most of this story, but hopefully it's still good in a bittersweet sort of way.

Musical Inspiration: "Everything Is Lost" by Maggie Eckford

* * *

 **Times You're In Pain _  
_**

Meredith has just come out of Derek's room when her phone rings. The caller ID says Lexie. Only when she looks down at the name does it suddenly hit Meredith that Lexie hasn't even crossed her mind today. Immediately she feels guilty. If something's happened to Lexie, she'll never forgive herself.

"Hello?" Meredith says after hitting the answer button.

"Oh, thank God," Lexie's voice says. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I…" Meredith pauses briefly, not quite sure what to say. She had a miscarriage, and Derek almost died. But she doesn't want to talk about the miscarriage, and Derek's going to be okay. So instead she says, "I'm fine. I'm still at the hospital. What about you? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Lexie says. She sounds okay. Exhausted, but okay. "I came back to get my stuff. I just walked into the lobby."

"Stay there, okay?" Meredith tells her. "I'm coming to you."

Derek is stable and sleeping, so he can wait a minute. Besides, now that Meredith is thinking about Lexie, she needs to see her little sister and be absolutely sure that she really is fine.

"Okay," Lexi says shakily.

The line clicks as Lexie hangs up. Meredith puts her phone in her pocket and heads toward the lobby. The hospital is beginning to come back to life as some of the capable return to their posts. Someone has to deal with the patients that remain, not to mention the fresh injuries that were sustained today. Some of the rooms Meredith passes contain people she knows. Most of the injuries look minor, although the occasional sobbing nurse or doctor tells her that today was not without loss. A few people are sitting in hallways staring off into empty space, too deep in shock to react. But most of the survivors are either distracting themselves with work or huddled together in groups. There's broken glass in places and a few stray bullet holes in the walls. It's all a mess. How could anyone do this? And in a hospital, of all places? This building is Meredith's safe place. It's her home. But now it just feels wrong. Like a church that has been desecrated.

Meredith gets to the lobby to find it full of people hugging and crying and talking in low voices. Hospital staff members sit in clusters, their faces blank with shock. Families of patients and workers are frantic for news of their loved ones. Cops and firemen are talking to some of the survivors. A few people with minor injuries are sitting in chairs getting patched up. Gurneys are being carried out as some of the worst injuries are transferred to waiting ambulances headed for Seattle Presbyterian. The human sea spills straight out the hospital doors and onto the parking lot beyond where fire trucks and cop cars are still parked on the curbs amid the chaos.

"Meredith!" a frantic voice yells.

Meredith turns around to see Lexie running her direction. Lexie slows down just enough to keep from knocking Meredith over as she flings her arms around her sister's neck.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she chokes.

Her hoarse voice says that she was crying recently. Meredith puts her own arms around Lexie and lets her eyes drift shut briefly at the knowledge that her sister is indeed safe.

"You too," Meredith says.

Lexie pulls away, but Meredith slides her right hand down to take hold of Lexie's hand in an effort to steady herself.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asks, her eyes sweeping Lexie for any sign of injury.

"I'm fine," Lexie assures her. She's clearly not. It only takes one look at her stiff shoulders and wide eyes to see that. Emotionally, she's a wreck. But physically she looks unhurt.

"Alex got shot," Lexie blurts out. Her breathing speeds up a little, and so does Meredith's heart.

"Is he okay?" Meredith asks in shock. Lexie nods.

"He's gonna be fine," she says. "Mark and I, we kept him alive until we could get out. Mark's okay too. And Teddy. She operated on Alex. They took him to Seattle Pres. He hasn't woken up yet, but Teddy says he should be fine."

Meredith can't even express how relieved she is to hear that. Since Lexie called, she's been trying to construct a list in her mind of who she knows is okay and who she doesn't. That's three more names she can add to the "okay" column. Alex. Mark. Teddy. But the column of unknown fates is still staggeringly long.

Lexie takes a look around the chaotic lobby, and her forehead wrinkles in concern.

"Where's Derek?" she asks, returning her gaze to Meredith. "Is he okay?"

"He was shot too," Meredith says shakily. Lexie's eyes widen and her mouth drops in shock. "The shooter came looking for him specifically."

"Oh my gosh," Lexie gasps. "Is he okay? Please tell me he's okay."

"He's okay," Meredith says with a weary nod. "Cristina operated on him during the lockdown. She saved his life."

"Oh, thank God," Lexie breathes.

"She almost got shot doing it," Meredith continues. "Owen did get shot, but I was able to save him, so he's okay. And Cristina is too. She's pretty shaken up, but she's okay. So is April. And Jackson. And I passed Doctor Bailey a minute ago, so I know she's safe."

"Robbins and Torres are outside," Lexie tells her. "Arizona was crying, but I don't think either of them was hurt."

That's two more names Meredith can add to the list of people who are okay. But not everyone is lucky enough to be on that list.

"Reed didn't make it," Meredith says quietly.

"What?" Lexie gasps.

"Charles didn't either," Meredith continues. It's hard to get the words out, but Lexie needs to know. "They were both shot. They're the only ones I know of for sure, but…"

She trails off, unable to speak the end of that thought - _"but there could be more."_ Lexie turns away, and her free hand comes up to press against her forehead as fresh tears well in her eyes. Meredith squeezes her other hand tightly.

"There was a nurse," Lexie says, turning back to Meredith. Her voice is strained as if she's having trouble getting the words out. "He shot her. He was trying to go upstairs, and she tried to stop him. She said he couldn't leave because of the lockdown. So he shot her. He just turned around and shot her, Meredith."

She pauses and her eyes suddenly widen.

"I don't know her name," she says. A hysterical note has entered her voice now. "She was shot right in front of me, and I don't know her name. She's dead. Why don't I know her name?"

Before Lexie can get worked up to a full panic, Meredith pulls her into a tight hug. A small whimper escapes Lexie as she locks her arms around Meredith's waist. Meredith's hand promptly comes up to cradle Lexie's head, as much for her own comfort as for Lexie's. She opens her mouth, but she can't get anything to come out. Her throat has tightened up, and her eyes are starting to burn.

"We're gonna get through this," Meredith finally manages to choke out. "We're gonna be okay."

It takes every ounce of strength she has to keep her voice steady. Because honestly, she's not sure if they will be. Far too much has happened today for things to just magically be okay. Even if they do somehow manage to pull through this, nothing will ever be the same again.

Lexie's chest is rising and falling in spastic shudders, and she's holding on so tight that Meredith isn't sure she'll ever let go. But honestly, that's just fine with Meredith. Right now the only thing keeping her from falling apart is the feeling of her arms around Lexie and of Lexie's arms around her. So for now, Meredith is holding on every bit as tightly as Lexie. A drowning woman clinging to a lifeline.

The sounds of the lobby slowly fade out of Meredith's awareness until she and Lexie are all that remain. It's almost as if there's some kind of bubble around them that's keeping the surrounding chaos at bay. For one blessed moment, they can pretend their world hasn't just been shattered into a million pieces. They're both here, and they're both alright. Two bodies that are still warm. Two hearts that are still beating. Beating a little fast maybe, but beating nonetheless. It's not much. After everything that happened today, after all of the pain and terror and loss, it seems almost inconsequential. But right now it's all they have. And for this one moment, maybe they can somehow make it be enough.

* * *

Thanks for all the great feedback on the last chapter. Please, please keep it up. The next chapter will go back to the middle of season four after Thatcher came to the hospital drunk. There was a great scene where Lexie angrily opened up to Meredith about what her current life was really like, but then there was never really any resolution on that. So the next chapter will be an added scene for that episode where Lexie and Meredith get to settle that issue a bit more than they did in the show. Thanks for reading!


	17. Times You're Ashamed

Author's Note: In 4x08, Thatcher shows up drunk at the hospital after putting his hand through a window. Meredith patches him up and later gives Lexie a lecture about taking better care of her father. Lexie reacts by giving Meredith an angry speech about what Thatcher is like drunk and what it's like for Lexie living with him. Meredith seems to feel guilty afterwards, but nothing is ever really done about it in the episode. This chapter is a scene I would've liked to see just to bring a little closure on that conversation. At the end of the episode, Alex and Lexie are in the elevator together when Alex informs Lexie that he had it much worse as a kid and she needs to suck it up. He also puts a full stop to their short-lived relationship, which was already fizzling due to Alex feeling caught between Lexie and Meredith. Alex then leaves Lexie alone in the elevator. This chapter picks up right after that point. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Demons" cover by Jasmine Thompson

* * *

 **Times You're Ashamed _  
_**

Meredith is on her way out of the hospital and over to Joe's for a cold drink when Lexie suddenly steps out of the elevator she's walking past. They both stumble to a halt, staring awkwardly at each other as they try to decide how to proceed. Then Lexie ducks her head and steps around Meredith. Meredith almost just lets her go. But something in her can't quite do it.

"Lexie?" she calls.

Lexie stops walking, and her shoulders seem to slump. When she turns around, she looks more tired than Meredith has ever seen her.

"What?" she asks wearily.

Meredith hesitates. She's not even sure what she wants to say. Finally she settles for, "You could've told me about Thatcher."

"You made it pretty clear how you feel about family drama," Lexie says. She shrugs her shoulder to keep her bag strap from falling off. "Besides, he's not your dad, so it's not your problem. I'm the one who should be keeping a better eye on him."

There's an icy undertone to that last sentence that makes Meredith's heart sink.

"I shouldn't have said that," Meredith admits. "He's a grown man, and he makes his own choices. You shouldn't be held responsible for them."

"That's very big of you," Lexie says. But she still sounds slightly hostile. Or at least, as hostile as Lexie ever gets.

"How often does he get like that?" Meredith asks.

"You mean drunk?" Lexie asks. She reaches up and takes hold of her bag strap as it once more threatens to fall off. "More often than he's sober. He drinks pretty much all the time. Usually he just sits around and cries while he does it. Or he stares at pictures of my mom. It's not too bad then. He stays put. Doesn't really cause any trouble."

"But sometimes it does get bad?" Meredith asks, unsure if she wants to know the answer.

"He's never hurt me," Lexie says quickly. "He's never even tried. Mostly he just yells a lot. He's broken bottles a couple times. And the window. Sometimes he tries to drive to the store for more scotch, and then I have to hide his keys. Which just makes him yell more. It's okay though. Well, it's not. But I can handle it."

She stands up a little straighter as if trying to prove the point. And if she's managed to keep Thatcher's drinking from Meredith for this long, then she probably can handle it. But she's also only twenty-four. She shouldn't have to handle it. No wonder she looks tired. She's working insanely long shifts and then going home to take care of a drunk father. For the first time since meeting Lexie, Meredith finds herself feeling a twinge of genuine sympathy for her half-sister.

"If he ever…" Meredith trails off, unable to make herself go there. But she still has to say something. Not because they're related, but because it's simply the decent thing to do. "If you ever can't handle it, call me."

Lexie's eyebrows knit together as if she's trying to decide whether the offer is genuine.

"I don't have your number," she says finally.

"Well, Alex does," Meredith tells her.

"Alex and I are done," Lexie says. Her gaze falls to the floor as she says it. "He doesn't do family drama or drunk fathers. And he thinks I act like a fifteen-year-old."

"Oh," Meredith says awkwardly. She doesn't really know what else to say. And she can't help feeling like this is her fault. She's the one who pushed Alex away from Lexie.

"It wasn't going to last anyway," Lexie says, still to the floor.

They both stand there for a moment, neither of them sure what to do.

"I should probably go," Lexie says as she starts to turn away.

"Wait," Meredith blurts out. "Give me your phone."

Lexie turns around with a strange look on her face. She hesitates briefly before slowly reaching into her pocket and pulling out her phone. She extends it to Meredith, who takes it and begins pushing buttons while Lexie watches curiously. A few seconds later Meredith hands the phone back.

"There," she says. "Now you have my number."

Lexie looks from Meredith to her phone and then back up. Her eyes are suspiciously moist when they reach Meredith's. Her shoulders seem to relax a bit, and somehow she doesn't look quite as tired as she did a minute ago.

"Thanks," she says carefully. In all honesty, they both know she'll probably never make that call. They're just not there yet. But she could if she needed to, and that's the part that matters.

"I'm headed over to Joe's if you want to walk over with me," Meredith says.

"I thought you didn't want me invading your life," Lexie points out.

"It's a free country," Meredith says with a shrug. "We're allowed to be in the same bar."

"I can't," Lexie says apologetically. "I need to get home and check on Dad. And I have to figure out what to do about the window."

"Right," Meredith says. "You should go."

"Can I have a rain check?" Lexie asks. That tiny note of hope that usually drives Meredith crazy is hiding in her voice, but suddenly it doesn't seem so irritating.

"Sure," Meredith says. Giving a rain check on a walk to a bar certainly seems a little ridiculous, but why not? It's just a walk. It's not like Meredith is promising to actually get a drink with Lexie. But she could almost swear that the corners of Lexie's mouth pull up just the tiniest bit.

"Okay," Lexie says. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Meredith says. "Tomorrow."

Lexie gives Meredith a tentative smile before turning away. Meredith watches her go in silence. Even after Lexie has walked through the double doors and out of the hospital, Meredith still continues to stand there. She doesn't want a sister. She never did. But Lexie has been nothing but kind. And while that can certainly get irritating, it's becoming clear that Lexie doesn't have the perfect life Meredith expected from her. And that fantasy is the whole reason Meredith has been trying to hate her. Maybe it's time to finally stop. Not that she has to embrace Lexie as family or anything. But maybe she could at least try to be civil. After all, what harm could it possibly do?

* * *

If you're reading this, please take a second to leave a review. You guys have no idea what your feedback means to me. The next chapter will jump to season eight, and it shows Meredith trying to help Lexie process her break-up with Jackson. It's one of my very favorites, partly because it features a cameo by Zola. So be sure to come back in a couple days and check it out. Thanks for reading!


	18. Times Your Heart Aches

Author's Note: In 8x08, Jackson breaks up with Lexie because she still has feelings for Mark. Lexie is able to deal with that a little bit by spending time with one of Derek's current patients, an author whose character's love life bears some striking resemblances to Lexie's own. The next two episodes occur within the same night, and by the end of that time, Lexie's break-up feels like it happened a long time ago. As a result, the show never really showed her coping with further emotional fallout. I really wanted to see Lexie talking to Meredith about it, especially since Meredith understands it after her own past with Derek and Finn. At the end of 8x10, Meredith and Derek finally get Zola back after a lengthy custody issue. And since I've also really wanted to write Lexie spending time with Zola, this gave me the perfect opportunity. Also, it's mentioned in season 9 that Lexie is named as Zola's guardian if anything ever happened to Meredith and Derek. A reviewer asked me if I could show how that came about in this story, so it's in here too. This chapter is one of the longest just because there was so much I wanted to fit into it. It's also one of my very favorites. I don't write very many calm, everyday moments between Meredith and Lexie, so I love it when there's a chance for those chapters. Hopefully you guys do too. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Chasing Cars" cover by The Wind and the Wave  
*Sleeping At Last also has a great cover. Both have been used in the show.

* * *

 **Times Your Heart Aches _  
_**

The clock by Meredith's bed says it's just after 8 p.m. when she wakes up. After being awake for thirty-nine hours at work plus some change to play with Zola, she's honestly surprised that she woke up this soon. Derek's still sound asleep. The rest of the house probably is too at this point.

Meredith quietly gets out of bed and tiptoes across the room. She opens and closes the door, careful not to wake Derek, before walking across the landing to Zola's room. They put Zola down for a nap earlier so they could try and get some rest. Hopefully, she's still asleep. But either way, Meredith wants to see her just to reassure herself that she isn't dreaming and that Zola really is home.

She pushes open the door to Zola's room, and suddenly her heart stops. The crib is empty. Meredith is across the room in a flash. So intense is her impending panic that it takes her a moment to notice the post-it on top of the crib railing. A few quick lines of text have been scribbled down on it.

 _Don't panic. I've got her. –Lexie_

Air comes back into Meredith's lungs. Zola's okay. But thanks to her mini heart attack, Meredith is now wide awake. She sighs. She might as well use that alertness to go check on Zola for real.

She heads back out of Zola's bedroom and makes her way over to the stairs. When she nears the bottom, she can hear Lexie's voice drifting up from the living room.

"…so he decided to take a little nap," Lexie says. "But while he was sleeping, the tortoise caught up with him and won the race."

Zola giggles happily the way she does when she's being tickled. Meredith will never get tired of hearing that sound. She reaches the bottom of the stairs and steps up to the doorframe of the living room to see that Lexie is sitting cross-legged on the floor in a Harvard Medical School sweatshirt and plaid sweat pants. Zola is sitting in front of her with a small pile of toy animals between them.

"And that," Lexie says, smiling down at Zola, "is why it's always better to be the smart one."

"I don't think that's supposed to be the moral of that story," Meredith says from the doorway. The sound of her voice causes Lexie to look up and smile.

"Hey, look who's awake," she says to Zola. "Say, 'Hi, Mommy.'"

She makes a waving motion with her hand, and Zola does the same, albeit a bit clumsier.

"What are you guys doing?" Meredith asks as she walks over to them.

"Well," Lexie says, "we were both awake, so I thought I'd spend some time with my favorite little niece now that she's finally back home." She reaches out and pokes Zola's belly, which makes Zola giggle. Then Lexie looks back up at Meredith. "And I figured you guys could use the extra sleep."

"Thanks for that," Meredith says as she sits down beside Lexie.

"You panicked, didn't you?" Lexie says with a grin.

"Maybe a little," Meredith admits. She leans her back against the coffee table before looking over at Lexie. "Why are you up? You should be sound asleep by now."

"I took a power nap," Lexie says with a shrug. But she's looking down as she says it.

"Something on your mind?" Meredith asks knowingly. Lexie picks up a plastic turtle and turns it over in her hand before answering.

"Jackson and I broke up," she says quietly.

"Lexie, I'm sorry," Meredith says. "What happened?"

"Mark happened," Lexie says bitterly. She sets the turtle back down in front of Zola, who's happily playing with the other animals. Then she looks over at Meredith. "Jackson thinks I still have feelings for him. Which is completely ridiculous. Mark and I are done. It's over. There's nothing there."

"Are you sure?"Meredith asks carefully. Lexie sighs.

"I don't know," she admits. "I keep telling myself that there's nothing, but then I see him with Julia, and I just want to…"

She holds her hands up in the air as she fishes for words.

"Hit her with a softball?" Meredith says with a hint of humor. Lexie groans.

"I'm a horrible person," she says, dropping her hands. Meredith just smiles. "And the worst part is that she's actually really nice. We needed help on a surgery last night, so Mark brought her in, and she's really funny and kind, and now I like her. I like my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Who does that?"

Zola chooses that moment to start babbling emphatically, causing both Meredith and Lexie to look down at her.

"Are you giving Aunt Lexie advice?" Meredith asks with a smile.

"I could sure use some," Lexie says to her niece. Zola grins happily up at her, which draws a hint of a smile from Lexie. "Don't ever fall in love. Okay, Zola? Men are messy, and you don't need them."

Zola holds up the two toy animals she's currently clutching in her chubby hands and begins hitting them together.

"Exactly," Lexie tells her. "If any boys ever try to hit on you, you just bang their heads together."

"So Jackson broke up with you because of Mark?" Meredith says, trying to redirect the conversation.

"Yeah," Lexie says, her gaze still firmly locked on Zola. "Mark's been mentoring him now that he wants to go into plastics. Jackson said something had to give, and it couldn't be his career." She shakes her head and a sad smile crosses her face. "He tells me that I still have a thing for Mark, and then he goes and picks Mark over me. Really?"

Zola holds up a plastic bear to Meredith, who takes it.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asks Lexie.

"No," Lexie says with a shake of her head. "I'm…" She trails for a second before giving a wry chuckle. "I'm Kate."

"Which means what?" Meredith asks in confusion. She sets the plastic bear in her hand back down on the carpet in front of her daughter.

"It means that I'm an idiot," Lexie says firmly. "It means that I have two guys, one who I love like crazy but who is definitely not good for me and the other who is totally in love with me and is perfect in every way. But instead of choosing him, instead of choosing good, sweet Nathan like I'm supposed to, I keep choosing Alexander. Only I can't even have him because he's dating someone else. So now I've lost Mark and Jackson, and I'm just stuck here with no one."

She puts her left elbow on her knee and rests her forehead against her hand as she stares dejectedly down at Zola.

"So you do still have feelings for Mark," Meredith says in a quiet tone.

"What is wrong with me?" Lexie asks sadly. "Why do I keep coming back to him? Why can't I just love the good guy like I'm supposed to?"

"There's nothing wrong with you," Meredith says. "Love is just messy. And sometimes it's painful and it sucks. Believe it or not, I know how you feel."

"Really?" Lexie asks skeptically.

"Really," Meredith confirms. Lexie lifts her head and looks over at Meredith in interest, so Meredith keeps going. "Before you came to the hospital, there was somebody in my life besides Derek. He was sweet and caring and perfect. And he really, really loved me. But I didn't love him."

"So what happened?" Lexie asks.

Zola makes a noise that causes them to both look down, but she's only talking to her toys.

"I tried to love him," Meredith continues. "We dated for a while. And he was a great guy. But he wasn't my guy. So eventually I left him for Derek."

"And the two of you rode off into the sunset," Lexie says dejectedly. She puts her head back down against her hand. "That's a great story and all, but in case you didn't notice, Mark already rode off with someone else."

"So?" Meredith says. "Nothing's set in stone. They could break up tomorrow. Or you could meet someone who makes you feel more than Mark ever did. There's no guarantees in love, Lexie. You just have to get out there and fight for what you want and hope the other person fights for it too."

"But what if they don't?" Lexie asks, looking over at Meredith.

"Then you have a choice," Meredith says. "You can either stay and keep fighting, or you can let them go and try to move on."

Lexie turns her head to look back down at Zola.

"This sucks," she says sadly. There are tears hiding in the corners of her eyes.

"I know," Meredith says. "And I'm sorry you have to go through it. But for what it's worth, Zola and I think you're amazing. Don't we, Zola?"

As if on cue, Zola makes an enthusiastic noise. Lexie chuckles a little in spite of herself. She reaches up and wipes her damp eyes, sniffing back her emotions as she does so.

"Thanks," she says hoarsely.

The sound of Lexie's voice causes Zola to look up at her. She holds out her hands, silently asking to be held. The gesture draws a watery smile from Lexie. She picks Zola up off the floor and sets the little girl in her lap where Lexie can hug her. A single tear slips down Lexie's cheek in the process, but she quickly wipes it away. Meredith leans over and presses a kiss to the side of her sister's head. Lexie responds by tilting her head to the side so that it's resting against Meredith's shoulder.

"You're gonna be okay," Meredith says as she wraps her arm fully around Lexie's shoulders.

Lexie pulls her sleeves down over her hands and rubs hard at her watery eyes in an effort to keep her tears from spilling over. A few still manage to escape, and she has to sniff back the rest. But she seems to relax a bit as Meredith's hand runs up and down her arm. Zola, who has been happily inspecting the pattern on Lexie's sweat pants, chooses that moment to add in her bubbly two cents.

"See?" Meredith says with a smile. "We've got your back, Little Grey."

"Good," Lexie chokes.

She sighs heavily as she wipes her watery eyes one final time. Meredith tilts her head to rest her cheek atop Lexie's head. Then they both fall silent as they watch Zola arrange her toy animals. Silence reigns for a short while in the living room, broken only by Zola's occasional cheerful babbling.

"This may not be the best time," Meredith says quietly as Zola walks a plastic lion up Lexie's crossed leg, "but Derek and I were talking earlier about the adoption, and we started talking about guardianship. Who we would want to take care of Zola is anything ever happened to us. And we think it should be you."

"Me?" Lexie asks in surprise. Her voice is still a bit scratchy from nearly crying. She lifts her head from Meredith's shoulder and looks up, her reddened eyes wide. "You want me to take Zola?"

"Only if anything ever happened," Meredith tells her. "Hopefully you'd never have to. It's mostly just a formality just in case. But if you don't want to-"

"No, of course I do," Lexie says quickly. She puts a protective arm around Zola's waist and glances down at the little girl playing happily before returning her gaze to Meredith. "I love her to death. I'd do anything for her. I just… Me? Are you sure?"

"You're my sister," Meredith says with a smile. "Who else am I gonna trust with my kid?"

"Well, Derek has a lot of sisters," Lexie points out. "And most of them are already moms. Really, really good moms. Wouldn't it make more sense for them to take her?"

"I don't think so," Meredith says. "And neither does Derek. You love Zola, and you're really good with her. And besides, she already knows you. It would be easier on her. And if, God forbid, anything ever happened and Derek and I couldn't raise Zola, I can't imagine her growing up with anyone else."

"Not even Cristina?" Lexie asks.

"I love Cristina, but can you really see me trusting her with a child?" Meredith asks.

"Maybe not," Lexie concedes with a small grin.

"And like I said, hopefully it's just a formality," Meredith says. "There's still some stuff to finish up with adoption, and then we'd have to fill out some legal papers. I just want to be sure that Zola is always going to have a home. And there's no one I trust her with more than you."

"Wow," Lexie says softly. She looks down to Zola, who is now babbling happily as she hits two animals together. "This is… I don't know what to say."

Lexie looks back up with eyes that are now damp for a completely different reason than before. The awe-filled look on her face says it all. She knows how much Zola means to Meredith. And knowing that Meredith trusts her with this has shocked Lexie into speechlessness.

"Say that you'll do it," Meredith says with a fond smile.

"Of course I will," Lexie says, nodding emphatically.

"Good," Meredith says.

Zola burbles cheerfully, causing both Meredith and Lexie to smile.

"I'm glad you approve," Lexie says to her niece.

"Of course she does," Meredith says. "She loves Aunt Lexie. We both do."

"I love you both too," Lexie says warmly.

A sudden yawn claws its way out of her mouth, and Lexie puts her hand over her mouth in a failed attempt to stifle it.

"You should try to go get some sleep," Meredith says in a motherly tone.

"What about Zola?" Lexie asks, looking down at her niece. "Her nap probably ruined any chances of getting her to bed yet."

"She can stay up with me for a while," Meredith says. "I've already missed out on enough time with her."

Lexie kisses the top of Zola's head and gives her a warm hug before picking the little girl up and handing her over to Meredith.

"Tell Aunt Lexie good night," Meredith says as she settles her daughter in her lap.

"Good night, Zola," Lexie says. She waves, and Zola waves back.

"We'll see you in the morning," Meredith says as Lexie uncrosses her legs and pushes herself up off the floor.

"Okay," Lexie says. "Night, Meredith."

"Good night," Meredith tells her.

Lexie waves down at Zola one last time. Then she steps over the pile of toys and toward the stairs. They creak slightly as she goes up. A moment later, Meredith hears the door to the attic close.

"Now," she says, picking up the plastic turtle and handing it to Zola, "Mommy's going to tell you what the story of the tortoise and the hare really means."

* * *

A few hours to write, a few seconds to review. I'm just saying. The next two chapters are also going to be in the same vein of more everyday type moments. So if you liked this one, you'll enjoy those too. In fact, I would probably consider this chapter plus the next two to be my favorite set of chapters. Also, if you want to read more of my work in this fandom, I just posted my second "Grey's Anatomy" story yesterday. It's a one-shot called "Picking Up the Pieces", and it's a sort of missing scene between Meredith and Amelia after the season eleven finale. So definitely give that a look if you haven't yet. And as always, thanks for reading!


	19. Times You're In a Storm

Author's Note: This chapter takes place early in season seven before Lexie and Mark begin dating for the second time. That's really all you need to know. I really liked the idea of Lexie and Meredith having some sort of unofficial sleepover, and this chapter gave me a great way to do that. So this is basically just an average sisterly moment with some humor and fluff thrown in. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Eye of Your Storm" by Kyler England

* * *

 **Times You're In a Storm _  
_**

Working at a hospital, there are days that are hectic and then there are days that are a mind-numbing whirlwind. So far, Meredith's day (well, technically night) has been one of the latter. She's completely worn out. So when things finally slow down enough that she won't be needed for a while, she heads straight for an on-call room. She's halfway there when she catches sight of Lexie sitting in a chair with her head in her hands.

"You okay?" Meredith asks around a yawn. Lexie looks up and nods.

"I was gonna go get some sleep," she says, "but I sat down, and now I can't get up."

"Come on," Meredith says, holding out her hands. "You're coming with me."

Lexie takes her hands, and Meredith helps pull her to her feet. Then she starts off down the hall with Lexie trailing behind her. The on-call room is only a short distance away, and thankfully, it's empty when they arrive. Meredith doesn't even bother turning on the lights.

"Top or bottom?" she asks, looking at the bunk bed.

"Top," Lexie says wearily.

"Works for me," Meredith says.

She kicks off her shoes and collapses onto the bottom bunk. Lexie takes a bit longer. She leans against the wall while she pulls off her own footwear, which she then carries over to the bunk bed. She drops her shoes beside the ladder and climbs up it onto the top bunk. Meredith hears the blankets rustle as Lexie gets comfortable.

"I always wanted a bunk bed," Lexie says. She sounds slightly more alert now. "I could never talk Molly into it though. She was always afraid the top bunk would fall during the night and kill one of us."

Meredith rolls over into her back and puts her right arm under her head.

"You don't talk about her much," she says.

"Molly and I aren't super close," Lexie admits. The additional _"not like you and I"_ hangs unspoken in the air. "Don't get me wrong, I love her to death. But we're just really different. And besides, I don't want to make you feel awkward by bringing it up."

"It's not awkward," Meredith says. "Thatcher had another family. I've accepted that. And I really don't mind if you want to talk about it."

A light tapping sound starts against the window, and the top bunk creaks as Lexie sits up.

"Is it raining?" she asks.

She leans out off the top bunk so that she can catch hold of the blinds and pull them back. Meredith cranes her neck so she can see as well. The light from the streetlamps outside illuminates the outlines of raindrops sliding down the glass. The falling water catches the light and tosses it across the room, creating dancing shadows on the far wall.

"I love the sound of rain," Lexie says happily.

"Me too," Meredith says.

Lexie lets the blinds fall closed and settles back into her bunk. There comes a brief but sharp crack of light, followed by a reverberating crashing noise.

"I love storms too," Lexie says. "Molly used to hate them. When she was little, she would come into my room and spend the rest of the night in my bed. It was like having a sleepover."

Meredith can't help feeling a slight tingle of jealousy at the words. She hadn't minded being an only child. Really, she hadn't. But sometimes she wonders what it would have been like to have a sibling to share all those moments with.

"I guess this could be considered a sleepover," Lexie says suddenly, as if it's just occurred to her.

Just like that, Meredith's jealousy vanishes.

"I guess it could," she says with a smile.

There's another loud roll of thunder outside. The rain is getting louder, creating a soothing lullaby as the drops plink against the windowpane. Meredith closes her eyes and waits for it to lull her to sleep. The top bunk creaks a bit as Lexie rolls over. A few seconds later it happens again.

"Trouble sleeping?" Meredith asks without opening her eyes.

"Apparently," Lexie says.

She shifts her legs, causing the blankets to rustle. Meredith reopens her eyes. Clearly, she won't be getting any sleep unless Lexie does too.

"How are things with you and Mark?" Meredith asks, hazarding a guess as to the problem.

"They're not," Lexie says drily. So that is the problem.

"I thought you two were getting along again," Meredith says.

"We were," Lexie admits. "But he slept with Derek's sister."

"To be fair, you weren't exactly together at the time," Meredith points out.

"I know," Lexie says. She shifts around again, and Meredith can see the springs supporting the top bunk shift around as she does. "But still. Besides, we're both at completely different places in our lives now. And I think it's better for both of us if we just try and move on."

"Well, that's very mature of you," Meredith says.

"Thank you," Lexie says. She sounds like Meredith has finally affirmed something that Lexie wasn't entirely sure if she could believe.

"So if Mark's off the table, is there someone else you have in mind?" Meredith asks. She's pretty much awake now, so she might as well make the most of it.

"Not really," Lexie says. "I'm thinking about maybe taking a break from dating."

"Really," Meredith says in clear disbelief.

"Really," Lexie says indignantly. "I can handle not being with a guy for a while."

"Sure you can," Meredith says. But there's laughter in her voice.

"Whatever," Lexie says as she rolls over again. Then the only audible sound is the pitter patter of the rain outside.

"So there's really not anybody else?" Meredith presses after a few seconds of quiet.

"Really," Lexie says. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"It's just that there's some good looking doctors here, that's all," Meredith says. "Jackson Avery, for example."

"He is pretty good looking," Lexie admits.

"And you too seem to get along pretty well," Meredith adds.

"Jackson and I are just friends," Lexie says firmly.

"Sure," Meredith teases.

Lexie rolls over and looks down over the edge of the bunk at Meredith.

"There is nothing between Jackson and I," she says.

"Whatever you have to tell yourself," Meredith says with a knowing grin.

"There's not!" Lexie insists.

"He has really pretty eyes," Meredith says.

"Shut-up," Lexie says as she settles back onto her bunk.

"And a sweet smile," Meredith continues. This time Lexie's only answer is a groan. "Actually, he's pretty sweet in general."

Something comes flying off the top bunk and crashes into Meredith's face. It's a pillow. Lexie just threw a pillow at her head.

"Hey!" Meredith cries. She pulls the pillow off her face only to see Lexie hanging over the side of the top bunk with a wide smile on her face.

"Hah!" Lexie says triumphantly.

"You're not getting this back," Meredith says. She hugs the pillow to her chest to prove it. Lexie's smile falters suddenly as she realizes Meredith means it.

"Come on," she protests, reaching her hand down toward Meredith. "Give it back."

"No," Meredith says stubbornly.

"Please, Meredith," Lexie pleads. "I can't sleep without a pillow."

"Well, you should've thought of that before you threw it at my head," Meredith tells her.

"Crap," Lexie mutters. She rolls back onto her bunk, and for a moment Meredith thinks she's won. But then the ladder creaks and Lexie's feet come into view.

"What are you doing?" Meredith asks as she watches her sister climb down the ladder.

"You don't want to give my pillow back? Fine," Lexie says. Her feet hit the ground and she ducks her head into the space of the bottom bunk. "I'll just use yours. Scoot over."

"You wanted the top bunk," Meredith protests.

"This bed is plenty big enough for two," Lexie says as she sits down on the edge of the mattress. She gives Meredith's shoulder a shove. "Now move."

Meredith groans and shifts over a few inches. Lexie happily flops down on her back. Their shoulders are just barely touching, but they both manage to fit on the mattress.

"See?" Lexie says triumphantly. "Plenty of room."

Meredith responds by whacking her in the face with her former pillow.

"Ow!" Lexie cries. Meredith chuckles as the pillow falls onto the floor. "That was uncalled for."

"It was totally called for," Meredith tells her. "Besides, you hit me first."

"Fine," Lexie grumbles. She holds up her right hand. "Truce?"

"Truce," Meredith agrees. She takes Lexie's hand, and they shake on it.

Satisfied that she won't be attacked with another pillow, Lexie rests both of her hands idly on her stomach. Meredith resettles her own arm beneath her head. Then they both lay there in silence for a while, listening to the rain that's still falling. The occasional rumble of thunder only seems to add to the melody. Meredith's body slowly relaxes, and she's almost asleep when Lexie suddenly speaks up.

"Let's just assume for a minute that there was something between me and Jackson," she begins.

Meredith groans in frustration.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?" she asks.

"Technically, it is tomorrow," Lexie points out.

Meredith drapes her arm over her eyes as if that will somehow block out Lexie's voice.

"I need sleep," she moans.

"You can sleep in a minute," Lexie tells her. "This is important."

"Not as important as sleep," Meredith says.

"I'm just saying," Lexie tells her. "If there were something-"

"Go to sleep, Lexie," Meredith orders.

"Fine," Lexie mutters.

She rolls onto her right side and loops both of her arms around Meredith's left one as she settles her head against Meredith's shoulder. Meredith cracks her left eye open to see a smug smile on Lexie's face, but she decides not to comment. If this is what it takes for Lexie to finally go to sleep, then Meredith can make it work. Besides, it's actually rather nice having Lexie so close. Not that Meredith would ever admit it out loud, of course.

"G'night, Mer," Lexie says, her eyes already drifting closed.

"Night, Lex," Meredith says wearily.

A few minutes later they're both sound asleep.

* * *

Yes, I know it was fluffy. I regret nothing. And since you're down here, please leave a quick review before you go. The next chapter will be another average sort of moment in the life of the Grey sisters. It will also feature Derek and an appearance by Mark, who I have mostly left out of this story just because the show pretty much covered all there is to cover as far as his relationship with Lexie. But he'll get a cameo in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!


	20. Times I Keep You By My Side

Author's Note: This chapter takes place early in season six shortly after Lexie moves in with Mark. It's another one of my favorites. Just some good, old fashioned family fun. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Home" by Phillip Phillips

* * *

 **Times I Keep You By My Side** _  
_

Friday night means nothing on a hospital schedule. It's not like working a regular nine to five job. Work hours can be all over the board. Sometimes Friday night is free to spend with friends, and sometimes it's right in the middle of a twenty-four-hour shift. But this week, thankfully, it's the former. Meredith and Derek are both free, and they've invited Mark and Lexie over for dinner. Meredith's been looking forward to it all week. It's only been a month since Lexie moved out, and they do see each other all the time at work, but it's not quite the same as living together. Having Lexie back at the house will be nice, even if it's only for one evening.

They grill burgers outside on the back porch. Or more accurately, Mark and Derek grill burgers. Meredith and Lexie mostly just hang around the grill talking. Somehow Mark ends up telling them about a time Derek that gave the grill way too much fuel and nearly burned his eyebrows off. Lexie thinks it's hysterical. Derek is far less amused, so he quickly counters with an equally funny story about Mark. And just like that, they're off. The friendly back and forth continues until they finally take the last burger off the grill and sit down to eat.

The burgers are delicious. Lexie says as much after almost every bite. There was a time that would've driven Meredith crazy, but now it just makes her laugh. After the burgers, they have brownies that Meredith managed to make without incident (mostly because they came out of a mix, but still), and then it's Mark carrying on about how good the food is. He and Lexie certainly make quite a pair.

Somehow the topic of football comes up at some point, and the next thing Meredith knows Derek has dug a football out of the garage and they're all standing on the grass. They decide that the two teams should be the existing couples, pitting Meredith and Derek against Lexie and Mark. Lexie, as it turns out, has never thrown a football before. But she quickly proves to be a natural. And she's fast, too. Meredith can usually manage to block her, but Lexie definitely makes her work for it.

Since they only have four players, there's no real coordination or set plays. One team gets the ball, and they then proceed to do whatever they have to in order to get it to the other end of the yard. Touchdowns are scored by touching the ball to the fence. And there are no automatic turnovers. If someone wants the ball, they have to take it. It's a little chaotic, but it's also tremendous fun. Derek and Meredith kiss every time they make a touchdown. Mark actually picks Lexie up at one point and manages to make a stumbling run with her the rest of the way across the yard to the fence. Meredith is laughing far too hard to try and stop him. That must give Derek an idea, because the next time Lexie tries to run past him, he just picks her up and spins her around until she drops the ball. Neither one of them can walk straight for a few seconds afterward, much to the amusement of Meredith and Mark.

The score (which Derek and Mark are both keeping very adamant track of) stays pretty evenly matched for the whole game. But little by little, Mark and Lexie start to pull out. They're one touchdown away from the agreed score limit when Derek quite literally drops the ball. He's just caught a pass from Meredith, but Lexie comes out of nowhere and slaps it out of his hands. Then she scoops it up from the grass and takes off across the yard.

"Hey!" Derek yells in surprise.

Lexie runs for all she's worth, and Derek immediately gives chase. He very nearly gets her, too. But then Mark steps in front of him and grabs him by the shoulders, and suddenly they're in a pushing contest that neither of them can win.

"Run, Lexie!" Mark yells.

"Get her!" Derek calls to Meredith. "You have to get her!"

Meredith runs forward to intercept. She puts herself right in front of Lexie, but Lexie spins into a sidestep and comes out around her. Meredith, however, is not to be deterred. She takes a few more running steps and manages to grab hold of Lexie from behind, effectively trapping her in place. It quickly turns into a wrestling match as Lexie tries to break free and Meredith fights to knock the ball loose. Lexie is laughing so hard it's a wonder she can still keep hold of it.

"Mark!" she yells amid her laughter. "Mark, help!"

"I'm coming!" Mark yells.

He steps away from holding Derek, and the sudden lack of resistance causes Derek to fall forward onto the grass. He's not the only one to hit the dirt. Meredith's leg somehow gets wrapped around Lexie's, and then they're both on the ground too. The short drop jolts the ball, and Lexie very nearly drops it. But suddenly Mark is beside them. Somehow Lexie manages to make a clumsy pass to him, even as Meredith tries to hold her down.

"Go!" Lexie cries.

Mark takes off. Derek is just now pushing himself up and Meredith's limbs are still tangled up with Lexie's, so there's no one to stop Mark as he runs the rest of the length of the short yard. He touches the ball to the wooden fence and then slams it against the ground with a victorious yell. Lexie has managed to push herself into a sitting position, and she throws her fists up into the air.

"Yes!" she yells as she falls back onto the grass.

Meredith just groans wearily from the ground. She's too exhausted to even think about moving from this spot. Further down the yard, Derek has managed to get himself partway up, but now he just lets himself drop back onto the grass in defeat.

"That," Lexie gasps, still out of breath from her tussle with Meredith, "was amazing."

"You're just saying that because you won," Meredith says.

"No, I'm not," Lexie says enthusiastically. "My family never did things like this."

Meredith looks over at her in surprise. This is the first time that Lexie has ever sounded like she thinks she missed out on something during her childhood.

"Neither did mine," Meredith admits. Then she adds, "But they do now."

Before Lexie can reply, a shadow falls over both of them. They look up to see Mark standing there breathing heavily.

"Let me help you ladies up," he says, holding out both of his hands.

Meredith and Lexie take his proffered hands, and Mark pulls them to their feet.

"Hey," Derek calls from where he's still laying on the grass. "Somebody come help the old guy."

Mark chuckles and heads over to him. Meredith puts her hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. Lexie is breathing heavily too, but there's a smile on her face. Mark reaches Derek a few steps later and holds out his hand. But instead of getting up, Derek gives it a sharp tug and pulls Mark down onto the ground with him. Then they're both laying there laughing like idiots.

"Men," Meredith says with a shake of her head.

"Yeah," Lexie agrees. She looks over at Meredith, her expression suddenly serious, and blurts out, "I'm glad we're family."

Meredith straightens and smiles over at her sister.

"So am I, Lexie," she says honestly. She turns her gaze back to where Mark and Derek are still laughing on the grass. "So am I."

* * *

I know I probably sound like a broken record, but please review. Reviews make my day. The next chapter will be a more serious one. It also marks the beginning of the last stanza of the song. There are either three or four more chapters left depending on how I decide to do it, plus an epilogue that picks up where the prologue ended. This project seemed so big when I started it, and now it's about 80% done. Crazy. But there's still a few good moments left to go before it ends, so be sure to come back for those. Thanks for reading!


	21. Times You've Fallen

Author's Note: This chapter takes place in season 7 somewhere before episode 6, and it looks at some of the more lasting impacts of the shooting. I know I've already done two chapters related to the shooting, but I really felt like this story needed one more. Some of the characters, such as Meredith and Cristina, are shown trying to deal with it in the long time. When it came to Lexie, however, the issue was never really mentioned that much after her breakdown in the ER. I really wanted to see how it might have affected her a few months down the line. Hence this chapter. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Unsteady" by X Ambassadors

* * *

 **Times You've Fallen _  
_**

It's the middle of a busy afternoon, and Meredith has just sat down in the hallway to catch her breath when Cristina comes looking for her.

"Lexie needs you," Cristina says with no preamble whatsoever.

"Why?" Meredith asks in confusion. "What happened?"

"Some idiot kid in the waiting room," Cristina says angrily. "He was playing with a plastic gun from some space movie. Very clearly not real. Anyway, Lexie asked his father to have him put it away, and then the kid pointed it at her and she lost it. Froze up, started hyperventilating. Classic PTSD."

It's understandable that something like that might be triggering. The shooting at the hospital may have been just over four months ago, but the psychological wounds are still raw.

"Is she okay?" Meredith asks quickly.

"She's hiding in an on-call room," Cristina says. She sounds highly sympathetic, which makes sense considering her struggle with her own PTSD. "Kepner's standing guard. I would've gone in after her, but… I think it should be you."

"Take me to her," Meredith says, pushing herself to her feet.

Neither of them says a word as Cristina leads the way through a short maze of hallways. It doesn't take long before they run into April. She's standing outside a closed door looking extremely nervous, but her tension seems to ease a little when she sees Cristina and Meredith coming her way.

"There you are," April says in relief. "She hasn't come out. I think something's really wrong."

"Of course something's wrong," Cristina says irritably. "She almost got shot."

"How long has she been in there?" Meredith asks, ignoring Cristina's comment.

"About ten minutes," April says. She's fidgeting. Apparently she's worried about Lexie too.

"Can you make sure nobody else comes in?" Meredith asks. April immediately nods.

"We got it," Cristina tells her. "Go."

Meredith pushes the door open and slips into the room beyond. It's dark inside, but there's just enough sunlight filtering through the closed blinds for Meredith to see Lexie sitting on the bottom bunk. She has her knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped tightly around them. Her head jerks up when the door opens, and her hand flies up to her face as she quickly tries to erase the evidence. But by then it's too late. Meredith has already seen that she's crying.

"Lexie?" she asks softly as she closes the door behind her. The only response she gets is a choked back sob.

Meredith walks over to the bed and carefully sits down. Lexie immediately turns her face away. She's gasping ever so slightly as she fights to get herself under control.

"Cristina told me what happened," Meredith says. "Are you okay?"

Lexie nods, and she turns her head a bit so she's facing straight ahead instead of directly away from Meredith. But it only takes one look at her to know she's lying. Meredith reaches out and lays a comforting hand against Lexie's back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks.

Lexie glances briefly at Meredith and then away again as a shaky exhale escapes her.

"I don't know what happened," she says, her voice hoarse from crying. "There was a little boy, and he had this stupid toy gun, and then suddenly I was looking at Gary Clark, and I just…" She holds up her hand and turns it into a fist before dropping it against her knee. "I couldn't breathe, Meredith."

"It's okay," Meredith tells her gently.

"It's not okay," Lexie insists. "It's been four months. I should be fine. Everybody else is fine."

"Everybody is not fine," Meredith says.

Lexie finally turns her head to look over at Meredith. Her pleading eyes are red and her face is streaked with tears.

"None of us are fine," Meredith continues. "Cristina's legs still get shaky before she goes into an OR. Jackson has nightmares half the time. Alex still tenses up in the elevator. The other day April accidentally walked into the closet where she found Reed, and it took her almost fifteen minutes to stop hyperventilating. Jackson thought she was gonna pass out. Derek still drives way too fast sometimes just to make sure he's still alive. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and he's so still that I can't breathe for a minute because I'm scared that he's dead. Callie can barely let Arizona out of her sight, sudden noises make Owen panic, Arizona can't stand to hear the word 'gun', and Bailey has to leave the room whenever anyone mentions Charles. None of us are okay, Lexie. And that's fine. Healing takes time. We don't have to be okay yet. You don't have to be okay. Alright?"

Lexie forces herself to nod. Meredith smiles sadly at her in the dim light.

"Do you want a hug?" she asks.

Lexie wipes her eyes before nodding again. Meredith complies, scooting over and putting her arms around Lexie in a warm embrace. Lexie drops her legs off the side of the bed so she can lean into Meredith and rest her chin on her sister's shoulder. Her arms wrap themselves tightly around Meredith's waist. The pace of her breathing has started to pick up as she tries to hold back her tears. Meredith brings her left hand up to the back of Lexie's head and starts running her right hand up and down her sister's back.

"It's okay," Meredith says softly. "I'm right here."

The words seem to serve as some kind of catalyst. Lexie's head shifts so her face is pressed into Meredith's shoulder. Her arms tighten reflexively around Meredith's waist as her shoulders begin to tremble. And then come the tears. Meredith doesn't say a word as Lexie cries silently into her shoulder. It doesn't last for very long. Lexie must have used up most of her emotional energy before Meredith got there. It can't be more than a few minutes before her ragged breaths begin to even out. Meredith can feel the tension slowly seeping out of Lexie's body as the feeling of safety begins to sink in. Finally Lexie tilts her head back up so her chin is once more resting against Meredith's shoulder.

"You okay?" Meredith asks. Lexie nods wordlessly into her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Lexie says. Her voice is hoarse, but steady. Her arms release Meredith's waist as she pulls back. Meredith studies Lexie's eyes in the dim light, trying to determine whether she means it.

"You ready to go back out there?" Meredith asks. Lexie hesitates.

"Can we stay here a little longer?" she asks timidly.

Normally, Meredith is all for dusting Lexie off and pushing her back out into the world. But this time it isn't just about a simple break-up. What Lexie went through, what they all went through, was beyond traumatic. And aside from the incident with the psych ward, Lexie has been coping remarkably well. So if she needs a few minutes to catch her breath, Meredith is more than willing to give it to her.

"Sure," Meredith says.

She scoots back a bit so she can lean against the wall. Lexie does the same, and her head comes back to rest on Meredith's shoulder once more. Meredith tilts her own head to rest atop Lexie's. Then she reaches over into Lexie's lap and takes hold of her sister's hand, intertwining their fingers.

"We can stay here as long as you want," she says.

* * *

You guys know the drill. If you liked it, please leave a review. Writers such as myself put a lot of work into our stories, and reviewing is a great way to pay us back. Thanks!


	22. Times You Fear I'll Forsake You

Author's Note: This chapter takes place after 6x22. Lexie and Alex have now decided that they are officially girlfriend and boyfriend. Knowing both of them and their track records, I think Meredith might decide she needs to say something to Alex about not breaking her little sister's heart. I'm not really sure how in character this chapter is, but I really wanted to see Meredith being protective of Lexie. I always loved those scenes, and there were far too few. Also, Alex had made a comment earlier to Meredith about trying to settle down and be more domestic, and he made it a metaphor by saying he was becoming a duck. I think that's about all you need to know for this chapter. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "I'll Keep You Safe" by Sleeping At Last

* * *

 **Times You Fear I'll Forsake You _  
_**

Tonight is one of those rare nights when Meredith gets home not feeling totally exhausted. Most everybody else headed over to Joe's, so the house is empty when she and Derek get home. And instead of partying, they're going to capitalize on the peace by climbing in bed and looking over the plans for the new house. Meredith decides she must be getting old if that sounds like the better deal.

They've just gone upstairs after finishing the pizza they ordered when the front door opens and closes. Cheerful voices drift up the stairs. Apparently Lexie and Alex are back. So much for Meredith and Derek having the place to themselves. Oh well. They're used to it by now.

Derek has opted to take a quick shower, so Meredith heads downstairs to refill her water bottle. She gets to the bottom of the stairs just as Alex comes out of the kitchen.

"You're back early," Meredith says curiously.

"We had a drink and decided to come back," Alex explains with a shrug. "Spend some time together or something."

"You really are turning into a duck," Meredith says with a smile.

"Sure looks like it," Alex says.

He steps past Meredith and starts up the stairs. Meredith takes one step toward the kitchen before turning back around.

"Hey, Alex?" she says. Alex turns around on the third stair.

"Yeah?" he says curiously.

"I know you and Lexie are both adults," Meredith says, "and I'm glad that you're happy together. And that you're finally acting like a duck. But if you two are really serious about this, then there's something I have to say."

Alex comes back down the first three stairs so he's standing on front of Meredith.

"Okay," he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Most of the time, I try to stay out of your love life," Meredith tells him. "I don't care who you sleep with or whose heart you break. But Lexie is not just some girl you brought home from a bar. She's my sister. And I know that deep down you're a good guy. And from the way you've acted around her lately, I think you really do care about her. But here's the thing about Lexie: she has a lot of feelings. She's sweet and emotional. And I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, because it's not. It's part of what I love about her. But she gets attached. And right now she's attached to you. This thing between the two of you? It's a thing now. It's a real, actual thing. Lexie is invested in you. And I'm glad. But she just got over having her heart broken. And if you break it again, I just might have to kill you. And I really don't want to do that. So don't hurt her, okay?"

"I can't promise you that," Alex says honestly. "You know me. I'm not good at this. But I do care about her, Mer. I really do. And I'm gonna try really hard not to hurt her."

"You better," Meredith says. Her eyes narrow threateningly. "You're one of my best friends in the whole world, and I love you like a brother. But Lexie is my sister. My little sister. And if you hurt her, then so help me, Alex-"

"Meredith," Alex says, calmly interrupting her rant. "I promise that I will try not to hurt her. For her sake and yours."

"Good," Meredith says with a firm nod.

"Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna go to my room," Alex says. He starts back up the stairs for the second time. "Good night, Meredith."

"Good night," Meredith says. She stands there at the bottom for a moment, still not completely sure what just happened. As Alex nears the top of the stairs, she calls up, "Alex?"

Alex sighs and turns back around.

"What?" he says wearily.

"You don't get hurt either, okay?" Meredith says.

The corners of Alex's mouth pull up a little at her concern.

"I'll try," he repeats.

"You better," Meredith says, returning the smile.

She turns away and resumes her previous course as Alex finally reaches the top of the stairs. Meredith only makes it one step into the kitchen before pausing in her tracks. Lexie is standing against the far side of the bar with a glass of water in her hand. Her lips are pressed tightly together in a desperate effort not to smile, but her eyes are giving her away. Meredith sighs.

"How much of that did you hear?" she asks as she heads over to the sink.

"All of it," Lexie admits.

Meredith can feel Lexie's gaze on her back as she silently fills up her water bottle. She screws the lid back on and turns around to find that same not-quite-grin staring back at her.

"What?" Meredith asks in exasperation.

"Nothing," Lexie says quickly. It's just almost believable. But then her grin finally breaks through. "I'm just new at this. Having a big sister to put my boyfriends in their place." Her eyes widen and a small laugh escapes her. "I have a big sister. I mean, I knew I had an older sister. But I actually have a big sister. A vengeful, protective, 'break her and I'll break you' big sister."

She's smiling like she's just won the lottery. This is not at all the reaction Meredith was expecting. Although maybe it should've been. This is Lexie, after all.

"I guess you do," Meredith says with an amused smirk.

"Wow," Lexie says. She shakes her head in amazement. "I could've used you back in high school. There was this one guy that I went out with in tenth grade-"

She stops abruptly and her lips press back together.

"And?" Meredith asks curiously. She leans back against the counter to get more comfortable. "What did he do?"

"I'm not sure if I should tell you," Lexie says. Her eyebrows knit together in worry. "You and Cristina might go find him and kill him. And as much as he might deserve it, I'd rather not have to visit you in prison."

"Fair enough," Meredith says.

"And just so you know," Lexie says, suddenly serious, "I'm gonna try really hard not to screw this up. Things with me and Alex, I mean. I care about him. I care about him a lot. And I really want things to work out between us. So I'm gonna try really hard to make sure this doesn't all explode."

"That's very generous of you," Meredith says drily.

"I just don't want to make things awkward for you," Lexie says. "Alex is one of your best friends, and I don't want to put you in a position where you have to pick a side."

"Good," Meredith says. "Because I'd probably just throttle both of you."

Lexie grins at the mental image. She very carefully sets her glass of water down on the bar behind her, and then she surges forward and wraps her arms tightly around Meredith's neck. The sudden motion catches Meredith a bit off guard. She stands there in surprise for a second before putting her own arms around Lexie.

"You're a good sister," Lexie says warmly.

"You too," Meredith says in a slightly more awkward tone.

Lexie pulls away and hooks her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the stairs.

"I'm gonna go upstairs now," she says.

"Okay," Meredith says.

Lexie picks up her glass off the counter and gives her sister a final parting smile before walking back across the kitchen. She's almost to the door when Meredith blurts out, "Lexie?"

"Yeah?" Lexie says, turning back around.

"I love you," Meredith says.

Lexie's mouth curves up into that big beautiful smile Meredith loves so much. Suddenly Meredith finds herself wondering if she should say the words more. She knows that Lexie knows. But it can't hurt for Meredith to reinforce it every now and then.

"I love you too," Lexie says warmly. "Good night, Meredith."

"G'night," Meredith says. "I'll see you in the morning."

Lexie disappears out of the kitchen, and Meredith can hear her climbing up the stairs. Only once an upstairs door has opened and closed does Meredith finally allow herself to shake her head.

"What just happened?" she asks.

The kitchen offers no answer. Finally Meredith sighs and heads for the stairs. She loves Lexie like crazy, but sometimes Meredith has to wonder if she will ever truly understand her sister.

* * *

Feed the bard, as they say. Any and all reviews are welcome payment. This story is very nearly over now. There are two final chapters remaining before the epilogue. Unfortunately, I'll be out of song lyrics at that point, so there's not really any chance of me taking this story further. Although there's always a chance for standalone one-shots, so who knows? Maybe I'll do some more writing for this fandom in the future. But there's still three updates of this story left to go, so be sure and come back for those. Thanks for reading!


	23. Times You Think My Love Will End

Author's Note: This chapter takes place early in the time frame of 8x23 after the fifth year residents have passed their exams and returned home. After Lexie worked so hard to get into Meredith's life, I wanted to see her take on the possibility of Meredith moving away. This was originally going to be the last technical chapter since the last line of the song is almost exactly the same as this one. Because of that, this chapter feels a lot like an ending chapter. But then I had an idea that I really loved for the final lyric, so there's still one more chapter to come. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "(Say) All I Need" by OneRepublic

* * *

 **Times You Think My Love Will End _  
_**

It's official. All these years of hard work have finally paid off. Meredith is no longer a resident. She's finally arrived. And now that she's here, she has to decide where exactly she wants "here" to be. She lays awake half the night trying to figure it out. The options are still rolling around in her mind like bowling balls when she heads downstairs the next morning.

Lexie is already up when Meredith reaches the kitchen. She's sitting at the bar in her pajamas with a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other.

"Morning," she says without looking up.

"Whatcha reading?" Meredith asks as she heads for the coffeemaker.

"This time travel series by Justine Campbell," Lexie says. Her eyes still haven't left the page.

Meredith takes a mug out of the cabinet and glances over at her sister.

"You're pretty into those," she says.

"Because they're amazing," Lexie says. The book finally comes down as Lexie closes it and sets it on the counter so she can focus all her attention on Meredith. "The heroine is smart and funny, and she's bouncing back and forth between 1890's France and World War 2 Europe, and she's torn between these two men – Alexander, who she loves but can't trust, and Nathan, who is the best guy ever but Kate's not sure she really loves. It's just this incredible story. The only problem is that Justine ruined the ending for me. I know that Kate ends up with Alexander. Which is really not fair, because Nathan is the sweetest guy and the one she should be with. But Kate can't seem to get that through her head."

Meredith has been staring at Lexie in amazement throughout the whole spiel, and now she shakes her head.

"I've never seen you so excited about a book," she says as she sets down her mug.

"I think I relate to them a little too much," Lexie says, looking down at the book cover. "Well, obviously I don't relate to the Nazis or industrial France. Or even to the adventure part, really. But Kate… I don't know. She just grabs me."

Meredith sets her crossed arms on the opposite side of the bar and leans on them.

"You think it has anything to do with her being 'torn between two men'?" she asks knowingly.

"That may have been what started it," Lexie admits.

Meredith just smiles as she picks up her mug and turns around to the coffeemaker. Lexie stays silent, mulling over the idea while Meredith pours her coffee.

"I told Mark I love him," Lexie blurts out.

Meredith turns around in surprise with her mug in one hand and the coffeepot still in the other.

"It just came out," Lexie says with a wince. "Actually, I'd been trying to say it for a while, and it hadn't been coming out at all, and then all of a sudden it just did. And it was so mortifying, but it was also just such a relief to have finally said it."

"What did he say?" Meredith asks. She sets the coffeepot down behind her and steps forward so she's standing with her mug over the bar.

"Nothing," Lexie says dejectedly. "I bared my soul, and he just stood there staring at me. And then Julia came out of the lobby. So finally Mark said something about thanking me for being honest or whatever. And then he just left with her. It was terrible. And now I feel like such an idiot because he obviously doesn't feel the same way. And I have to see him at the hospital. I just vomited my feelings all over him, and now I have to go to work and see him everywhere. I just want to crawl in a hole and die."

Lexie picks up the book and drops her head against it to hide her face.

"That might be just a little bit dramatic," Meredith says with a hint of a smile.

"I know," Lexie says, lifting her head. "But how are we supposed to work together after that? I can't even look at him." She drops her head back onto the book and groans. Then she suddenly jerks back up with wide eyes. "Justine was right. Kate does end up with Alexander."

"I don't know anything about Kate and Alexander," Meredith says, "but I do know you and Mark. Things between you two are always messy. But you'll figure it out. Either something will happen and you'll get back together, or you'll find someone else that makes you forget about him."

"How can you always make it sound so simple?" Lexie asks.

"I have a gift," Meredith tells her before taking a drink of her coffee.

"Now you really can't leave," Lexie says, putting the book back on the counter. "How am I supposed to figure out my life without you around to talk to?"

"Who says I'm leaving?" Meredith asks.

"Derek seems pretty sure that you are," Lexie says.

"Well, I'm not planning on going anywhere," Meredith says firmly.

"You two need to get your story straight," Lexie tells her. "And sooner would be better. If I have to get a new place, I'd like enough notice that I can actually find one instead of ending up on the curb."

"Okay, first of all, you would not end up on the curb," Meredith tells her. "If we do end up moving, then you could still live here. This is my mother's home. I don't want to sell it. You could stay here and look after it for me. And second, I'm not moving."

"Are you sure?" Lexie asks. Her gaze drops to the book in front of her. "Boston would be an amazing opportunity. And Derek's pretty excited about Harvard."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Meredith teases.

"No," Lexie says quickly. Her wide eyes made it clear that she's shocked by the very suggestion. "Gosh, no. I don't want you to go at all. You and Derek and Zola, you're my home. Molly's half a world away, and Dad has his new girlfriend, and you guys are it. I can't even imagine being in this city without you. Working at the hospital without you. It would just be wrong. I can't imagine not having this." She gestures at the space between herself and Meredith. "I told you once that you had failed me as a sister, and back then, maybe you had. But now we have this amazing relationship. And we worked hard for it. And if you go away…" She trails off briefly before quietly admitting, "I don't want to lose this."

Meredith sets her mug down and puts her hands down face-up on bar, opening and closing her fingers in a silent signal for Lexie to take her hands. Lexie sighs before putting her hands on top of Meredith's. Meredith takes tight hold of Lexie's hands and smiles across the bar at her.

"Lexie, we're sisters," Meredith says. "We share the same DNA. And we can never lose that. And no matter what happens, whether Derek and I stay or go, you and I are still going to have a relationship. It may take a little more effort, and you may have to talk to me about Mark over the phone." That draws a hint of a smile from Lexie. Meredith responds by lifting their joined hands slightly off the bar to illustrate her next point. "But this? This is never going away. You will always be my sister. You're my Little Grey. And no amount of distance will ever change that."

"Okay," Lexie says softly. She looks a little more at ease now.

"But I'm still not planning on going anywhere," Meredith adds.

"Good," Lexie says with a smile. "Because I would miss you way too much."

"I'd miss you too," Meredith honestly. She gives Lexie's hands a final squeeze before letting go. Then she drops her palms against the countertop. "Now. Want to help me make breakfast?"

"You're not making omelets again, are you?" Lexie asks warily.

"No," Meredith says, making an indignant face. "I'm making muffins from a box. What could possibly go wrong?"

A lot, as it turns out. By the time Derek comes downstairs with Zola, there's muffin mix spilled across the counter and Meredith and Lexie are fighting to smear it on each other's faces. They both look completely ridiculous, but they're laughing too hard to care. Derek just shakes his head in amazement.

As Meredith chases Lexie around the bar with her fingers coated in powder, there's one thing she knows for sure: she doesn't want to lose this either. So if she and Derek do move (and at this point that's a very big 'if'), then Meredith will be doing everything in her power to hold onto it.

* * *

Reviews make the world go round. Okay, not really. But you get the point. The final chapter of this story will be up in two days as per usual. It involves all the season seven residents of Meredith's house going camping together (Meredith, Derek, Lexie, Alex, Jackson, and April), and it just might be my very favorite chapter in this series. After that comes the epilogue, and then this story will be at its end. So be sure to come back for those final two installments. Thanks for reading!


	24. Times You Never Want to End

Author's Note: This is the last technical chapter of this story. There's still an epilogue to come, but it will go back to Meredith right after Lexie's funeral. So this is the last of Meredith's memories and therefore the last Lexie scene of this story. It's set early in season seven before Mark and Lexie resume dating. It's pretty much just straight up fun among the season seven residents of the Frat House. There are still some good Meredith and Lexie bits, but you may have to squint a little to catch some of them. In a way, this chapter is almost its own sort of epilogue because I really wanted to end on a memory that had a sense of infinity rather than finality. I think those especially are the types of memories that Meredith would treasure most about her sister. So without any further ado, here it is - the last official chapter. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Arctic" by Sleeping at Last for the first half and "Indian" also by Sleeping at Last for the second  
(Yes, I realize that's two songs. It's the last chapter. I can do what I want.)

* * *

 **Times You Never Want to End _  
_**

It's April, of all people, who suggests that they go camping. Granted, it's more of an off-handed comment as she walks out of the kitchen one morning with a partially peeled orange in her hand. But Derek immediately latches onto the idea. Alex and Lexie, who are finally back on good terms, quickly follow suit. And the next thing Meredith knows, all six residents of her house (herself included) are packing their bags and driving out of the city to spend their free weekend in the woods together.

Their first evening out in nature is pretty standard camping fare. They pitch their tents (one for the boys and one for the girls), play some football while there's still light, roast hotdogs on a campfire, make s'mores, and stay up far too late drinking beer and telling stories beneath the stars. When they finally trickle into their respective tents, everyone is out within a matter of minutes.

The next morning Derek makes coffee and bacon over the fire. There's a lake nearby, and he rented some fishing equipment ahead of time so they could all give it a go. Meredith initially isn't too thrilled with the idea of fishing. But while she doesn't end up catching anything, the morning actually proves to be highly entertaining. April gets extremely animated whenever her line catches something. Most of the time it's not actually a fish, but that does nothing to dampen her excitement. A couple of Lexie's fish almost take off with her pole. Alex keeps getting his hook stuck in the trees behind him, at which point he then has to climb up and get them. Jackson, on the other hand, proves to be a natural. He reels in more fish than all of them put together. Personally, Meredith starts to wonder if it's not just the same stupid fish over and over. Derek only manages to get a few fish himself, but it's more about the experience for him anyway. And the constant smile on his face says just how much he's enjoying this.

They head back to the campsite for lunch. The lake has a catch-and-release rule, so they have sandwiches instead of fish. But no one really minds. Once everyone has eaten enough, they head back to the lake with their swimsuits on under their clothes. Alex somehow ends up at the front of the pack, and he wants to hike up the bluff a short ways down the lake. It doesn't take them long to reach the top. And once they do, the view is magnificent. The lake is spread out before them in all its blue glory, and the reflections of the clouds sail along the top of the water. The trees surrounding the lake are alive with green. It looks like something from a postcard or a motivational poster.

"This is amazing," April breathes.

Alex walks over to the edge and looks down at the water. When he turns back around, there's a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"I know that look," Meredith says with narrowed eyes.

"Well, we did come out here to swim," Alex points out.

"You're not actually gonna jump, are you?" Lexie asks in disbelief.

Alex's grin is answer enough for all of them.

"Last one down is a sissy," Alex says.

Before any of them can react, he's off the ledge and falling. The other five rush to the edge in time to see him hit the water below with a resounding splash. Meredith can feel them all holding their breaths as they wait to see if he'll come up. A second later he does. He lets out a victorious whoop as he shakes the water from his hair.

"Come on!" he yells.

"He's insane," April says in shock.

"Oh, for sure," Jackson agrees. "But for once, I think he's got the right idea."

And then he's over as well, executing a perfectly graceful swan dive in the process. The splash from his impact sends water all over Alex again. Jackson's head resurfaces in short order. He's laughing as he looks back up at the top of the bluff.

"Who's next?" Alex yells up.

"Me," April blurts out.

Lexie's eyebrows lift in surprise, but April doesn't notice. She takes a deep breath and lets it out. Then she's jumping out over the water. She shrieks the whole way down, her limbs flailing madly. Somehow she manages to pull her body into a straight line just before she hits the water. She's sputtering madly as her head comes up.

"That was awesome!" she yells once her mouth is empty of water.

Atop the bluff, Derek looks over at Meredith and shrugs.

"You only live once," he says.

He jumps off after the others. He tucks all his limbs into his body, hitting the water in a cannonball that drenches the three people already down there. And then Meredith and Lexie are the only ones left atop the cliff.

"Who's going first?" Meredith asks.

Lexie steps hesitantly up to the edge and takes a good look over the edge.

"That's kinda high," she says nervously.

"I wouldn't let you do it if I didn't think you'd be okay," Meredith tells her.

"I know," Lexie says. But she still hesitates. "I just sort of have a thing about heights."

In response, Meredith holds out her hand.

"Together?" she asks.

Lexie takes her proffered hand in a tight grip.

"Together," she says shakily.

"On three," Meredith says.

They step up to the edge and begin to count together.

"One. Two. Three!"

They leap with all their might, pushing themselves out as far from the edge as possible. And then they're falling down toward the water. The feeling of air flying past them is terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. To her credit, Lexie doesn't scream. Their hands separate somewhere in the air, so they're no longer connected when they hit the water. Liquid rushes into Meredith's ears as she sinks into the blue depths. She gives a few good kicks to push herself back up. Her head breaks the surface, and she can't help laughing a little at the rush.

Lexie resurfaces right after Meredith.

"I can't believe I just did that!" she yells.

"Best trip ever!" April shouts with her usual excitement.

Derek sends a small wave of water crashing into Alex's face, and then all hell breaks loose. Suddenly everyone is yelling and splashing everyone else. As Meredith tries to avoid getting lake water in her mouth, she finds herself having to agree with April. This just might be the best trip ever.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

They head back to the campsite before dark. Everyone but Alex thought to bring a spare pair of clothes, so they all change into dry garments. Alex just strips down to his swim trunks and hangs out near the warm fire until they dry.

Dinner consists of ravioli cooked over the fire. Meredith didn't really know that was a camping thing, but Derek insists his family did it all the time when he was growing up. Once the food is gone, people are left to their own devices. Meredith and Derek move back a bit and talk while they drink hot chocolate and watch the other inhabitants of their house interact. Lexie and Jackson sit around the campfire while they try to make the perfect s'more. April stands around them chattering for a while before Alex finally gets bored and shoots her with one of the nerf guns he brought. April tries to return fire with another gun, but Alex is by far the better shot. What results is April running around yelling at him while he shoots at her over his shoulder. Finally Derek takes pity on her and gets to his feet.

"I better go help her out," he says with a smile.

He gives Meredith a quick kiss before heading over to the open car trunk where the rest of the nerf guns are waiting. Meredith doesn't have any time to get lonely because Lexie comes over a moment later with two s'mores in her hands and sits down in Derek's spot.

"Here," she says, holding out a s'more to Meredith.

Meredith takes the proffered treat, but she frowns a little when she notices the black crust covering the edges of the runny marshmallow inside.

"You charred it," she says.

"They're better that way," Lexie assures her. She's already taken a bit of hers, and there's a spot of chocolate on her cheek.

"Burned to a crisp?" Meredith says drily.

"Just try it," Lexie says around a mouthful of s'more. She swallows before adding, "Dad always made them like this when we went camping. Which we really only did a few times. And about half of them were just in the backyard, but still."

It's one of the few times Meredith has heard Lexie bring up their father without immediately apologizing afterwards. Suddenly the s'more in her hands is far more than just a burnt desert. It's a piece of the childhood Meredith could have had. Lexie is happily munching away on her own s'more, completely oblivious to what she has just handed her sister. But to Meredith it means the world.

She lifts the s'more to her mouth and takes a careful bite. There's just the barest hint of a smoky taste hiding behind the chocolate, but it's barely even noticeable. In fact, it's actually quite delicious.

"Wow," Meredith says in surprise. "That's really good."

"I told you," Lexie says with a grin. "Dad was always really good at those. Which is weird because he was terrible at hotdogs. Seriously terrible. He caught most of them on fire. They'd be burnt them so bad you couldn't even eat them. Mom always had to bring extra food so we didn't starve."

Meredith can't help laughing a little at the mental image of Thatcher holding a stick with a flaming hotdog on the end. Sometimes listening to Lexie talk about Thatcher makes her a bit uncomfortable. But right now it's like looking through a window at what might have been. And for once, Meredith is grateful to Lexie for giving her that glimpse, however small it might be.

She and Lexie fall silent, both lost in their own thoughts as they eat their s'mores. Alex is still running across the campsite in his swim trunks and damp T-shirt, but this time he's running away rather than taunting. Derek's help has managed to tilt the odds securely in April's favor.

Lexie sighs contentedly as she finishes licking melted chocolate off her fingers.

"I love it out here," she says, looking up at the stars overhead. "I wish this moment could just last forever."

"Who knows?" Meredith says drily. "Maybe while we're sleeping the laws of physics will disintegrate, time will cease to exist, and we'll be trapped here for all eternity in this little bubble."

"I don't think I'd mind too much," Lexie says with a smile.

"Me neither," Meredith admits.

Any further conversation is cut off by a nerf dart colliding with Meredith's stomach. She looks up in surprise as Derek staggers to a halt in front of her.

"I'm sorry," he says with an apologetic chuckle.

April is right behind him, and a devilish gleam suddenly enters her eyes. She points her gun at Lexie and pulls the trigger. Lexie's mouth falls open in shock as a nerf dart collides with her forehead.

"I'm not," April says defiantly.

Lexie's eyes narrow dangerously.

"You are a dead woman," she says, causing April to gulp. Lexie looks over at Meredith. "Trunk?"

"Trunk," Meredith agrees.

She and Lexie leap to their feet, diving past Derek and April. Then they both sprint the short distance to the open trunk and grab up two of the three remaining nerf guns. Lexie immediately takes off after April, who yelps and runs the other way.

The meager alliances quickly dissolve as it turns into all-out war. Jackson finally gets dragged in as well after being repeatedly pelted by Alex. It's utter chaos as they all run around the campsite shooting whoever they can. Everyone is laughing and yelling. Derek proves himself to be a master at dodging shots, which naturally makes him everyone's favorite target. At some point Meredith and Lexie end up back-to-back shooting everyone else. Alex somehow gets the monopoly on darts, which is far from fair. Jackson actually picks a screaming April up at one point and uses her as a human shield as he charges Alex. It's loud and crazy, but it's also the most fun Meredith's had in a long time.

Eventually they'll all tire out and bed down for the night in their respective tents. And then tomorrow, after they've packed their things and cleaned up the campsite, they'll pile into their cars and head back to the city to resume their normal lives. But for right now that all seems a lifetime away. And in this one moment of friendship and laughter and togetherness, it almost feels like tonight really could last forever.

* * *

Since this is one of your last chances to review, why not take advantage of that? Not to sound whiny, but I put a lot of work into this story, and it means a lot to know that you guys appreciate it. The epilogue will up on Friday as per my typical update schedule. It's a bit on the short side, but I think it's also pretty powerful. For those of you that had a hard time saying good-bye to Lexie's character and felt like the show has done her a disservice as far as paying its respects, the epilogue will hopefully be exactly what you're looking for. Fair warning though: you may want to bring some Kleenex with you. I'm just saying. Thanks again for reading, and I hope you'll all come back in two days for the final piece of this story.


	25. The Funeral (Part II)

Author's Note: "...and here we are. You and me, on the last page." I can't believe this story has finally reached its end. When I began this project, it was really just an experiment to see if I could come up with enough ideas to write a story around a song. Apparently I can. I'm really proud of this story, and I'm honored that so many other people have enjoyed it as well. This last scene returns us to where the prologue left off with Meredith standing at Lexie's grave trying to figure out how to say good-bye. Hopefully it does justice to their relationship in a way the show never did. I also included one of Derek's former patients in this scene - the writer Justine Campbell from 8x08. I loved the parallels between her characters and Lexie's love life, and Justine made a great comment about happy endings versus great stories that I just had to use here. I really think this epilogue pays worthy tribute to Lexie's character, so hopefully it doesn't feel too cheesy or out of character. And since I started this note with a Doctor Who quote, I might as well end it on a variation of another. This is the story of Lexie Grey. And this is how it ends.

Musical Inspiration: "How Far We've Come" cover by Boyce Avenue

Bonus Song: "I Was Here" by Beyonce (This just really strikes me as Lexie's anthem.)

* * *

 **The Funeral (Part II)**

Meredith has no idea how long she stands there in front of Lexie's tombstone. It might be hours or it might only be a few seconds. When she finally reopens her eyes, there's a watery film blurring her vision. But there's also a smile on her face.

"When we first met, I told you I didn't want to know you," Meredith says to the stone slab. "But you wouldn't take no for an answer. And I'm glad you didn't. Because having you in my life… There's this saying that only the good die young. But you were more than just good, Lexie. You were one of the best things that's ever happened to me. And you were certainly the best sister I could've ever asked for. So thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me. For forcing your way into my heart. Thank you for being my Little Grey."

Meredith's throat tightens up and she has to stop talking. She puts her hand to her mouth as she waits for her voice to come back. And after a moment it does. But by then she no longer knows what to say.

The sound of footsteps causes her to look over her shoulder. Standing a short distance behind her is a woman that Meredith recognizes as one of Derek's former patients who attended the funeral.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you," the woman says apologetically.

"It's okay," Meredith says.

"I don't believe we've met," the woman says. She takes the few remaining steps forward to Meredith and holds out her hand. "I'm Justine Campbell."

"The writer," Meredith says with a nod. She takes Justine's proffered hand, and they shake. "Lexie loved your books. They were some of her favorites."

"That's quite a compliment," Justine says. "I didn't know your sister very long, but it was long enough to know that she was a very special person."

"She was," Meredith agrees.

"She reminded me a lot of Kate, my main character," Justine says with a smile. "I suppose that's why I liked her so much."

"Kate's story meant a lot to Lexie," Meredith says.

"I'm glad," Justine says. She looks down at the tombstone and shakes her head. "She was so upset with me when she found out how it was going to end."

Meredith's gaze drops down to the stone as well.

"Actually, I think she might have changed her mind about that," she says.

"Really?" Justine asks in interest. "Why?"

"Because in the end, Lexie made the same choice as Kate," Meredith explains. She looks over at Justine with a smile. "She chose her Alexander."

"Did she, now?" Justine asks with a chuckle. A wide smile breaks out across her face. "I knew it! She told me that ending wasn't fair. And maybe it isn't. But it sure makes for one hell of a story."

"It did," Meredith says, and they both know she's not talking about Kate.

Silence falls briefly as they stare down at the grave marker. Then Justine looks over at Meredith.

"Your sister helped me with some of the writing on my next book," she says. "The manuscript isn't finished yet, but I just wanted you to know that when it is, I'm going to dedicate it to her."

"Lexie would've loved that," Meredith manages. Her throat is tightening up again, making it hard to talk.

"She helped save my life," Justine says in a matter-of-fact tone. "If she's half as good a doctor as I think she was, then she probably helped save a lot of lives. The service today made it pretty clear that your sister mattered to a lot of people. She won't be forgotten."

This time Meredith's throat closes up completely. Her eyes are watering as well. Apparently she still has some tears left after all.

"Thank you," she whispers.

"You're welcome," Justine says kindly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get Kate on her way to Alexander. But it was wonderful to meet you."

"You too," Meredith says.

She turns her attention back to Lexie's grave as Justine walks back toward the path. Their conversation has given Meredith an idea of what else she needs to say.

"You should know that Mark broke up with Julia," she says to the stone marker. "He told her he's still in love with you. In a way, I think he always was. Maybe he always will be. He just figured it out a little late. And I know that's not fair. But someday you two are going to be together again. And when that day comes, he'll be all yours." She smiles a little in spite of herself. "Maybe Kate and Alexander isn't such a bad ending after all."

Her smile slowly fades as she tries to figure out how she can possibly end this moment.

"I don't know how to do this," she admits softly. "I don't know how to tell you good-bye. So I'm just going to tell you that I miss you and I love you. I love you more than you could ever know. And I can't wait to see you again."

Meredith takes one last look at her sister's name carved into the tombstone before finally turning away. It's a short walk back across the grass to the path where Derek is patiently waiting.

"Ready to go?" he asks when she finally reaches him.

"I think so," Meredith says.

"Do you still want to go to the dinner?" Derek asks. "Because we can skip it if it's too much."

"No, I want to go," Meredith tells him. She slips her left hand into his good one. "We've mourned Lexie's death. Let's go celebrate her life. That's what she would've wanted."

Together they start heading down the path toward the entrance to the cemetery. As they walk, Justine's words continue to echo inside of Meredith's head. She had a point. Lexie's ending may not have been fair or happy, but her life still made for one hell of a story. And when it really comes down to it, Meredith figures that the journey matters far more than the destination anyway.

* * *

And there you have it. This story is officially ended. Before you go, please leave a final review letting me know your thoughts on this story. If you enjoyed any part of it at all, please take a few seconds out of your day to let me know that. You have no idea what feedback means to an author. If you enjoy my writing, feel free to go to my profile and see if any of my other works look interesting. For those of you who haven't read it yet, I wrote a "Grey's Anatomy" one-shot a while back about Meredith and Amelia after the end of season eleven. It's called "Picking Up the Pieces" if you're interested. Also, for the Harry Potter fans among you, I have a project in the works that would show the development of Lily's friendship with each of the four Marauders during the decade she knew them. I hope to start posting that within the next few weeks, so if that sounds like something you might want to read or if you just want to keep up with my work in general, make sure to follow me. I think that's everything I wanted to say... This story has been such a pleasure to work on, and I really hope you have all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. So for the last time, thanks so much for reading. And I hope to see you again on my future projects. :)


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